Been friends with Mom for five years and she has never invited us over
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Anonymous
But if she's having parties and not inviting OP...? |
Anonymous
| Meh. Maybe she’s one that doesn’t like people over. Dh has a hs friend (we are newrly 40) and I have knows her for 10 years and have never ever been to her house. She’s been at ours multiple times a year for big parties and just dinner. It used to bother me but then I found out she don’t have any rom over ever as their house is in a constant state of remodel and clutter and they have 2 very hyper dogs. |
Anonymous
| We don't invite people over because we live in a small townhouse and most of my DD's friends live in really nice, expensive homes. I'm embarrassed. |
Anonymous
| I don’t invite too many people over because I have no parking in front of my townhome. Our neighborhood doesn’t have visitor parking and the nearest street parking is 2 streets away. It’s probably something like that, OP. I wouldn’t take it personally. |
Anonymous
| Maybe her house is filthy and she is too embarrassed for other people to see. |
Anonymous
| Are you nosy? Be honest. I have one parent "friend" who is ok, but is the nosiest, most gossipy person ever. It's amazing. She'd be the kind of person who would go through your medicine cabinets and find a way to take a "peek" in the bedrooms and the home office if she came to visit. Then she'd note the price of the things you have and whether your office was messy and all sorts of things. We don't have deep secrets but who wants that? OUr kids are friends, so we're ok to meet out for playdates but I really don't want her over. |
Anonymous
maybe her house is too big? 
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Anonymous
She's just not that into you. If she wasn't hosting stuff then it makes sense that she just doesn't like to host anyone, you included. But if she's hosting stuff and doesn't invite you, then... |
Anonymous
| Don’t invite her to stuff if you will only be happy if she reciprocates. |
Anonymous
+1 Some people don't like having people over for any one of a million reasons that they may not want to share with you. We had about a year of not having people over because our cat was newly diagnosed with diabetes and we were struggling to get it under control and he was peeing EVERYWHERE - no matter what we did, our house reeked of cat urine (it was TERRIBLE) and I wasn't going to subject guests to that, nor was I advertising that I was basically living in a giant litter box. People may have hoarding issues, cleaning issues, OCD, sick pets, anxiety, family conflict, weird living habits, etc, etc, etc that may make them not want to have you over, and that's all totally understandable. (side note, the cat is fine, it got under control, and then we moved, there's been no pee issues in the new place. Old apartment had no security deposit and they didn't charge us, though I can't imagine why. If they'd sent us a bill for $5k for a complete tear out of the flooring, we would have said "fair" and totally paid it). |
Anonymous
| I don't like hosting regardless of who it is. I'm happy to organize meet ups at a park or other public location, but I don't enjoy having people at my house and I am not a good hostess. My house is fine and generally clean, but I hate being "on" if that makes sense. |
Anonymous
I agree with this, but it also sounds like it's not personal if other friends are experiencing the same. I think it's up to you whether you like her well enough to deal with the lack of reciprocity or if it's better to just cut ties. Does she host events other than birthday parties that you and your friends are excluded from? Sometimes friend groups, especially when kid relationships are involved, just aren't balanced. I have a friend that I really like that invites me to parties (pre-pandemic) twice a year. We host, but not bigger friend parties like that where she'd make the invite list, so we've never reciprocated. I make a point to keep in touch, but would understand, though be sad, if eventually we got cut from her invite list. Not sad enough though to start throwing the kinds of parties she does... |
Anonymous
| I am kinda like this person. If she is going to your events, she likes you! If she hosts things and doesn't invite you, drop her. |
Anonymous
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I've been friends with a woman for several years now, and not once has she invited me to her apartment. I believe she's anxious and insecure. However, she's also very kind and either invites me to a restaurant, or brings goodies to my house when we get together. In your case, OP, it depends whether your friend reciprocates in other ways. |
Anonymous
| This post is from 2018 |