This is so isolating - I don’t have any mom friends anymore

[Anonymous]

OP, sorry you are getting all of these extremely rude answers. You just have to take advantage of the last few nice weeks and get out there! Mask up and head to playgrounds and state and regional parks with your kids. There are so many great things to do at this time of year! On the playground, your kids will naturally find other playmates, and chat with those parents, and it will evolve into meeting them regularly. Honestly, I know so many people at the playgrounds now, bc it is always the same people who are willing/desperate/interested in getting their kids outside - you will see the same people over and over. It sounds like you need a new friend crew anyway, so just go for it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These responses do not at all reflect what I see in my neighborhood (Capitol Hill). The school playgrounds are full of preschoolers and their parents, all masked. Lincoln Park on a beautiful day has dozens of groups of distanced people sitting in circles and picnicking. In my own circle, everyone is taking Covid seriously but no one is totally isolating. We meet in small groups, wear masks, keep our distance, and are always outside. And we get tested through the city whenever there’s the slightest concern.

I don’t know why your post brought out such mean responses. In my experience, most people are not still completely isolating unless they have a very vulnerable family member. I don’t know how to advise you, though, because I’m surprised your friends are being so strict.

Note that all the mean responses were the first ones, written by people who were obviously sitting on their phones or computers with nothing else to do...

The more rational posts came later, written by people who aren't glued to their screens because they're actually living their lives, albeit with precautions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These responses do not at all reflect what I see in my neighborhood (Capitol Hill). The school playgrounds are full of preschoolers and their parents, all masked. Lincoln Park on a beautiful day has dozens of groups of distanced people sitting in circles and picnicking. In my own circle, everyone is taking Covid seriously but no one is totally isolating. We meet in small groups, wear masks, keep our distance, and are always outside. And we get tested through the city whenever there’s the slightest concern.

I don’t know why your post brought out such mean responses. In my experience, most people are not still completely isolating unless they have a very vulnerable family member. I don’t know how to advise you, though, because I’m surprised your friends are being so strict.

Note that all the mean responses were the first ones, written by people who were obviously sitting on their phones or computers with nothing else to do...

The more rational posts came later, written by people who aren't glued to their screens because they're actually living their lives, albeit with precautions.

Ha! This!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, your friends are right. The pandemic is not over. People need to follow the rules by STAYING HOME. Not even socially distant stuff. But you can still work.

My kids are in school. So are many of my friends kids. So no, we are not STAYING HOME. You need a Xanax or something. Seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids and I don’t exist to entertain you, or to make you satisfied with your life choices. IDGAF if you agree with my safety boundaries or not.

We’re outdoor socializing with a very small group of people. Sorry you don’t make the cut.

DCUM’s finest, right here.

Seriously! What is wrong with you people?!?

[Anonymous]

OP, just throwing a different perspective out there -- it's possible some of your SAHM friends are just tired of being around people all the time and don't want to socialize at all. Pre-covid, I WAH part time while my child was in part-time childcare, and then was home with her the rest of the time. So I was home most of the time, but by myself, and even when my child was home, sometimes she'd be napping or playing on her own.

Now I'm WAH, my DH is also WAH full-time, and our kid was out of childcare for 6 full months (finally back in a couple days a week, thank god).

I love my husband and kid but I am so tired of being around people. All I want is alone time. I miss my mornings at home alone so much. I do not have much energy for socializing with other friends out of the house, less because of Covid fears (I'm fine just wearing a mask and staying outside), but more because I'm fried and just want to be alone. I'm an introvert and this is way too much togetherness for me.

I can imagine that I would feel differently if DH was working out of the house. But he's not, so I don't. Maybe some of your SAHM friends are like me, and just don't have anything left for socializing after spending all day every day with their families cooped up at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, sorry you are getting all of these extremely rude answers. You just have to take advantage of the last few nice weeks and get out there! Mask up and head to playgrounds and state and regional parks with your kids. There are so many great things to do at this time of year! On the playground, your kids will naturally find other playmates, and chat with those parents, and it will evolve into meeting them regularly. Honestly, I know so many people at the playgrounds now, bc it is always the same people who are willing/desperate/interested in getting their kids outside - you will see the same people over and over. It sounds like you need a new friend crew anyway, so just go for it!

You know what's rude? Taking a polite "no, I'm sorry, we're not comfortable with that yet" and running to DCUM with it. What's rude is taking someone's "no" response to any invitation and chewing on it like a dog with a bone.

It's fine to invite. It's also fine to decline, for ANY reason. Nobody owes you entertainment, social time, or affirmation of your boundaries and choices.

