Upper middle class people- why don’t you want your kids to live a life of leisure?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:UMC kids are not rich. Rich kids can be lazy. The reason you are upper middle class is because you do not have generational wealth.

DH is a specialized surgeon and earns ~$1.5m. I always tell our kids they have to work hard because we are UMC. We can provide them a good childhood and pay for their college and education but they have to work to support themselves and provide a good life for their future families.

We will be able to pay for college, grad school, wedding and a down payment on their house. Maybe their kids’ educations. They will not be trust fund babies who can afford not to work.

🙄🙄🙄

I believe it. If you do t want your kids to have to work a day in their lives, you need to be able to give them 10-20 million in their twenties.

consistently earning 1.5 a year should put you in a position to do that if you choose to (unless you are also spending 1.5 a year)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:UMC kids are not rich. Rich kids can be lazy. The reason you are upper middle class is because you do not have generational wealth.

DH is a specialized surgeon and earns ~$1.5m. I always tell our kids they have to work hard because we are UMC. We can provide them a good childhood and pay for their college and education but they have to work to support themselves and provide a good life for their future families.

We will be able to pay for college, grad school, wedding and a down payment on their house. Maybe their kids’ educations. They will not be trust fund babies who can afford not to work.

🙄🙄🙄

I believe it. If you do t want your kids to have to work a day in their lives, you need to be able to give them 10-20 million in their twenties.

WHY would you want your kids to not to have to work??? That seems like a recipe for complete disaster.

Maybe your kid wants to be a teacher, but you want them to be able to live in the neighborhood they grew up in (or something equivalent) and to be able to send their kids to the camps that they went to and the kind of vacations that your took them on and to the caliber of college that they went to. Most would argue that there is nothing wrong with being a teacher, but absent a trust fund or a rich spouse, that kid isn't providing the same lifestyle to your grandkids that you provided for them. Some people would like to give their kids enough so that the grandkids can enjoy those things

[Anonymous]

Yes, usually if UMC parents want their kids to follow their bliss into less lucrative careers, they pay for their grandkids extracurriculars and private school or college tuition, as well as family vacations.

Source: I went to a private school with the grandkids.

[Anonymous]

UMC don't have SO much wealth that the next generation can just laze around. So they become professionals too.

This. What happens is that maybe UMC parents can leave an educational trust for grandkids, so that children who take lower paying careers can still send their kids to good schools, but unless third generation steps it up career-wise, the money is gone by the time they finish school.

[Anonymous]

This post is so amazingly stupid. You may have a medical degree, but your understanding of wealth is very flawed.

For one thing, UMC is a wide swath of people. I consider myself to be in that category but do not make nearly enough to enable my kids to live off of the money as adults. I also don’t believe that every job that’s profitable is punishing or that every job that’s not profitable is fulfilling. Your stark definitions fall into neat categories that don’t exist. You are clearly describing a particular situation of people you know, so if you want to know why they’re doing whatever it is they’re doing, you’d need to ask them.

[Anonymous]

Life is struggle. Anything else sounds boring at best, a pipe dream and trap at worst. Are there any people on DCUM living a life of leisure who think otherwise?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:UMC kids are not rich. Rich kids can be lazy. The reason you are upper middle class is because you do not have generational wealth.

DH is a specialized surgeon and earns ~$1.5m. I always tell our kids they have to work hard because we are UMC. We can provide them a good childhood and pay for their college and education but they have to work to support themselves and provide a good life for their future families.

We will be able to pay for college, grad school, wedding and a down payment on their house. Maybe their kids’ educations. They will not be trust fund babies who can afford not to work.

You are spoiling them. They will do nothing with their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want my kids to have the option to volunteer full-time or take really low paying jobs.

Sounds like you have no expectations or confidence in your kids. So they will probably end up in low paying or volunteering jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Black and brown kids are don’t have these privileges

What kind of racist comment is this?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:UMC kids are not rich. Rich kids can be lazy. The reason you are upper middle class is because you do not have generational wealth.

DH is a specialized surgeon and earns ~$1.5m. I always tell our kids they have to work hard because we are UMC. We can provide them a good childhood and pay for their college and education but they have to work to support themselves and provide a good life for their future families.

We will be able to pay for college, grad school, wedding and a down payment on their house. Maybe their kids’ educations. They will not be trust fund babies who can afford not to work.

🙄🙄🙄

I believe it. If you do t want your kids to have to work a day in their lives, you need to be able to give them 10-20 million in their twenties.

WHY would you want your kids to not to have to work??? That seems like a recipe for complete disaster.

Maybe your kid wants to be a teacher, but you want them to be able to live in the neighborhood they grew up in (or something equivalent) and to be able to send their kids to the camps that they went to and the kind of vacations that your took them on and to the caliber of college that they went to. Most would argue that there is nothing wrong with being a teacher, but absent a trust fund or a rich spouse, that kid isn't providing the same lifestyle to your grandkids that you provided for them. Some people would like to give their kids enough so that the grandkids can enjoy those things

Maybe your kid wants a simpler life, but you want to be able to control them and their grandchildren.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my medical school class, many of the kids had parents of high incomes (lawyers, doctors, engineers) end yet they embarked on an unrelenting career path with crazy hours. Same with my husbands law school class- some many children of big law partners going into big law. Why? Why would you want your kids to suffer like you did? I’d never want my kids to go through the abusive medical training- I did it so she wouldn’t need to. Not understand why a parent would want these careers for their kids.

Can't believe you are a doctor with that logic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Life is struggle. Anything else sounds boring at best, a pipe dream and trap at worst. Are there any people on DCUM living a life of leisure who think otherwise?

Almost every offspring of DCUM folks is living a life of leisure. In college, every dime I made at any job I had went straight to my college tuition and housing. Spending money? For fun? No such thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my medical school class, many of the kids had parents of high incomes (lawyers, doctors, engineers) end yet they embarked on an unrelenting career path with crazy hours. Same with my husbands law school class- some many children of big law partners going into big law. Why? Why would you want your kids to suffer like you did? I’d never want my kids to go through the abusive medical training- I did it so she wouldn’t need to. Not understand why a parent would want these careers for their kids.

Can't believe you are a doctor with that logic

I actually have the same views after going to law school. Made no sense to me why rich families were sending their children to law school to grind out 80-90 hour weeks in law firms. I went to law school to break the cycle of poverty in my family, but I'm guiding my children to more lucrative, less hellish careers like business and finance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my medical school class, many of the kids had parents of high incomes (lawyers, doctors, engineers) end yet they embarked on an unrelenting career path with crazy hours. Same with my husbands law school class- some many children of big law partners going into big law. Why? Why would you want your kids to suffer like you did? I’d never want my kids to go through the abusive medical training- I did it so she wouldn’t need to. Not understand why a parent would want these careers for their kids.

Can't believe you are a doctor with that logic

I actually have the same views after going to law school. Made no sense to me why rich families were sending their children to law school to grind out 80-90 hour weeks in law firms. I went to law school to break the cycle of poverty in my family, but I'm guiding my children to more lucrative, less hellish careers like business and finance.

Hahaha. You think the hours are better in prestige finance positions? Like investment banking, top tier private equity firms, consulting firms (MBB) or hedge funds? Nope. I've done two of these and the hours for non-partner level folks are every bit as challenging. FWIW, my parents are physicians and had hellish hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want my kids to have the option to volunteer full-time or take really low paying jobs.

Sounds like you have no expectations or confidence in your kids. So they will probably end up in low paying or volunteering jobs.

(NP) I think of my very noble PCP, getting paid six figures to write referrals and order bloodwork.

give me a break.