Son home from Peace Corps, now wants to go to grad school? When does adulthood start?

[Anonymous]

Our son is just back from Peace Corps service and now talking about graduate school but he has never worked at a real full time job for more than a couple months, paid his own cell phone bill or made a car payment (we are providing a used car). We're torn about what to say to him but we feel like he needs to experience real adult life before embarking on another expensive educational pursuit that may or may not lead to a good job. This seems to be a pattern among many of our friends young adult kids who aren't launching until their 30s, if then. Any advice?

[Anonymous]

"That's nice honey. How will you pay for it?"

[Anonymous]

He can go when he has the money to pay or get loans. You are enabling him. I got off my parents everything after I graduated college at 21.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"That's nice honey. How will you pay for it?"

+1 You are doing your kid a huge disservice if you aren't teaching him to earn his own living. It's part of your job as a parent, same as teaching him to tie his shoelaces and do his homework.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"That's nice honey. How will you pay for it?"

+1

I had a friend that did Peace Corp and then grad schools BUT she held a job that had some sort of loan forgivess from working in the community and she figured out how to pay for grad school. She had good contacts/network from the Peace Corps. Her grad degree was related to the work in the Peace Corp and her uktimae career field.

[Anonymous]

Wow, I only wish my son would have interests like that! Give him kudos and Grad School, if you can afford it.

[Anonymous]

I am a bit torn, because it is entirely possible that his Peace Corps service opened your son's eyes to a new career path or calling. One example would be public health.

If he wants to pursue that, he needs training in it. Perhaps (especially if you have the money), compromise by telling your son that he can go if he works X hours a week or once he saves a certain proportion of the costs. That would send a message but not force him to pay penance in a field he does not care about just to make a point.

You should be very proud of the choice he made to serve people who were less privileged. He gave up the comforts of US living to do that. So, he is not a spoiled, entitled brat.

[Anonymous]

He's presumably not going to start grad school for almost a year, correct? Wean him off of your financial support over the next 2 months. Tell him he needs a full-time job by Thanksgiving, and that he should decide if he wants to 1) move out of your house or 2) pay you a nominal room/board and save the rest of his paycheck for grad school. Tell him that he is on his own financially for grad school. How will you pay for it? is a great line.

He will likely not land the job of his dreams in two months, but he could temp or substitute teach or nanny or do any number of things to help develop the skills so that he can make a good decision about what he does next.

[Anonymous]

Let me get this straight: you are CRITICIZING someone who did valuable service to the world on behalf of our country because you don't consider that "adult"? How much more adult can someone be than to manage a posting away from home in a different culture?

On the grad school front, your son should learn about the Coverdell fellowship program, where participating universities give reduced tuition and even stipends and assistantantships to Peace Corps alums. Maybe he is aware of that program, and that's what driving his interest in grad school.

[Anonymous]

Grad school is an adult activity. There is little to no time for socializing. I know many people in my program who divorced because of the time pressures and stress. One woman had an abortion after seeing how I and other moms in the program were treated.

I’d also consider serving in the Peace Corps an adult activity. I dropped out of the application process because I became pregnant with my oldest, but I’ve always been impressed with the former volunteers that I work with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our son is just back from Peace Corps service and now talking about graduate school but he has never worked at a real full time job for more than a couple months, paid his own cell phone bill or made a car payment (we are providing a used car). We're torn about what to say to him but we feel like he needs to experience real adult life before embarking on another expensive educational pursuit that may or may not lead to a good job. This seems to be a pattern among many of our friends young adult kids who aren't launching until their 30s, if then. Any advice?

I think we should support our children for as long as they need it. He has done a wonderful service for the world with the peace corps and now he wants to further his education.

If you can afford it help him. In your situation I would ask him to get a part time job and start paying his bills while paying for his schooling.

My oldest son is a jr and has plans for grad school, we intend to support him through it and give him the best start in life.

[Anonymous]

Grad school is great. He’ll just have to get his own loans for school and pay them off. That’s life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Grad school is great. He’ll just have to get his own loans for school and pay them off. That’s life.

Agree. I paid for my full time MBA. If it’s grad school in a program that leads to a job that allows hm to repay the loans then great. If it’s not then he needs funding from the school.

And the Peace Corps is a great start and is a real job.

[Anonymous]

Can you afford it or not? BIL went to grad school and worked through it and paid loans for it. How old is your DS? If 23, maybe, if 29, he needs to step up.

[Anonymous]

He's never worked at all? Or never worked a regular job?

Peace Corps doesn't cost money, right? It's a job ...

I always had some kind of job starting at 16. All through college and grad school (10 years altogether). Ad a lot of grad school was covered through fellowships and teaching assistant gigs. My parents still helped, which I greatly appreciated.