When one friend says "no," I either move on with my plans with just my nuclear family, or I invite someone else. I don't stew. I don't make up little back stories about how overly cautious they are, or why they will hang out with their local cousins outdoors, but not me. I move on with my day.

Seriously, honestly asking: how do you not just...move on with your day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, sorry you are getting all of these extremely rude answers. You just have to take advantage of the last few nice weeks and get out there! Mask up and head to playgrounds and state and regional parks with your kids. There are so many great things to do at this time of year! On the playground, your kids will naturally find other playmates, and chat with those parents, and it will evolve into meeting them regularly. Honestly, I know so many people at the playgrounds now, bc it is always the same people who are willing/desperate/interested in getting their kids outside - you will see the same people over and over. It sounds like you need a new friend crew anyway, so just go for it!

You know what's rude? Taking a polite "no, I'm sorry, we're not comfortable with that yet" and running to DCUM with it. What's rude is taking someone's "no" response to any invitation and chewing on it like a dog with a bone.

It's fine to invite. It's also fine to decline, for ANY reason. Nobody owes you entertainment, social time, or affirmation of your boundaries and choices.

When one friend says "no," I either move on with my plans with just my nuclear family, or I invite someone else. I don't stew. I don't make up little back stories about how overly cautious they are, or why they will hang out with their local cousins outdoors, but not me. I move on with my day.

Seriously, honestly asking: how do you not just...move on with your day?

Months of loneliness are terrible. You can't just ... move on when there's no one to move on to.

You are attacking OP when you didn't bother to read her post.

[Anonymous]

i don't understand everyone piling on OP. I live in the DCurbs and life has somewhat returned to normal. fortunately my kids are in catholic school, so there's that. they have soccer with proper precautions. we're going to games. we go to the park and the kids play -- there are plenty of other families out there playing too. we've gone to two apple/pumpkin farms and those were busy too (75% were wearing masks, as were we.) we don't go to restaurants and we don't socialize in large groups. i only know of two families who are still hunkering down -- one has a family member with a heart issue and the other family is a little dramatic.

OP -- I agree with an above post. just go on with your day. go to a farm with just you and your kids. go do a picnic. It sounds like you need new friends!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, just throwing a different perspective out there -- it's possible some of your SAHM friends are just tired of being around people all the time and don't want to socialize at all. Pre-covid, I WAH part time while my child was in part-time childcare, and then was home with her the rest of the time. So I was home most of the time, but by myself, and even when my child was home, sometimes she'd be napping or playing on her own.

Now I'm WAH, my DH is also WAH full-time, and our kid was out of childcare for 6 full months (finally back in a couple days a week, thank god).

I love my husband and kid but I am so tired of being around people. All I want is alone time. I miss my mornings at home alone so much. I do not have much energy for socializing with other friends out of the house, less because of Covid fears (I'm fine just wearing a mask and staying outside), but more because I'm fried and just want to be alone. I'm an introvert and this is way too much togetherness for me.

I can imagine that I would feel differently if DH was working out of the house. But he's not, so I don't. Maybe some of your SAHM friends are like me, and just don't have anything left for socializing after spending all day every day with their families cooped up at home.

This is an excellent point. Thank you for this perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, sorry you are getting all of these extremely rude answers. You just have to take advantage of the last few nice weeks and get out there! Mask up and head to playgrounds and state and regional parks with your kids. There are so many great things to do at this time of year! On the playground, your kids will naturally find other playmates, and chat with those parents, and it will evolve into meeting them regularly. Honestly, I know so many people at the playgrounds now, bc it is always the same people who are willing/desperate/interested in getting their kids outside - you will see the same people over and over. It sounds like you need a new friend crew anyway, so just go for it!

You know what's rude? Taking a polite "no, I'm sorry, we're not comfortable with that yet" and running to DCUM with it. What's rude is taking someone's "no" response to any invitation and chewing on it like a dog with a bone.

It's fine to invite. It's also fine to decline, for ANY reason. Nobody owes you entertainment, social time, or affirmation of your boundaries and choices.

When one friend says "no," I either move on with my plans with just my nuclear family, or I invite someone else. I don't stew. I don't make up little back stories about how overly cautious they are, or why they will hang out with their local cousins outdoors, but not me. I move on with my day.

Seriously, honestly asking: how do you not just...move on with your day?

Months of loneliness are terrible. You can't just ... move on when there's no one to move on to.

You are attacking OP when you didn't bother to read her post.

I suspect it's because OP's post, whether intended that way or now, came off as exasperated and accusatory, rather than lost and lonely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, just throwing a different perspective out there -- it's possible some of your SAHM friends are just tired of being around people all the time and don't want to socialize at all. Pre-covid, I WAH part time while my child was in part-time childcare, and then was home with her the rest of the time. So I was home most of the time, but by myself, and even when my child was home, sometimes she'd be napping or playing on her own.

