Sister in law won’t add me to Facebook because she doesn’t want to make my husband’s ex mad

[Anonymous]

What kind of grown woman with kids gets emotional about being FB friends - when you’re clearly not friends. You say SHE’S fake? That’s pretty rich and you’re a petty immature hypocrite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have been together for 10 years and we have 2 children together. His ex has been out of the picture for longer than we’ve been together but she’s extremely bitter that he moved on. They do have 3 older children together.

His sister has always been fake to me. She’s always had a problem for whatever reason, I’m not sure. I’ve bern nothing but nice to her. She’s never said anything directly to me but when my husband and I first started dating, I was told by a mutual friend of ours that she said she hates me.

I feel like being rude every time I see her because I know that she doesn’t like me but out of respect for my husband, I just let it go.

What kind of grown woman wouldn’t add someone on social media so they don’t make their brother’s ex mad? This ex flat out called her names too but his family still favors her.

Also, my daughter’s birthday party is coming and I don’t want to invite her or her kids, will this make me look like a b****? I don’t want his parents to think I’m rude.

Translation: my SIL confided to a friend 10 years ago that she hated me and I have held it against her ever since in spite of her being perfectly civil to me in person for the past decade. Who cares if she is “fake” nice. That is just a bitchy way of saying she is nice to you! She is not obligated to genuinely like you! She just has to be civil in person!

As for the FB mess, maybe she doesn’t want to friend you because you are a chronic sh!t-stirrer, or maybe it is the only way she gets to communicate with her 3 nieces and nephews when they are with their mom and friending you would cut that off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are SIL and DH's ex close friends? Were they ever?

No, they were never friends. She has talked badly about her several times. That’s why I don’t get it.

[Anonymous]

Wow. Posts like this remind me why I dropped Facebook. Grown adults acting like teenagers. It was embarrassing to watch.

[Anonymous]

I agree with others, OP - you're getting way, wayyyyy too worked up over social media connections. Focus on how relationships are OUTSIDE the platform. And for pete's sake, don't punish someone because of accepting or not accepting a friend request.

[Anonymous]

It’s not Facebook that matters, it’s the point. She never sees her neices and has an ongoing problem with me no matter what I do. I used to watch her kid every weekend so she could go out and she still “hates” me? I think the whole Facebook thing just confirms her hatred and it’s surprising to me, I guess. I’m just shocked is all. I wanted a good relationship with my in laws but she has ruined that for me, for absolutely NO reason.

[Anonymous]

Its been ten years. Move on. Conduct your relationships off social media.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not Facebook that matters, it’s the point. She never sees her neices and has an ongoing problem with me no matter what I do. I used to watch her kid every weekend so she could go out and she still “hates” me? I think the whole Facebook thing just confirms her hatred and it’s surprising to me, I guess. I’m just shocked is all. I wanted a good relationship with my in laws but she has ruined that for me, for absolutely NO reason.

Is this the OP? Yes, you're right the issue isn't the facebook, it's your relationship with your SIL. Which is a bigger deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not Facebook that matters, it’s the point. She never sees her neices and has an ongoing problem with me no matter what I do. I used to watch her kid every weekend so she could go out and she still “hates” me? I think the whole Facebook thing just confirms her hatred and it’s surprising to me, I guess. I’m just shocked is all. I wanted a good relationship with my in laws but she has ruined that for me, for absolutely NO reason.

Again - you’re just not getting the REAL point. You’re tying emotions to FB. Who does that? How in the world does her choosing not to be FB friends equate to her hating you now and ruining your relationship with ILs? If you really cared about relationships you wouldn’t hold invites for the cousins of your own children out of spite. You’re petty and immature and frankly you’re showing why your SIL keeps you at a distance.

You’re assuming SIL chooses not to be on FB with you because of the ex - she may just genuinely not want to be your friend but is mature enough to be fake nice for sake of family.

Honestly you sound exhausting in 2/3 posts so I can only imagine how you operate in real life. Mature people don’t want or need drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Answer to the question you asked - live you life and ignore her. Drop the rope. Be polite and extend invitations to events with the whole family, but otherwise let it go.

There does seem to be something missing here. Your husband left his first wife and three kids because... ? Something happened, even if it wasn't with you.

Exactly. My radar says gold digger. OPs husband is old she is young and they are gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Answer to the question you asked - live you life and ignore her. Drop the rope. Be polite and extend invitations to events with the whole family, but otherwise let it go.

There does seem to be something missing here. Your husband left his first wife and three kids because... ? Something happened, even if it wasn't with you.

Exactly. My radar says gold digger. OPs husband is old she is young and they are gross.

Well Duh. She is getting worked up over Facebook. She's young and immature.

[Anonymous]

She was his first wife and they have three kids together. Not everything is all about YOU! She was his first wife and you will always be second. Get over it and get off Facebook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, if your 3 step-kids live mainly with their Mom (exwife of your husband), then yeah, I guess you'll have to courtesy invite her and hope she does not stick around for the whole thing.

Are the step kids rude or decent?

Since OP's DH has been divorced more than the 10 years they've been together, all three of the kids are 11+. Their mother does not need to be invited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, if your 3 step-kids live mainly with their Mom (exwife of your husband), then yeah, I guess you'll have to courtesy invite her and hope she does not stick around for the whole thing.

Are the step kids rude or decent?

Since OP's DH has been divorced more than the 10 years they've been together, all three of the kids are 11+. Their mother does not need to be invited.

What? OP is not inviting the first wife she’s inviting her SIL - her DH’s sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have been together for 10 years and we have 2 children together. His ex has been out of the picture for longer than we’ve been together but she’s extremely bitter that he moved on. They do have 3 older children together.

His sister has always been fake to me. She’s always had a problem for whatever reason, I’m not sure. I’ve bern nothing but nice to her. She’s never said anything directly to me but when my husband and I first started dating, I was told by a mutual friend of ours that she said she hates me.

I feel like being rude every time I see her because I know that she doesn’t like me but out of respect for my husband, I just let it go.

What kind of grown woman wouldn’t add someone on social media so they don’t make their brother’s ex mad? This ex flat out called her names too but his family still favors her.

Also, my daughter’s birthday party is coming and I don’t want to invite her or her kids, will this make me look like a b****? I don’t want his parents to think I’m rude.

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