cutting off dyed hair and letting it grow in gray

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 58 and never dyed my hair. Too much trouble keeping that going. MOO, a waste of money. Has nothing to do with looking good. It's fake. I don't do fake.

My sister colors her hair according to what husband she has. !st, she was a redhead. 2nd, she was a honey brown. 3rd, she was highlighted with brown base. Saw her recently online, she's sporting blonde hair for number 4. She looks like an old hooker. I wonder what color she'll be for number 5.

She sounds like a lot of fun!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gray hair looks bad when you aren't doing very high maintenance on cut, daily styling, eyebrows, makeup, skin care, and clothing. You don't have any wiggle room to slack off when you're gray. My mom, who was a full time homemaker her entire married life, wears at least lipstick and blush every single day and wouldn't think of putting her hair into a ponytail unless she was scrubbing a toilet. She has had gorgeous silver hair since she was about 45 and is constantly complimented on her glamorous look. If you can do all the grooming and styling, then by all means go gray. But for those of us who are too lazy/busy/whatever and know we'll spend weekends running around without makeup and won't always manage to have our brows done every 7 days, we will look like those sad women who have just given up if we go gray. Those are the people who give gray a bad rep. And don't think for a minute that going gray is going to save you money. In order to avoid that awful yellow tinge you have to use special shampoos, and gray hair needs to be "colored" with a clear no-color glaze at least once a month to avoid those crooked wire hairs that stick up. And your cut has to be high quality and kept up regularly. You need deep conditioning on a regular basis. So you end up spend just as much time and money as if you kept coloring.

You have a lot of issues.

[Anonymous]

May have issues, but your hair looks like crap and you don't even realize it. There is no shortcut to looking stylish and polished. But go ahead and tell yourself that there is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gray hair looks bad when you aren't doing very high maintenance on cut, daily styling, eyebrows, makeup, skin care, and clothing. You don't have any wiggle room to slack off when you're gray. My mom, who was a full time homemaker her entire married life, wears at least lipstick and blush every single day and wouldn't think of putting her hair into a ponytail unless she was scrubbing a toilet. She has had gorgeous silver hair since she was about 45 and is constantly complimented on her glamorous look. If you can do all the grooming and styling, then by all means go gray. But for those of us who are too lazy/busy/whatever and know we'll spend weekends running around without makeup and won't always manage to have our brows done every 7 days, we will look like those sad women who have just given up if we go gray. Those are the people who give gray a bad rep. And don't think for a minute that going gray is going to save you money. In order to avoid that awful yellow tinge you have to use special shampoos, and gray hair needs to be "colored" with a clear no-color glaze at least once a month to avoid those crooked wire hairs that stick up. And your cut has to be high quality and kept up regularly. You need deep conditioning on a regular basis. So you end up spend just as much time and money as if you kept coloring.

I think I know what you mean. I am not a polished person, nor would I be willing to do all of this! This regimen sounds intense. I would probably look like a shaggy sad homeless person, or a cartoon style witch.

[Anonymous]

^ except none of that is true. I have been mostly gray for years. I use a blue tint shampoo twice weekly,

I go for my normal haircuts twice a year. (I know most people go more often but I can't manage it).

I adjusted my makeup and clothing to lighter and brighter colors.

That is the extent of my maintenance. My hair looks pretty damned good.


I am 44 and perfectly happy. My husband is happy and I haven't disappeared at work.

It's okay I'd you want to keep coloring, that's a legit choice. But people shouldn't be so hostile to other choices and fabricate these scare tactics of gnarly, intensive regimes.

THAT is a bad look.

[Anonymous]

I'm 40 and am lucky in that I have no visible grays. I've never colored my hair. I'm hoping to keep it that way and go gray naturally, but we'll see. If I were significantly gray at 35, I'd probably feel differently. M mom is 65 and not completely gray yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ except none of that is true. I have been mostly gray for years. I use a blue tint shampoo twice weekly,

I go for my normal haircuts twice a year. (I know most people go more often but I can't manage it).

