This is so isolating - I don’t have any mom friends anymore

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The responses here seem extreme. Op is talking about outdoor activities like biking or a picnic. Everyone I know has been doing these things since about June, including my family. I meet up with friends weekly outdoors and we keep our distance.

I believe in science, I’m
Not a trumper, I think it is strange that OP can’t find any of her friends willing to do this.

Op-have you tried just meeting with a friend one on one, without kids? I find that’s easier since with the littles it can be hard to keep them away from each other and from sharing toys, etc.

This.
My kids are older - and have been biking with friends. We have met up with other families for hikes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no tone.

Stop.

This.
There is no tone in text. Any time you hear a “tone” while you are reading, it’s in your head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, sorry you are getting all of these extremely rude answers. You just have to take advantage of the last few nice weeks and get out there! Mask up and head to playgrounds and state and regional parks with your kids. There are so many great things to do at this time of year! On the playground, your kids will naturally find other playmates, and chat with those parents, and it will evolve into meeting them regularly. Honestly, I know so many people at the playgrounds now, bc it is always the same people who are willing/desperate/interested in getting their kids outside - you will see the same people over and over. It sounds like you need a new friend crew anyway, so just go for it!

You know what's rude? Taking a polite "no, I'm sorry, we're not comfortable with that yet" and running to DCUM with it. What's rude is taking someone's "no" response to any invitation and chewing on it like a dog with a bone.

It's fine to invite. It's also fine to decline, for ANY reason. Nobody owes you entertainment, social time, or affirmation of your boundaries and choices.

When one friend says "no," I either move on with my plans with just my nuclear family, or I invite someone else. I don't stew. I don't make up little back stories about how overly cautious they are, or why they will hang out with their local cousins outdoors, but not me. I move on with my day.

Seriously, honestly asking: how do you not just...move on with your day?

Months of loneliness are terrible. You can't just ... move on when there's no one to move on to.

You are attacking OP when you didn't bother to read her post.

I suspect it's because OP's post, whether intended that way or now, came off as exasperated and accusatory, rather than lost and lonely.

Yup. And also superior.

She is superior. All of her friends and these crazy posters are wrong. Meeting with friends is the right thing to do.

Oh, they are. Just not with superior-acting overbearing types that we're all happy to have the excuse to finally drop.

Yes. OP definitely needs to find other friends. Friends who aren't loony shut-ins or jerks who ghost people.

Who said anyone ghosted anyone? I never have. The fact that you took my polite and prompt "no, thank you" and ran crying to the Internet about it is your problem, not mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, sorry you are getting all of these extremely rude answers. You just have to take advantage of the last few nice weeks and get out there! Mask up and head to playgrounds and state and regional parks with your kids. There are so many great things to do at this time of year! On the playground, your kids will naturally find other playmates, and chat with those parents, and it will evolve into meeting them regularly. Honestly, I know so many people at the playgrounds now, bc it is always the same people who are willing/desperate/interested in getting their kids outside - you will see the same people over and over. It sounds like you need a new friend crew anyway, so just go for it!

You know what's rude? Taking a polite "no, I'm sorry, we're not comfortable with that yet" and running to DCUM with it. What's rude is taking someone's "no" response to any invitation and chewing on it like a dog with a bone.

It's fine to invite. It's also fine to decline, for ANY reason. Nobody owes you entertainment, social time, or affirmation of your boundaries and choices.

When one friend says "no," I either move on with my plans with just my nuclear family, or I invite someone else. I don't stew. I don't make up little back stories about how overly cautious they are, or why they will hang out with their local cousins outdoors, but not me. I move on with my day.

Seriously, honestly asking: how do you not just...move on with your day?

Months of loneliness are terrible. You can't just ... move on when there's no one to move on to.

You are attacking OP when you didn't bother to read her post.

I suspect it's because OP's post, whether intended that way or now, came off as exasperated and accusatory, rather than lost and lonely.

Yup. And also superior.

She is superior. All of her friends and these crazy posters are wrong. Meeting with friends is the right thing to do.

Oh, they are. Just not with superior-acting overbearing types that we're all happy to have the excuse to finally drop.

Yes. OP definitely needs to find other friends. Friends who aren't loony shut-ins or jerks who ghost people.

Who said anyone ghosted anyone? I never have. The fact that you took my polite and prompt "no, thank you" and ran crying to the Internet about it is your problem, not mine.

Exactly. OP needs new friends. Not you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no tone.

Stop.

This.
There is no tone in text. Any time you hear a “tone” while you are reading, it’s in your head.

Your education faiiled you. Sorry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no tone.

Stop.

This.
There is no tone in text. Any time you hear a “tone” while you are reading, it’s in your head.

Your education faiiled you. Sorry

+1. Woooowwwwwwww. Did you hear that tone, PP?

Aww, you poor thing. How about now, did you hear it now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no tone.

Stop.

This.
There is no tone in text. Any time you hear a “tone” while you are reading, it’s in your head.

Your education faiiled you. Sorry

+1. Woooowwwwwwww. Did you hear that tone, PP?

Aww, you poor thing. How about now, did you hear it now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses here seem extreme. Op is talking about outdoor activities like biking or a picnic. Everyone I know has been doing these things since about June, including my family. I meet up with friends weekly outdoors and we keep our distance.

I believe in science, I’m
Not a trumper, I think it is strange that OP can’t find any of her friends willing to do this.

Op-have you tried just meeting with a friend one on one, without kids? I find that’s easier since with the littles it can be hard to keep them away from each other and from sharing toys, etc.

She has THREE kids UNDER 5!!! How in the world do you SD bike with that? Or even play dates, she has to reliably coral 3 kids to follow SD; I suspect she isn’t great about that and assumes kids don’t transmit and outside is safe as can be.

