Son home from Peace Corps, now wants to go to grad school? When does adulthood start?
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Anonymous
Maybe you should not be advising this kid. You sound like you care about $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$, which is not exactly the type of person who volunteers for the Peace Corps (thankfully... I would hate to have you representing our country overseas) |
Anonymous
| I was an adult in grad school. I earned enough to support myself, taught after my first fellowship year, worked an outside job in the summers, got married, and had a kid. Still haven't checked "buy a house" off because DH is likely to change jobs again in the next year or two, but they're not incompatible. That's without even getting into Peace Corps. |
Anonymous
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Let your child know that he/she is responsible for their graduate education is totally acceptable. Some kids do think they are "on their own" when in reality, the bank of mom and dad subsidize parts of their life. It's up to you to make your kid an independent adult.
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Anonymous
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Depending on the field, grad school may come with a stipend. In most STEM fields, any decent student will receive a tuition waiver and a teaching or researcher assistantship. That means, the only thing they are paying with is time.
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Anonymous
| I was a Peace Corps Volunteer, came home and lived with my parents for a few months, and then went to grad school for public health. I ended up switching to full time work and part time school after the first semester because my public health job was awesome, and offered some tuition remission for full time employees. Still took out loans and it took me a decade to play them off, but it was worth it. I am a senior manager at a public health NGO and make a fine living doing work I love. Support your kid emotionally, OP. Buy him a suit if he needs it for interviews and feed him homemade food. But how he manages and pays for grad school is his to decide and act on. He needs your rock solid belief and love, not your money. |
Anonymous
Agreed. And it's by no means an easy job. OP, your son did a very good thing through his Peace Corps service. It probably helped him gain new insight about his skills & expertise. Grad school is a good way to develop that expertise. The Peace Corps network is an extremely strong one. If you want him to support himself through grad school - very reasonable expectation - he can reach out to the network to find part-time work & maybe internships while he's in grad school. |
Anonymous
| Where’s OP? |
Anonymous
OP you sound like a moron. Of course DS should finance his own grad school and if you can’t agford to keep him on your family cell phone plan that too. But he just got back from two years of an intense full time job, probably a more challenging job than you have ever had. Grad school would most likely increase his earning power and career flexibility a ton and to discourage him seems very short sighted. |
Anonymous
| Tell him to take the foreign service exam and serve well - he could be offered a free ma at MSU/war college etc after 12-15 years of service. Free. Also the process of applying is so long that by the time he is at the top of the list perhaps the hiring scene will change. Many pcvs in the fs. |
Anonymous
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The peace corps is "the toughest JOB you'll ever love"
It's a job. He is an adult. Who cares about his fellow humans more than you do, apparently. |
Anonymous
A troll. If they never return then chances are they are a troll. |
Anonymous
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Sounds like a wonderful person, OP. Sometimes wonderful people need to be helped. My profoundly gifted cousin, who managed to get 2 PhDs in her 20s, is now working in Africa with Oxfam and needs financial help from her parents because right now it doesn't pay much. But soon she will be independent. Never rich, I imagine. We are a family of MDs and PhDs, mostly skewing towards research. All intellectuals who have contributed to global knowledge, cancer research, etc. But not rich. |
Anonymous
Exactly. My mom helped me pay for undergrad but grad school was all on me. She did let me live at home though but I paid for grad schools with loans. I also had a PT job during grad school which paid for my car payment, gas, insurance, cell phone, etc. |
Anonymous
I care about responsibility. He is back living with us, we have provided a car, cell phone, etc. I know of many young adults who are still being heavily subsidized by parents well into their 30s and our son is getting close. I'm just trying to find the right balance between support and indulgence. |
Anonymous
| OP here: I don't lurk constantly on DCUM so sorry for delay in getting back. He did not complete his Peace Corps volunteer term, through no fault of his own. His community wanted a suspension bridge, which he was in no way qualified to provide. They resisted other projects and the site was shut down by PC administration, so he returned home after a year's service with great recs. but does not qualify for scholarships, etc. He is also a decorated veteran who did college on the GI bill. He's a great person. I'm just trying to advise him as well as I can. |