Dating A Doctor..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being married to a Dr: Last year we had three Christmas parties to attend. My DH was supposed to be off. For each one, I was all dressed up, babysitter there, waiting on him. He never came home. Cases get delayed, patients do poorly, emergencies happen and shift around things. Change Christmas party to school musical, important meeting, appointment. In short, it is an unpredictable life and you need to be flexible

He needs to call you if he’s going to be that late, especially if you two have plans. I wonder if he is very anxious at work and forgets about other things, like his wife waiting at home.
My husband has worked many Christmases, but there have been only a handful of times in the last decade that he has been hours late without texting or calling to let me know. I hope that things get better with you two!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being married to a Dr: Last year we had three Christmas parties to attend. My DH was supposed to be off. For each one, I was all dressed up, babysitter there, waiting on him. He never came home. Cases get delayed, patients do poorly, emergencies happen and shift around things. Change Christmas party to school musical, important meeting, appointment. In short, it is an unpredictable life and you need to be flexible

He needs to call you if he’s going to be that late, especially if you two have plans. I wonder if he is very anxious at work and forgets about other things, like his wife waiting at home.
My husband has worked many Christmases, but there have been only a handful of times in the last decade that he has been hours late without texting or calling to let me know. I hope that things get better with you two!

I never said said he was "hours late." Obviously he does call of there is a foreseeable delay or a nurse calls if he can't. But often plan are already underway , I've started getting ready, and so on. But thanks for your faux concern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being married to a Dr: Last year we had three Christmas parties to attend. My DH was supposed to be off. For each one, I was all dressed up, babysitter there, waiting on him. He never came home. Cases get delayed, patients do poorly, emergencies happen and shift around things. Change Christmas party to school musical, important meeting, appointment. In short, it is an unpredictable life and you need to be flexible

He needs to call you if he’s going to be that late, especially if you two have plans. I wonder if he is very anxious at work and forgets about other things, like his wife waiting at home.
My husband has worked many Christmases, but there have been only a handful of times in the last decade that he has been hours late without texting or calling to let me know. I hope that things get better with you two!

I never said said he was "hours late." Obviously he does call of there is a foreseeable delay or a nurse calls if he can't. But often plan are already underway , I've started getting ready, and so on. But thanks for your faux concern.

Sorry. I misunderstood.

[Anonymous]

What’s wrong with working PT or being a SAHM?

Raising children is an important and interesting job. And it doesn’t last forever, maybe 10-15 years of your entire working life.

You can always go back to full time work, particularly if you work in healthcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s wrong with working PT or being a SAHM?

Raising children is an important and interesting job. And it doesn’t last forever, maybe 10-15 years of your entire working life.

You can always go back to full time work, particularly if you work in healthcare.

She doesn't want that, it sounds like she has a demanding job herself. Op, maybe you are feeling competitive with this guy...you seem concerned about him sort of having the career trump card and you getting the short stick....as opposed to viewing it as something the two of you would work out collaboratively as a team when the time comes. Or begin to talk about together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dating three months and you’re already planning your love together? He’s the one who needs to run.

That's my thinking. Besides that, OP is looking for a husband who works 9 - 5.

OP here. I’m not looking for a guy that works those hours. I’m fine with longer hours. I just want someone who doesn’t work weekends and holidays. I want a man who will be an involved father.

OP, if he’s working weekends when the kids are preschoolers, he will be home during the week. What a great way for the kids to have parental involvement spread out. When they’re older, he’ll probably have better hours.

OP, I was incredibly picky and got married later because of it. This would not have been a dealbreaker for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s wrong with working PT or being a SAHM?

Raising children is an important and interesting job. And it doesn’t last forever, maybe 10-15 years of your entire working life.

You can always go back to full time work, particularly if you work in healthcare.

OP here. I worked really hard for my career and do not want to throw it away. I’m fine working PT but I think it’s important to protect my career and income. It’s important to me to have an income in the event something happens. Being a SAHM isn’t for everyone. I babysat for many years while in school and while sometimes it was fun, most of it was boring. I’m not very creative. I’m not cut out for being a SAHM. I love my career and think it’s amazing.

Not all healthcare jobs let you go back without updating schooling for your profession or doing things to keep your license current.

