Sister in law won’t add me to Facebook because she doesn’t want to make my husband’s ex mad

[Anonymous]

My husband and I have been together for 10 years and we have 2 children together. His ex has been out of the picture for longer than we’ve been together but she’s extremely bitter that he moved on. They do have 3 older children together.

His sister has always been fake to me. She’s always had a problem for whatever reason, I’m not sure. I’ve bern nothing but nice to her. She’s never said anything directly to me but when my husband and I first started dating, I was told by a mutual friend of ours that she said she hates me.

I feel like being rude every time I see her because I know that she doesn’t like me but out of respect for my husband, I just let it go.

What kind of grown woman wouldn’t add someone on social media so they don’t make their brother’s ex mad? This ex flat out called her names too but his family still favors her.

Also, my daughter’s birthday party is coming and I don’t want to invite her or her kids, will this make me look like a b****? I don’t want his parents to think I’m rude.

[Anonymous]

I'll be the first to say it,

GET OFF OF FACEBOOK IF IT CREATES UNNECESSARY DRAMA IN YOUR LIFE.

[Anonymous]

Answer to the question you asked - live you life and ignore her. Drop the rope. Be polite and extend invitations to events with the whole family, but otherwise let it go.

There does seem to be something missing here. Your husband left his first wife and three kids because... ? Something happened, even if it wasn't with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Answer to the question you asked - live you life and ignore her. Drop the rope. Be polite and extend invitations to events with the whole family, but otherwise let it go.

There does seem to be something missing here. Your husband left his first wife and three kids because... ? Something happened, even if it wasn't with you.

Ding ding ding. There's a lot missing here. Don't elicit judgement on family members through invitations to a child's birthday party. That part tells me you are part of the problem here.

[Anonymous]

less people know about someone via facebook the better.


abs fine to not invite mom of the "older step-kids" to your younger daughter's birthday. How old are they btw?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Answer to the question you asked - live you life and ignore her. Drop the rope. Be polite and extend invitations to events with the whole family, but otherwise let it go.

There does seem to be something missing here. Your husband left his first wife and three kids because... ? Something happened, even if it wasn't with you.

that's for SIL and her brother to sort out and has nothing to do with OP. unless there was cheating with OP 10+ years ago which broke up the marriage.

either way, it's pretty BS that this is going on 10 years out, but I suppose with co-parenting their 3 kids it's not a clean break. How old are these kids and what was the co-parenting arrangement the last 10, 12, 14 or whatever years?

[Anonymous]

I can't believe you're even wasting time getting upset about someone not adding you to social media. You really need to grow up and/or get a life. If something this trivial is upsetting you I can only imagine how you deal with bigger issues.

[Anonymous]

Who cares whether she adds you or why she doesn't? No big deal.

As for her being "fake", that is the appropriate thing to do with a family member that you do not like. You are supposed to be cordial. You know how you want to be rude, but you don't give into it out of respect for your husband? That's exactly what she's doing and that's what you are both supposed to do because you are adults. Of course you invite her and her kids to the party and of course it would be rude if you didn't.

[Anonymous]

Oh, if your 3 step-kids live mainly with their Mom (exwife of your husband), then yeah, I guess you'll have to courtesy invite her and hope she does not stick around for the whole thing.

Are the step kids rude or decent?

[Anonymous]

Her brother has complicated her family structure and life. We all have to recognize that the things we do impact our families in ways we might not consider all the time. I'm guessing your family situation has added a level of drama to hers that she didn't invite and she finds annoying.

[Anonymous]

Are SIL and DH's ex close friends? Were they ever?

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, there are 5 children involved and they are more important than any of the bitchy, whiny adults. The ex is part of the family because of her kids. I hope your SIL hasn't played favorites and included your husband's ex on FB but not you - that would be rude. But apart from that, you should just be relieved you're not seeing her FB nonsense!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I feel like being rude every time I see her because I know that she doesn’t like me but out of respect for my husband, I just let it go.

What kind of grown woman wouldn’t add someone on social media so they don’t make their brother’s ex mad? This ex flat out called her names too but his family still favors her.

Also, my daughter’s birthday party is coming and I don’t want to invite her or her kids, will this make me look like a b****? I don’t want his parents to think I’m rude.

Who know what her reasons are for not adding you. I don't add many of my ILs or hide their feed b/c I don't enjoy their content.

Also, to the bolded, one could ask, what kind of grown woman would care so much whether people add her on social media?

In all honesty, you sound very insecure and petty.

[Anonymous]

GROW UP!!!
My DH is not FB friends with most of his family, including his grown kids and mom. THEY DO NOT GIVE A RAT'S TAIL. They have real life relationships. You are bitching about FB? I can start to see why SIL is tired of your a**

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I feel like being rude every time I see her because I know that she doesn’t like me but out of respect for my husband, I just let it go.

What kind of grown woman wouldn’t add someone on social media so they don’t make their brother’s ex mad? This ex flat out called her names too but his family still favors her.

Also, my daughter’s birthday party is coming and I don’t want to invite her or her kids, will this make me look like a b****? I don’t want his parents to think I’m rude.

Who know what her reasons are for not adding you. I don't add many of my ILs or hide their feed b/c I don't enjoy their content.

Also, to the bolded, one could ask, what kind of grown woman would care so much whether people add her on social media?

In all honesty, you sound very insecure and petty.

Amen. To the point she is considering not inviting nieces and nephews to their cousins birthday party.