cutting off dyed hair and letting it grow in gray

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, some of these responses have made me chuckle.

i am 45 and an analyst for the Federal Government. i have brown curly hair that falls to my collarbone. i started growing out my gray 1 year ago as i hit the wall then with the upkeep. at this point, i am 50-60% gray around my face and maybe 25% gray over the rest of my head. when i put my hair back in a ponytail or bun, i look 80% gray.

i did not cut my hair. rather, i went to a colorist who said NO to dying gray - he had tried that with another client and it was an epic fail. instead, he gave me ash-y highlights, especially where the majority of my gray had started to peak through (i was probably 1-2" grown out by then). he also gave me some lowlights. this was 10 months ago and i have not been back. i really don't have that much of a demarcation line even around my face, because of the highlights and lowlights that he put in.

i have also changed my makeup. you need to add more color to your face to balance out the gray - so instead of a clear lipgloss i am waring pinkish-red on my lips and never forget to put on blusher. i am happy with my new look, as is my DH. i have zero desire to look "young". why? who takes "young" people seriously? i'm over that phase in life. rather, i want to look good for my age.

one thing i will say about going gray...i realized that i did not want to be gray and frumpy. it motivated me to lose 30 pounds, so now i am thin, my skin looks great, and i've revamped my wardrobe.

hope that helps!

Wow congratulations! That is amazing! Thanks for the details, and your comments on makeup. Appreciate those!

Yes, congratulations, and thanks for posting. As soon as I lose weight, I'm going gray.

[Anonymous]

In case you are interested in a good essay on this subject, here is an excellent read:

Gone Gray

Jessica Berger Gross reflects on what letting her roots grow in at age 45 has meant, in terms of feminism and resistance.

"It’s July 2018, and I haven’t colored my hair since the end of August 2017. Eleven months in, I realize this is a small matter — an admittedly superficial thing. While activists have been calling out racists and taking down sexual predators, I’ve been growing out my roots. But it’s not nothing. There are aspects of my going gray that are political. Giving myself permission to break unspoken rules has been liberating and life-changing. I declare this my very personal middle finger to Trump — and all things patriarchy.

Like so many women, I was plagued by a vain and longstanding paranoia about what people might think of me. And by me, I mean my looks. And by people, I mostly mean people in New York."

https://longreads.com/2018/07/10/gone-gray/

[Anonymous]

I'm in your shoes -- early 40s, but I'm about 80% gray (yay shitty genetics!). I get my hair colored every 5 weeks.

My mom, at the time was in her late 50s, and decided to stop color (she was coloring every 3 weeks and had been 100% gray for at least 10 years). Her hair dresser removed the color from her hair so that she didn't look like a hot mess. I think this worked ok for my mom because she's always had short hair. I'm not sure if color removal would work for long hair. Anyway, she kept it gray/white for about a year. She's fair skinned with a bit of a ruddy complexion and the gray hair aged her significantly. And, on top of it, it wasn't pretty gray. My dad has lovely snow-white hair that's still pretty thick (where he has it). He also is very fair, but with a cool undertone. Gray hair works better for him.

So mom is back to coloring her hair every three weeks. And will until she dies and I'll probably have to get someone to make sure she doesn't have roots when she's in her coffin.

So think through how you'll look overall - consider your skin tone and see if your hair stylist can give you some insight to how it will look with your skin.

[Anonymous]

I am 50 percent grey and color every 2-3 weeks. It's a drag.

I would love to see transition photos of people who pulled this off successfully. I think the first step may be to go lighter. I am dark ash blonde according to the box.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wanted to add too that older women are also dealing with sagging skin and changes in complexion color. Combine that with grey hair and you have a career scenario that has you pegged as old in a society where ageism is well and alive. The advice on this thread isn't taking actual age or rippling effects of the 20 sec rule into account.

Agreed aging includes other appearance changes, not just the hair. If you look on @grombre on Instagram, the women look very bright and young and beautiful. There are some older ladies on there, but I think it’s mostly 30 somethings saying Ed u to the beauty industrial complex and societal norms. The silver hair they wear is like a statement and cool accessory.

Older gray (50?)60+

Younger gray up to 40s

Two different categories and concerns.

the OP is in her 40s; those of us responding to her are as well. she asked for our opinions for those of us who have done it. we have replied.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 50 percent grey and color every 2-3 weeks. It's a drag.

I would love to see transition photos of people who pulled this off successfully. I think the first step may be to go lighter. I am dark ash blonde according to the box.

Check out the Gray and Proud FB group someone mentioned upthread. I joined it after reading this thread and it has a lot of transition pictures and tips. Many of those women look so amazing! They also seem to have beautiful skin which, alas, I do not.