I thought OP was looking to have mom friends. She can go biking safely with another adult.

She has no near family, WOH DH, and no childcare. So how does this work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses here seem extreme. Op is talking about outdoor activities like biking or a picnic. Everyone I know has been doing these things since about June, including my family. I meet up with friends weekly outdoors and we keep our distance.

I believe in science, I’m
Not a trumper, I think it is strange that OP can’t find any of her friends willing to do this.

Op-have you tried just meeting with a friend one on one, without kids? I find that’s easier since with the littles it can be hard to keep them away from each other and from sharing toys, etc.

She has THREE kids UNDER 5!!! How in the world do you SD bike with that? Or even play dates, she has to reliably coral 3 kids to follow SD; I suspect she isn’t great about that and assumes kids don’t transmit and outside is safe as can be.

I thought OP was looking to have mom friends. She can go biking safely with another adult.

She has no near family, WOH DH, and no childcare. So how does this work?

NP. Ever hear of weekends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no tone.

Stop.

This.
There is no tone in text. Any time you hear a “tone” while you are reading, it’s in your head.

Your education faiiled you. Sorry

+1. Woooowwwwwwww. Did you hear that tone, PP?

Aww, you poor thing. How about now, did you hear it now?

I can read these responses while imagining multiple different tones and emotions behind them. They are sarcastic, so the only emotions I know for sure you aren’t feeling are the ones you are expressing. You aren’t sad or sorry, and you aren’t feeling joy or love.
But I can read this as guilt, shame, anger, or fear.
I can read it as being shouted, said softly, or said in a mocking tone.
But all of that is in my mind. It just is. You aware missing a lot of information when you are reading, and you should be aware of that.

[Anonymous]

Move to the far out suburbs, OP. I have the opposite experience out here: we are more socially isolated than almost anyone else I know anymore and I don't think we are really that extreme. We WFH and our kids are homeschooled but we go to parks/playgrounds (masked) and/or hiking, biking, some type of outdoor activity almost every day. We meet other kids/families at playgrounds/parks or in each other's backyards and the kids play together (masked). We have been apple picking, to the pumpkin patch, to nature centers for outdoor nature classes (all masked), and we are planning on trick or treating. Most of the families I know have parents back at work and/or kids back in in-person school, indoors play dates, indoor social get togethers for adults, many kids are back to playing sports, going to dance classes or karate or whatever, swim lessons. We have been left out because we are not willing to participate in any of the indoors get togethers yet. And with the frequency that many we know are going out and doing things indoors, I'm starting to think we actually will have to restrict our activities even more because I don't feel comfortable socializing even outdoors/masked with people who are getting together with others indoors/unmasked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry you're lonely. I would not be comfortable getting together with you while you have a family member in your house working OUT of the house. I just can't take that risk.

No, I'm not happy being home every day. Yes, I miss people and socializing. But I'd never forgive myself if one of my family members (or I) died because I wanted to hang out with a friend for an hour.

I honestly just can't believe some of these responses. So you haven't seen ANYONE since mid-March? Has anyone in your family gone to the grocery store? Have your kids been outside with other kids?

You're acting like OP is a pariah because her spouse works OUT of the house, as you said. I know a ton of people whose spouses work out of the house and they are all taking a lot of precautions. I wouldn't keep my kids from going on a bike ride with their kids. You people are seriously overly extreme.

OP, I'm sorry for you, maybe you need to go to find some new friends. My family is anything but reckless or lax about the precautions we need to take but we do allow our kids to play appropriately (i.e. outside and masked) with kids whose parents work out of the house. Snobs like PP can enjoy their time inside.

No, my kids haven't. They understand that its not safe. Its not fair that her spouse works out of the house, however that is not a reason to not abide by rules that keep them safe.

Your kids seriously haven't played with other kids since mid-March in any capacity? I call BS or troll. How old are your kids? Also, it's not 100% safe for kids to play with other kids, even masked and outside, but it's also not 100% safe for kids to ride bikes and yet most parents let them do that. I just can't believe that people have children who have not seen anyone outside their immediate family for over six months. And WHY?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses here seem extreme. Op is talking about outdoor activities like biking or a picnic. Everyone I know has been doing these things since about June, including my family. I meet up with friends weekly outdoors and we keep our distance.

I believe in science, I’m
Not a trumper, I think it is strange that OP can’t find any of her friends willing to do this.

Op-have you tried just meeting with a friend one on one, without kids? I find that’s easier since with the littles it can be hard to keep them away from each other and from sharing toys, etc.

She has THREE kids UNDER 5!!! How in the world do you SD bike with that? Or even play dates, she has to reliably coral 3 kids to follow SD; I suspect she isn’t great about that and assumes kids don’t transmit and outside is safe as can be.

I thought OP was looking to have mom friends. She can go biking safely with another adult.

She has no near family, WOH DH, and no childcare. So how does this work?

Husband watches the kids for a couple hours on the weekend. Easy.

[Anonymous]

Didn’t read past the second page. Here’s what I’m doing:

Outdoor and indoor get-togethers with a small handful of families. A couple of them have a spouse or child going out to work or daycare. But they are severely limiting external contact beyond that. These are close friends and family, people I could talk on the phone for an hour with, not “mom friends” in a group text. I do have those (whom I consider acquaintances/friends of convenience) but I’m okay sacrificing their company for a few months until this is all over. I would not be comfortable sacrificing the company of my close friends and family.

And yes, I am using the pandemic to get out of hanging out with some people! Like DH’s cousin’s family who are clearly not doing any kind of social distancing at all.

[Anonymous]

Also, I agree with the suggestion upthread of driving up to New England to visit your sisters. Humans are social beings. If you don’t have close enough friends and family in your own area, then travel to them.