cutting off dyed hair and letting it grow in gray

[Anonymous]

Would you recommend this? Or just let it grow out, no drastic cut?

Or did you revert back to coloring?

I am feeling very close to OVER all of the expensive, ridiculous maintenance I do. I'm in my early 40s with white hair/mixed with some natural brown, currently colored in attempt to retain youthful appearance.

I have an older boss with a helmet of stiff dyed hair. I don't want to look like that, but I empathize very much.

I searched for threads, and only found frequency of coloring.

Please do tell? Also any related information that has to do with your hair program, such as your work environment, age bracket, and if you care what other people think about your appearance.

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

How long is it? If it's shoulder length you can wear it in an updo. That's a good look while it grows out.

[Anonymous]

My hairdresser told me that she had one client who had her only color the hair right around her part while she was transitioning. I guess after that she moved her part or something to make it less obvious, but I am intrigued and may ask her to try doing the same with me.

One of the teachers at my kids’ school just stopped coloring and had a line of demarcation for a couple of years. I think that would drive me nuts on my own head.

[Anonymous]

No unless you want to be treated as less and become invisible

[Anonymous]

People blog about this transition. I just googled "goiggrayblogs" and a few sites pop up. I think you also need to have a plan with your hairdresser. At some point in the grow out phase, you will probably need to cut your hair shorter. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No unless you want to be treated as less and become invisible

Good point.

Do you need attention for your physcial appearance? I've had it in spades since i was 15, and it really messed with me. Being less noticable is appealing now. Why should the male gaze matter to me even in the least? Serious question- why? It does not anymore. I am sorry that all females have to struggle to succeed and be strategic to emerge as themselves, under this burdensome obligation. What a waste of time and energy.

What would you look like, or better yet, act or do or think, if you weren't so preoccupied with making sure men found you attractive?

Manage your appearance with your own best interests in mind. Hair obviously will grow back if you don't like it.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm 52 and grew out my hair about 4 years ago; it's been a great experience.

FYI, It looks like hell when you are growing it out, for two reasons: First, your dyed hair is going to oxidize to a brassy color, and second, gray hair is not really gray, but color-less and the oxidyzed dyed hair will reflect off it until it's cut off.

To get longish shoulder length took me 2.8 years. The worst is the first 4 months, when you look like you are neglecting yourself and your root touch-up; once you pass 4 months, you look like you are intentionally growing it out, not falling apart.

My DH was unhappy with it until the last of the dye was cut off. Suddenly it all worked.

I get lots of compliments on my skin now--it's crazy, it's like one a week. I think it's because my salt & pepper hair is a great shade for my skin tone. I think sure, gray hair signals age, but makes one's skin look healthy as nature picks the right color for your face.

Also, I strongly disagree with the invisibility idea. Who puts that fear out there, Clairol? But there IS a fear, and OP, you'll get people telling you not to do it, that you'll be old, invisible, blah blah...it's just people reflecting their own fears. It's surprisingly hard to do, OP, because it takes a while and at first you get all that un-asked for feedback. But I'm on a blog of people who grew out their gray hair, and they are very cool people; I've met some IRL and they are all strong, nice, feminine, and definitely not sheeple.

[Anonymous]

I want to look attractive for myself. I don’t give a damn what other people think.

When I look unkept, sloppy and out of shape, it means I don’t care about myself. Yes, I want to look good, because looking good makes me feel good.

I dye every three weeks. I like going to see my hairdresser and feeling pampered. I think the upkeep is worth it because I feel beautiful with great looking hair - crowning glory.

[Anonymous]

"I wish I had the guts", is a comment I've received from other women.

[Anonymous]

Ditto. Have never dyed and regularly get compliments.

[Anonymous]

Haven't done this myself, but a co-worker did last year. She had shoulder-length hair, and grew it out until the grey line was just over her ears. I'll admit, I thought at first that she was just doing a crappy job of keeping up with the dye jobs. Then one day she chopped it off into a pixie cut and looked AWESOME! I only noticed the awkward in-between stage for a few months - I'm sure she felt it longer, lol, but that's the only time that it was really noticeable to me. She looks great now.

[Anonymous]

I'm 58 and never dyed my hair. Too much trouble keeping that going. MOO, a waste of money. Has nothing to do with looking good. It's fake. I don't do fake.

My sister colors her hair according to what husband she has. !st, she was a redhead. 2nd, she was a honey brown. 3rd, she was highlighted with brown base. Saw her recently online, she's sporting blonde hair for number 4. She looks like an old hooker. I wonder what color she'll be for number 5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of the teachers at my kids’ school just stopped coloring and had a line of demarcation for a couple of years. I think that would drive me nuts on my own head.

20:29 here. Re this, as soon as the gray hair is long enough to be put in a ponytail, it makes a big difference. The ponytail is dyed and the gray is on your head. Actually, really after a few inches, if you wear your hair in a ponytail, you look fine straight-on.

Admittedly, it's a slog, but looks so shiny and great when done!

To the PP who has the dyed "crowning glory," I think that is just great. However; I don't agree with the implication that *not dying* one's hair means that one doesn't care about one's self. Not dying one's hair is not a sign of neglect, unless it is accompanied with other signs of neglect.

[Anonymous]

Why would you not be doing demi-permanent washes until the real color grows out? Then the demi-perm fades you will have all gray underneath

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 58 and never dyed my hair. Too much trouble keeping that going. MOO, a waste of money. Has nothing to do with looking good. It's fake. I don't do fake.

My sister colors her hair according to what husband she has. !st, she was a redhead. 2nd, she was a honey brown. 3rd, she was highlighted with brown base. Saw her recently online, she's sporting blonde hair for number 4. She looks like an old hooker. I wonder what color she'll be for number 5.

Sometimes as people age, they also become less judgemental about others’ personal choices. But not always, I suppose.