Is anyone else's kid ignoring all the onboarding info?

[Anonymous]

OK but you have always provided her with a place to live, right? And meals to eat? She doesn’t seem to get that if she doesn’t fill out this paperwork, she will have no place to live and will not have a meal plan. She’s going to wind up in some crappy housing. And no classes and have to take the classes no one else likes. She needs to get her shit together, now.

[Anonymous]

It’s anxiety.

This is a lot. Big changes and decisions and it’s scary. She’s not trying to be irresponsible or flippant, she’s paralyzed and avoiding the discomfort of dealing with all these overwhelming choices and facing the reality that her life is changing big time in the fall. I would guess she probably needs more support, not less, and it’s not the time to back off and let her sink or swim and deal with the consequences.

[Anonymous]

This is the problem with “having your kid apply to” or “sending your kid” to college X. The kids often fail to warm up to it.

[Anonymous]

And no, not all schools are done with that stuff (roommates, classes, etc). My child's college has online orientations now (just opened last week), at the end of which you are assigned a counselor and get to start picking classes. OP, do not let other parents cause you anxiety! Sure there are always somenover-achieving students (and bat-sh*t-crazy-parents), and the rest of the world, including your child and mine, are just fine.

[Anonymous]

Ok, so sit down with her with a calendar and go thru each email. Document the deadline information. Insist that she go through her emails 2X a week which I would verify. Just so you are aware, from here on out, all billing (bursar’s office) will come to your student’s email. Make sure they forward that information to you ASAP. This isn’t helicoptering, this is parenting. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

My kid is starting GMU next fall. The orientation communication has been very uneven and confusing so far. I can’t find even basic information on the website without a lot of struggle. My child does have executive function struggles and had a sadly limited college search process last year, so The kid doesn’t feel fully committed to GMU.

So we’ve checked in once a week with the kid on emails. I think in normal years the high school peer group would be the normal group to motivate a child, but this is a very strange year.

[Anonymous]

Check and see if there is a facebook group for "X university families." There may also be separate groups for "X university class of 2025 parents" of even "X university Y dorm parents"

My kids were also not great at checking email and I ended up finding out information through other parents in the facebook groups.
Also, she should make sure to check her spam box frequently. My son missed out on something he really wanted to do (a fun event, but not something essential) because the notification went to his spam box.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of the kids have already identified roomates and signed up for rooms. If there is summer orientation, it is likely those sign ups have come and gone. Class sign ups? Those may have passed too.

If she isn't connecting with the other incoming freshmen via social media and taking care of the basic minimum of first year of college and housing, then it is will be rougher going come September.

OP: yes, we are in the same place. My son is going to a top 25 university and is excited, but his mind is still on finishing HS and getting a little bit of a break after 6 straight years of a constant grind. When I remind him, he checks. And in fact, there have not been any emails about housing, payments, classes, or anything like that. So the PPs need to calm down. Is it normal to be on top of it and check emails consistently without being reminded? Sure. But it is also normal to still be on high school time. She'll get there once HS is behind her.

[Anonymous]

It’s too many email accounts. Especially with distance learning, kids have to keep track of so much. Some of them have a hard time.

This is normal.

[Anonymous]

Agree there’s an element of anxiety, agree that email it’s just not something teenagers respond to very well even though we all know they have to learn how to do it because the world still relies on it. As a PP mentioned I also joined the parent Facebook group (pros and cons to that choice) which was very helpful when communications went out, deadlines approaching. That allowed me to stay aware of the essentials without asking her all the time. My DD has been pretty decent about staying on top of that but at some points just hasn’t checked her email for various reasons so it’s been a nice back up info source

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We sat down and had some difficult conversations. Our DD also got in ED and there wasn’t much communication from the school, but she joined the group chat. Now there is a lot to do, and it has to be done right for the amount we are paying. I’m happy to help talk through things but she needs to check at least twice per week. Basically, I put the fear of God into her by saying that if too many things fall through the cracks, we would pull the plug and she can go to community college.

Daily. WTH is this twice a week thing? Time for the kid to grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s too many email accounts. Especially with distance learning, kids have to keep track of so much. Some of them have a hard time.

This is normal.

You know, there are kids in Palestine who are being bombed right now who are managing the same thing.

'hard time'

[Anonymous]

I am in the parent group for FSU. There are multiple posts from kids who didn’t sign up for orientation as they were told to, and the university rescinded admission. Parents appealed and it was too bad, so sad.

[Anonymous]

I don't believe the previous poster. And way to many parents here need to land their helicopters. Your kids will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. ugh. I shouldn't have checked back on this before bedtime, now I'm worried! (Although I'm glad that there is a little hope from some PPs.)

Okay well, to answer a PPs question, I've never micromanaged her schoolwork and she gets good grades. And she lined up her summer job today. So wth is going on; why is she not looking at these emails? Is it anxiety?

(Well it's definitely anxiety on MY part, but I mean, why is this happening?)

I’m 36 and after a year+ of this pandemic I’ve started to develop anxiety and depression and am also avoiding things. Maybe she’s scared college won’t happen? I mean did senior year happen for her? We are all traumatized to some extent after this year.