Is anyone else's kid ignoring all the onboarding info?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine is in the same place, and I suspect the previous posters suggesting your child is not ready for college don't have older teens. They will get crummy housing and not their first choice of classes, and hopefully, they'll learn. It's ok and will be ok. Promise.

Without prompting my senior DS has:

--Signed up for a 2-day orientation. He asked about our vacation dates, scheduled it, and took the days off work since it's all day. I have no idea what date it is, and he told me he has prereqs for it that he needs to do

--Found a roommate on IG and applied for housing. We didn't talk about cost because he wanted a hall dorm so he doesn't have to clean a bathroom, so I assume it's the cheapest.

--Been coordinating with friends who are going to school to compare notes and ask questions.

--Forwarded me a payment plan email. I did say earlier that I needed all financial info promptly.

He's told me all of this. I did ask him to look up AP credits and said that I was concerned that he wouldn't have graduate in 4 years, prompting it to cost more. He got annoyed, said he would graduate in 4 years, and that he would handle it (i.e. the details of AP). That's been the extent of my involvement, for comparison's sake.

Your kid sounds great. You sound a little annoying (this list, e.g.).

-A mom of a kid who is mostly together, but sorta still not back to fighting form after months of horizontal inertia. Fingers crossed she'll pop up and

-- start
-- doing
-- things
-- like
-- this!

I guess it just proves you can have a great kid even when you're annoying! It's not easy to take a backseat, but it's good for both of us. I am kinda proud of both of us because I don't want to be the parent who is all up in my kid's email. I have been working over the last few years to make a life that's focused on me as my kids are launching.

Snarky PP here coming back to say- I take it back. You sound like you made a conscious effort to step back and I am just jealous. Good for you both and may ALL our kiddos do alright once they finally launch! 👍

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids in that age don't check emails. They just don't. It's something they have to learn to do and you reminding them is part of that process. They will some snafu down the line because of not checking email that will reinforce what you said, but missing out on an important college deadline is not the snafu you want.

OP, sit her down have a come to Jesus meeting and help her get through this. You're doing fine.

+1,000. My DC is a great student, and he handles everything related to his HS work completely on his own. Everything from school is on Google docs and Blackbaud. He’s totally on top of things. But he will not use email. We’re just starting the application process and I have to remind him to check email constantly. I would not be surprised at all to be in OP’s position next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of the kids have already identified roomates and signed up for rooms. If there is summer orientation, it is likely those sign ups have come and gone. Class sign ups? Those may have passed too.

If she isn't connecting with the other incoming freshmen via social media and taking care of the basic minimum of first year of college and housing, then it is will be rougher going come September.

While this may be true for your DC’s school, it isn’t for many. Our DS is attending a top private university where none of this occurs until after June 1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine is in the same place, and I suspect the previous posters suggesting your child is not ready for college don't have older teens. They will get crummy housing and not their first choice of classes, and hopefully, they'll learn. It's ok and will be ok. Promise.

Without prompting my senior DS has:

--Signed up for a 2-day orientation. He asked about our vacation dates, scheduled it, and took the days off work since it's all day. I have no idea what date it is, and he told me he has prereqs for it that he needs to do

--Found a roommate on IG and applied for housing. We didn't talk about cost because he wanted a hall dorm so he doesn't have to clean a bathroom, so I assume it's the cheapest.

--Been coordinating with friends who are going to school to compare notes and ask questions.

--Forwarded me a payment plan email. I did say earlier that I needed all financial info promptly.

He's told me all of this. I did ask him to look up AP credits and said that I was concerned that he wouldn't have graduate in 4 years, prompting it to cost more. He got annoyed, said he would graduate in 4 years, and that he would handle it (i.e. the details of AP). That's been the extent of my involvement, for comparison's sake.

My kid is doing a double graduation next week...high school and college. She coordinated it all by herself and is so smart she took all of her classes last month. All without prompting. Oh and she has a novel coming out at the end of the summer. Look for it...expected to be on the bestseller list. I'm such an amazing parent.

[Anonymous]

I think it's unfair to compare kids who have been diagnosed with ADHD, depression, or anxiety with kids who haven't.

This thread did inspire me to ask my kid (who at once point stopped checking his portal and missed some acceptances, luckily to colleges he didn't want to attend, but get it together, kid) if he was keeping tabs on what his college was asking him for. And, thank goodness, he was able to give me a timetable of what was happening when, so now I can back off again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the kids have already identified roomates and signed up for rooms. If there is summer orientation, it is likely those sign ups have come and gone. Class sign ups? Those may have passed too.

If she isn't connecting with the other incoming freshmen via social media and taking care of the basic minimum of first year of college and housing, then it is will be rougher going come September.

While this may be true for your DC’s school, it isn’t for many. Our DS is attending a top private university where none of this occurs until after June 1.

+1. Only just starting to receive to-do lists now from our SLAC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the kids have already identified roomates and signed up for rooms. If there is summer orientation, it is likely those sign ups have come and gone. Class sign ups? Those may have passed too.

If she isn't connecting with the other incoming freshmen via social media and taking care of the basic minimum of first year of college and housing, then it is will be rougher going come September.

While this may be true for your DC’s school, it isn’t for many. Our DS is attending a top private university where none of this occurs until after June 1.

Schools vary with regard to timing and requirements.

Why was it necessary for you to insert "a top private university?" That speak volumes about how you think of yourself and walk around the world.

You sound like an insufferable snob. I hope we never meet IRL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine is in the same place, and I suspect the previous posters suggesting your child is not ready for college don't have older teens. They will get crummy housing and not their first choice of classes, and hopefully, they'll learn. It's ok and will be ok. Promise.

Without prompting my senior DS has:

--Signed up for a 2-day orientation. He asked about our vacation dates, scheduled it, and took the days off work since it's all day. I have no idea what date it is, and he told me he has prereqs for it that he needs to do

--Found a roommate on IG and applied for housing. We didn't talk about cost because he wanted a hall dorm so he doesn't have to clean a bathroom, so I assume it's the cheapest.

--Been coordinating with friends who are going to school to compare notes and ask questions.

--Forwarded me a payment plan email. I did say earlier that I needed all financial info promptly.

He's told me all of this. I did ask him to look up AP credits and said that I was concerned that he wouldn't have graduate in 4 years, prompting it to cost more. He got annoyed, said he would graduate in 4 years, and that he would handle it (i.e. the details of AP). That's been the extent of my involvement, for comparison's sake.

My kid is doing a double graduation next week...high school and college. She coordinated it all by herself and is so smart she took all of her classes last month. All without prompting. Oh and she has a novel coming out at the end of the summer. Look for it...expected to be on the bestseller list. I'm such an amazing parent.

Thanks--it was much needed.

[Anonymous]

All of our kids have strengths AND weaknesses.
Stay humble people.

The star you gloat over may be that kid who cheats or uses drugs or rapes his dates or is a lousy spouse.

No child is really golden. So, be humble when they succeed, because your time will come...