Now I'm WAH, my DH is also WAH full-time, and our kid was out of childcare for 6 full months (finally back in a couple days a week, thank god).

I love my husband and kid but I am so tired of being around people. All I want is alone time. I miss my mornings at home alone so much. I do not have much energy for socializing with other friends out of the house, less because of Covid fears (I'm fine just wearing a mask and staying outside), but more because I'm fried and just want to be alone. I'm an introvert and this is way too much togetherness for me.

I can imagine that I would feel differently if DH was working out of the house. But he's not, so I don't. Maybe some of your SAHM friends are like me, and just don't have anything left for socializing after spending all day every day with their families cooped up at home.

This is an excellent point. Thank you for this perspective.

That is a much kinder and more useful response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, sorry you are getting all of these extremely rude answers. You just have to take advantage of the last few nice weeks and get out there! Mask up and head to playgrounds and state and regional parks with your kids. There are so many great things to do at this time of year! On the playground, your kids will naturally find other playmates, and chat with those parents, and it will evolve into meeting them regularly. Honestly, I know so many people at the playgrounds now, bc it is always the same people who are willing/desperate/interested in getting their kids outside - you will see the same people over and over. It sounds like you need a new friend crew anyway, so just go for it!

You know what's rude? Taking a polite "no, I'm sorry, we're not comfortable with that yet" and running to DCUM with it. What's rude is taking someone's "no" response to any invitation and chewing on it like a dog with a bone.

It's fine to invite. It's also fine to decline, for ANY reason. Nobody owes you entertainment, social time, or affirmation of your boundaries and choices.

When one friend says "no," I either move on with my plans with just my nuclear family, or I invite someone else. I don't stew. I don't make up little back stories about how overly cautious they are, or why they will hang out with their local cousins outdoors, but not me. I move on with my day.

Seriously, honestly asking: how do you not just...move on with your day?

Months of loneliness are terrible. You can't just ... move on when there's no one to move on to.

You are attacking OP when you didn't bother to read her post.

There are online ways to start connecting with people that can turn into real-life plans. I’ve moved states and started from scratch three times. Go to the park. Know who you will meet there? People comfortable going to the park.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, sorry you are getting all of these extremely rude answers. You just have to take advantage of the last few nice weeks and get out there! Mask up and head to playgrounds and state and regional parks with your kids. There are so many great things to do at this time of year! On the playground, your kids will naturally find other playmates, and chat with those parents, and it will evolve into meeting them regularly. Honestly, I know so many people at the playgrounds now, bc it is always the same people who are willing/desperate/interested in getting their kids outside - you will see the same people over and over. It sounds like you need a new friend crew anyway, so just go for it!

You know what's rude? Taking a polite "no, I'm sorry, we're not comfortable with that yet" and running to DCUM with it. What's rude is taking someone's "no" response to any invitation and chewing on it like a dog with a bone.

It's fine to invite. It's also fine to decline, for ANY reason. Nobody owes you entertainment, social time, or affirmation of your boundaries and choices.

When one friend says "no," I either move on with my plans with just my nuclear family, or I invite someone else. I don't stew. I don't make up little back stories about how overly cautious they are, or why they will hang out with their local cousins outdoors, but not me. I move on with my day.

Seriously, honestly asking: how do you not just...move on with your day?

Months of loneliness are terrible. You can't just ... move on when there's no one to move on to.

You are attacking OP when you didn't bother to read her post.

I suspect it's because OP's post, whether intended that way or now, came off as exasperated and accusatory, rather than lost and lonely.

Yup. And also superior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i don't understand everyone piling on OP. I live in the DCurbs and life has somewhat returned to normal. fortunately my kids are in catholic school, so there's that. they have soccer with proper precautions. we're going to games. we go to the park and the kids play -- there are plenty of other families out there playing too. we've gone to two apple/pumpkin farms and those were busy too (75% were wearing masks, as were we.) we don't go to restaurants and we don't socialize in large groups. i only know of two families who are still hunkering down -- one has a family member with a heart issue and the other family is a little dramatic.

OP -- I agree with an above post. just go on with your day. go to a farm with just you and your kids. go do a picnic. It sounds like you need new friends!

It's OP's attitude.

The "content" and "holed up" choice of words reveal that OP thinks that her friends are somehow wrong/weird because of their unwillingness to socialize with her during these times. There is no right or wrong with this pandemic. People have different levels of comfort.

If OP were just venting about missing her friends, she would receive a different response. Her post acheives 2 things: 1) venting about both her loneliness and missing her friends and 2) looking down on her friend's choices/level of comfort. She should be more sympathetic about the latter.