I adjusted my makeup and clothing to lighter and brighter colors.

That is the extent of my maintenance. My hair looks pretty damned good.


I am 44 and perfectly happy. My husband is happy and I haven't disappeared at work.

It's okay I'd you want to keep coloring, that's a legit choice. But people shouldn't be so hostile to other choices and fabricate these scare tactics of gnarly, intensive regimes.

THAT is a bad look.

Thank you!! I love this and appreciate you sharing! Sounds like a lovely and natural and confident way of being. I would like this, plus I am the same age as

you! The gray hair issue really made me aware of how much my own appearance mattered to me and is part of my identity. I strongly dislike that about myself. I didn’t know I was vain and self centered- my assessment of myself, not a criticism of anyone else. You are right, zero need for hostility. I wonder why certain high level female politicians continue to color (unless it’s natural??)- Clinton and Warren and Feinstein for ex. Hair color must matter, in some weird way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 40 and am lucky in that I have no visible grays. I've never colored my hair. I'm hoping to keep it that way and go gray naturally, but we'll see. If I were significantly gray at 35, I'd probably feel differently. M mom is 65 and not completely gray yet.

Yes you are lucky! Enjoy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ except none of that is true. I have been mostly gray for years. I use a blue tint shampoo twice weekly,

I go for my normal haircuts twice a year. (I know most people go more often but I can't manage it).

I adjusted my makeup and clothing to lighter and brighter colors.

That is the extent of my maintenance. My hair looks pretty damned good.


I am 44 and perfectly happy. My husband is happy and I haven't disappeared at work.

It's okay I'd you want to keep coloring, that's a legit choice. But people shouldn't be so hostile to other choices and fabricate these scare tactics of gnarly, intensive regimes.

THAT is a bad look.

NP - IMO one of the reasons your grey hair is working for you is because of your youthful age. It's a fallacy that grey hair is coarser. What actually happens is that as we get older our sebum glands produce less oil which results in drier hair texture. So grey hair pre and post menopause can be very different to manage. An older woman who wants to maintain a youthful look will have different options than someone in their 40's.

[Anonymous]

I wanted to add too that older women are also dealing with sagging skin and changes in complexion color. Combine that with grey hair and you have a career scenario that has you pegged as old in a society where ageism is well and alive. The advice on this thread isn't taking actual age or rippling effects of the 20 sec rule into account.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I saw a woman do this my only thought would be how amazing, and wish I could be as brave. I am 35, color my hair every 3 weeks, started going grey in my teens. I am fed up of the color and honestly just want to stop. Everyone in my family goes grey in their teens, and my mom at 65 still colors her hair all the time. My aunt stopped at 53, and her hair looks amazing at 57. It's really dense, lush, thick, and healthy, even though it's completely grey.

We need more women embracing this to make it easier for the rest of us.

I also started going gray in my teens, and colored my hair for maybe 4-5 years in my late twenties and early thirties. The last time I colored I got as close to my natural dark brown as possible and then that was it. I went with a short cut for a half a year or so. At that point I was probably only 25% gray so the transition wasn't terribly noticeable. I am now 45 and am maybe 60% white, 40% dark. The dark looks very dark against the white. When I style my hair and wear it down it is pretty damn striking. When I don't bother (usually) it looks like it always did - a big mop of wavy hair. Just white, now. I do look older than I am, for sure. People are used to seeing gray and white hair on 60 somethings, not 40 somethings, so at work people assume I am part of the older cohort. Whatever. Doesn't bother me. I think I don't care because I do things that make my body feel wonderful - I rock climb and hike and kayak and run. I went to a dermatologist and got a recommendation for face cleanser and moisturizer when I haven't been able to use cosmetics due to sensitive skin. I recently threw out all my clothes that didn't feel good or look good on my body. Yeah, I look like a middle aged woman. It feels awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I saw a woman do this my only thought would be how amazing, and wish I could be as brave. I am 35, color my hair every 3 weeks, started going grey in my teens. I am fed up of the color and honestly just want to stop. Everyone in my family goes grey in their teens, and my mom at 65 still colors her hair all the time. My aunt stopped at 53, and her hair looks amazing at 57. It's really dense, lush, thick, and healthy, even though it's completely grey.

