Upper middle class people- why don’t you want your kids to live a life of leisure?

[Anonymous]

I grew up lower middle class. Poor at times when I was very young. Things got better when my father got his college degree at age 40.

While I don't want my son to have to work super-hard, the reality is it's much easier to find a professional job that has health insurance and retirement options than something like a blue collar job or something in the gig economy. And to me, having health care coverage and retirement are the two ways to build and protect accumulated wealth. There are blue collar workers living the same life as me. Some with better houses and cars. But without the safety net, they risk losing much more than I do.

Having said that, I am accumulating wealth and I do plan to give as much of it as possible to my son so he doesn't have to work so hard. He'd love to be something like a paramedic (good choice, has both those safety nets) or mechanic (depends where he works).

This is why we should all focus on rebuilding the middle class. We focus too much on increasing safety nets for the poor and even further enriching the wealthy. And the middle class seems forgotten. To me, that's like cutting the middle rungs out of the ladder out of poverty. My family certainly depended on a robust middle class economy with all its opportunities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my medical school class, many of the kids had parents of high incomes (lawyers, doctors, engineers) end yet they embarked on an unrelenting career path with crazy hours. Same with my husbands law school class- some many children of big law partners going into big law. Why? Why would you want your kids to suffer like you did? I’d never want my kids to go through the abusive medical training- I did it so she wouldn’t need to. Not understand why a parent would want these careers for their kids.

How about your grandchildren if your kids take a less pay career?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here- I plan to save a bunch for my daughter so she can have a more chill career and still be able to build wealth on her own. I hope she picks something she enjoys and can actually love life.

How will your daughter "build wealth on her own"? Do you have any idea or plan?

[Anonymous]

Yeah well being umc means that we can give them a good life and pay for college etc but not support them and future generations forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here- I plan to save a bunch for my daughter so she can have a more chill career and still be able to build wealth on her own. I hope she picks something she enjoys and can actually love life.

How will your daughter "build wealth on her own"? Do you have any idea or plan?

Not hard to build wealth when you have zero student loans or medical debt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up lower middle class. Poor at times when I was very young. Things got better when my father got his college degree at age 40.

While I don't want my son to have to work super-hard, the reality is it's much easier to find a professional job that has health insurance and retirement options than something like a blue collar job or something in the gig economy. And to me, having health care coverage and retirement are the two ways to build and protect accumulated wealth. There are blue collar workers living the same life as me. Some with better houses and cars. But without the safety net, they risk losing much more than I do.

Having said that, I am accumulating wealth and I do plan to give as much of it as possible to my son so he doesn't have to work so hard. He'd love to be something like a paramedic (good choice, has both those safety nets) or mechanic (depends where he works).

This is why we should all focus on rebuilding the middle class. We focus too much on increasing safety nets for the poor and even further enriching the wealthy. And the middle class seems forgotten. To me, that's like cutting the middle rungs out of the ladder out of poverty. My family certainly depended on a robust middle class economy with all its opportunities.

This is a very good post

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here- I plan to save a bunch for my daughter so she can have a more chill career and still be able to build wealth on her own. I hope she picks something she enjoys and can actually love life.

It sounds like you hate your job. Have you considered improving your own life by finding something you like more? If you are able to save a bunch, you are able to take a paycut to improve your day to day existence. Your daughter can have a good life without you being a martyr.

[Anonymous]

I intend to help my daughter pursue a career she enjoys, regardless of income potential. I agree that she needs something stable with access to retirement vehicles and health insurance, but there is no reason she has to do something she hates "for the money." We are not uber wealthy, but chose to have one child and low expenses. We expect to have more than we need when we retire.

[Anonymous]

Type A and ambitious people tend to have ambitious kids with good work ethic. It’s not that the kids need to necessarily work as hard as their parents, it’s that they are naturally disposed to it because their parents have taught them how to work hard. Also many kids follow a similar path to their parents because that’s where they have mentors and connections.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting you describe medical training as abusive. Do you think you are a martyr or something?

It is well known that medical training has insane hours requirements. Not uncommon to work over 100 hour weeks constantly with no break. A recent study found that pregnant residents more likely to have miscarriages and bad birth outcomes due to the hour. Most people know this.

[Anonymous]

I had trouble staying in jobs, majority of my employers had up or out culture, so they push me out of the team in 2-3 years. I move on to better jobs and more money, but staying in one familiar position was never an option for me.

[Anonymous]

We are both in biglaw and certainly encourage “big” jobs. I don’t want my kids to suffer downward mobility. Some of my peers are downwardly mobile and it seems brutal to not be able to give your kids what you were given.

[Anonymous]

We want DS to have a work ethic and not be a stereotypical trust fund kid. Now, he will have the advantage that he can do whatever he wants and not worry about money. If that's a doctor, ok. If that's a non profit? OK.

It sounds like you got into medicine to become rich. Which is fine. But there are people who go into it because it's actually what they want to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm lazy as hell and have found a career path that allows me to be in the top 2% (not quite top 1%) wrt to personal income. I have absolutely no problem with my kids lazing around as long as they can live comfortably. However, it's hard to do, and every couple of decades that professions/jobs where it is possible shift with the economy and technology

I’m lazy as hell too so tell me this career path, I must know!

[Anonymous]

Idle UMC kids don't have enough money to remain idle forever but plenty of money to fall into real bad drug habits etc. You don't get them working then you're going to be paying for top notch criminal defense attorneys at some point.