[Anonymous]

If you don’t want to date him I’m positive there is a long line of people who do... anesthesiologist make big money!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you don’t want to date him I’m positive there is a long line of people who do... anesthesiologist make big money!

Um no, they do not make big money. Their hours are ok compared to other doctors, but salary takes a big hit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s wrong with working PT or being a SAHM?

Raising children is an important and interesting job. And it doesn’t last forever, maybe 10-15 years of your entire working life.

You can always go back to full time work, particularly if you work in healthcare.

OP here. I worked really hard for my career and do not want to throw it away. I’m fine working PT but I think it’s important to protect my career and income. It’s important to me to have an income in the event something happens. Being a SAHM isn’t for everyone. I babysat for many years while in school and while sometimes it was fun, most of it was boring. I’m not very creative. I’m not cut out for being a SAHM. I love my career and think it’s amazing.

Not all healthcare jobs let you go back without updating schooling for your profession or doing things to keep your license current.

It’s funny to me that you insist on having an involved father like you’re so into the family thing then admit you find being with kids to be boring.

So work PT and get a nanny or move on. Find a guy that actually meets your criteria, so you don’t end up divorced and with split custody down the road.
Quit the drama.

[Anonymous]

This poster has exceeded my capacity for empathy unfortunately. And i really tried. Op, you received thoughtful feedback but you don't seem particularly thoughtful or mature yourself. 1. You barely know the guy, I would not make any assumptions that he is the one. 2. You sound incapable of grasping the nuances involved in dual income couples with demanding careers and how they make it work. You heard from people in the trenches about the complexities. You persist in reiterating what you want, which is to protect your career. Based on these responses you can concl7de there is no stereotype of the doctor's wife. That's the feedback. Some wives are sahm, others have demanding careers too. You seem to have wanted a simplistic, stereotypical response. But you did not get it because there is no one way it goes down.

[Anonymous]

You are focusing on a potential issue that may never come to pass, aka putting the cart before the horse. You have been in this for three months. You sound like a teenager.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s wrong with working PT or being a SAHM?

Raising children is an important and interesting job. And it doesn’t last forever, maybe 10-15 years of your entire working life.

You can always go back to full time work, particularly if you work in healthcare.

OP here. I worked really hard for my career and do not want to throw it away. I’m fine working PT but I think it’s important to protect my career and income. It’s important to me to have an income in the event something happens. Being a SAHM isn’t for everyone. I babysat for many years while in school and while sometimes it was fun, most of it was boring. I’m not very creative. I’m not cut out for being a SAHM. I love my career and think it’s amazing.

Not all healthcare jobs let you go back without updating schooling for your profession or doing things to keep your license current.

Maybe children are not in the cards?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This poster has exceeded my capacity for empathy unfortunately. And i really tried. Op, you received thoughtful feedback but you don't seem particularly thoughtful or mature yourself. 1. You barely know the guy, I would not make any assumptions that he is the one. 2. You sound incapable of grasping the nuances involved in dual income couples with demanding careers and how they make it work. You heard from people in the trenches about the complexities. You persist in reiterating what you want, which is to protect your career. Based on these responses you can concl7de there is no stereotype of the doctor's wife. That's the feedback. Some wives are sahm, others have demanding careers too. You seem to have wanted a simplistic, stereotypical response. But you did not get it because there is no one way it goes down.

Excellent response.
I’ll add just one suggestion to OP: Get yourself a cat. Boom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This poster has exceeded my capacity for empathy unfortunately. And i really tried. Op, you received thoughtful feedback but you don't seem particularly thoughtful or mature yourself. 1. You barely know the guy, I would not make any assumptions that he is the one. 2. You sound incapable of grasping the nuances involved in dual income couples with demanding careers and how they make it work. You heard from people in the trenches about the complexities. You persist in reiterating what you want, which is to protect your career. Based on these responses you can concl7de there is no stereotype of the doctor's wife. That's the feedback. Some wives are sahm, others have demanding careers too. You seem to have wanted a simplistic, stereotypical response. But you did not get it because there is no one way it goes down.

Excellent response.
I’ll add just one suggestion to OP: Get yourself a cat. Boom.

Ha! That was good.