We need more women embracing this to make it easier for the rest of us.

I also started going gray in my teens, and colored my hair for maybe 4-5 years in my late twenties and early thirties. The last time I colored I got as close to my natural dark brown as possible and then that was it. I went with a short cut for a half a year or so. At that point I was probably only 25% gray so the transition wasn't terribly noticeable. I am now 45 and am maybe 60% white, 40% dark. The dark looks very dark against the white. When I style my hair and wear it down it is pretty damn striking. When I don't bother (usually) it looks like it always did - a big mop of wavy hair. Just white, now. I do look older than I am, for sure. People are used to seeing gray and white hair on 60 somethings, not 40 somethings, so at work people assume I am part of the older cohort. Whatever. Doesn't bother me. I think I don't care because I do things that make my body feel wonderful - I rock climb and hike and kayak and run. I went to a dermatologist and got a recommendation for face cleanser and moisturizer when I haven't been able to use cosmetics due to sensitive skin. I recently threw out all my clothes that didn't feel good or look good on my body. Yeah, I look like a middle aged woman. It feels awesome.

Nice!!!!!! I love this story. Right on! I go to yoga with this super fit lady has a couple of kids under ten, and she sports a long poof of silver hair. She looks great but seriously in regard to ageism, she is kind of going it relatively alone, if you look around the room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wanted to add too that older women are also dealing with sagging skin and changes in complexion color. Combine that with grey hair and you have a career scenario that has you pegged as old in a society where ageism is well and alive. The advice on this thread isn't taking actual age or rippling effects of the 20 sec rule into account.

Agreed aging includes other appearance changes, not just the hair. If you look on @grombre on Instagram, the women look very bright and young and beautiful. There are some older ladies on there, but I think it’s mostly 30 somethings saying Ed u to the beauty industrial complex and societal norms. The silver hair they wear is like a statement and cool accessory.

Older gray (50?)60+

Younger gray up to 40s

Two different categories and concerns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wanted to add too that older women are also dealing with sagging skin and changes in complexion color. Combine that with grey hair and you have a career scenario that has you pegged as old in a society where ageism is well and alive. The advice on this thread isn't taking actual age or rippling effects of the 20 sec rule into account.

Agreed aging includes other appearance changes, not just the hair. If you look on @grombre on Instagram, the women look very bright and young and beautiful. There are some older ladies on there, but I think it’s mostly 30 somethings saying efff-u to the beauty industrial complex and societal norms. The silver hair they wear is like a statement and cool accessory.

Older gray (50?)60+

Younger gray up to 40s

Two different categories and concerns.

[Anonymous]

I am 42. My dark brown hair has been going gray since my late 20s. I used to get it colored at Salon Revive on U street where they did a simply amazing job. I stopped coloring it about a year ago bc my roots got so aggressive and I just couldn't do every 3 weeks. I agree with above posters that the first 3 months are the worst bc it looks unintentional.

My hair is probably 65/35 gray to brown at this point and the hair that is growing in is in lovely condition, shiny with great body and movement. I have a round face and I don't want to have a short cut that wont flatter me so I have been maintaining it at my just skimming the shoulders length and cutting out the color every 2-3 months. Right now the demarcation line is about mid-ear. I will likely cut it all off when it gets just below my chin, 2-3 inches max. I expect to be done by the new year but I absolutely need it to have it ready by my 25th high school reunion next spring!

I also recently bought this, which leaves me with pretty, blow-out quality hair everyday: https://www.babylisspro.com/product.php?pcID=206_153&product_id=260

I am very happy with my decision to grow it out and the comments I've received have been incredibly positive, although one person thought I was "going blonde" and another that I had gotten my hair "frosted." LOL