Anyone else sad at how their life turned out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear ya OP. Most days I’m ok, but I get in a funk every now and then (often hormone related.)

I’m divorced and watching my ex blissfully move on with the woman he cheated on me with. (They’re married and it’s been 4 years so it’s not a passing thing.) I feel stuck in my house and can’t afford the upgrades I want to do or to sell for something better. I’m not succeeding at work or with helping the kids with distance learning. I have lots of acquaintances, but no good local friends.

Usually it fades in a day or but I’ve spent the last two nights tossing and turning over it. The added exhaustion doesn’t help.

I'm in the beginning stages of this now. Everyone says "it never lasts," but I know many of these relationships do. I feel guilty that I want the father of my kids to get hit by a bus right now.

I hope you have a nice weekend and are kind to yourself.

This may sound crazy, but I wish my husband would cheat and move on. He clearly just can't stand me, but he is in our house almost 24 hours a day, with no life, no job, just luxuriating off his trust fund while I toil at work and raising the kids with little support from him. I resent, and would even go as far as say I hate, him, but cannot afford divorce in this god-awful city that he made us live in because his elitist, hateful parents live here, too. If he would just find someone else and move on, it would be the happiest day of my life. Unfortunately, he's so lazy he'll never even do that.

I could have written this, except for the trust fund part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a 50-year-old single woman, no kids, never married. I have a dog I love. I would be traveling or planning a fun trip right now. This COVID-19 situation has made me look around and see that I have no one but my dog. If something happened to me, no one but my dog would care. LoL.

Eh, being married and having kids is so overrated.

No siblings either?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a 50-year-old single woman, no kids, never married. I have a dog I love. I would be traveling or planning a fun trip right now. This COVID-19 situation has made me look around and see that I have no one but my dog. If something happened to me, no one but my dog would care. LoL.

Eh, being married and having kids is so overrated.

No siblings either?

You must have a few friends. You might be surprised at how many people do care about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only thing I am sad about is that I thought my FOO would be closer but we have gotten more distant with age. There are so many problems and the whole family is just disjointed. It seems like such a waste.

I can relate to this.

I grew up in a large close family. But after my parents died (mom especially, she was second to die)...we no longer come together. It is sad. I realize she was the linchpin.

We don't make time for each other.
We keep in touch...but don't get together.

Now one sibling just died from COVID (in NY, this spring). Since we are all older and spread around the country, we could not even convene for that.

Not at all how I pictured it would be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I never made it very far in my career and married someone who isn't very successful either. Then he become disabled (severely) We have enough to survive on but nothing like the comfortable life of so many here on DCUM. My family of origin is great though, and his siblings are great-- but everyone lives far away. His friends all abandoned him when he because disabled, and I'm no fun to be around so I don't do much with my friends. Life SUCKS for a severely disabled person. There's not much help available to be honest and what help you can get is very expensive and will wipe us out. We still have kids to put through college. I never ever thought my 50s would be spent this way.

What is the disability? I’m sorry fir your situation. If we were friends I would provide biweekly respite time for you.

Can’t talk, can barely walk, can barely use his fingers. Can still wipe his butt and spoon feed himself. Brain works fine. Pissed as hell at the world.

NP. I'm so sorry, OP, and I wish your family the best.

Is it possible for your kids to apply for college scholarships? A number of schools, especially the highly prestigious ones, have very generous financial aid.

Only if you feel comfortable sharing, how did he become disabled?

How horrible for you both. I am so sorry.
PP, not OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a great life and was so happy 6 months ago. Loved my job, great family, enough money, etc. Then COVID hit and I lost my job and was barely functional for 3 months. I’m pulling myself out of it but still no job and I would not say I’m anywhere near happy. So even for those with a seemingly great life, things can change on a dime. I would give anything to have my stable, boring life from six months ago. People keep telling me “at least you aren’t dying of COVID”. I guess that’s true but when that’s the one thing you have going for you....

Sounds like you still have a great family.

Everything can be recovered if you have those you love and your health.

I hope you find something professionally in the near future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that you should focus on your blessings. Observe and remember the moments when you are truly happy.

For example, last night I was laying on my bed with my 3 children and my husband. All of us had our own books out to read to ourselves but we were all cuddled up together.

And I thought to myself, "I love this, this is happiness, this is a perfect moment."

My happiest years were when my child was young.

Then they leave and make their own lives (as it should be, you did your job)....and life is much less joyful. You are usually less healthy, and may be alone.

I know it is on me to get happy...but I also LOVED the moments you describe. Check back with us in about 20-30 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's a FOO?

family of origin

When people refer to their “family of origin (FOO),” it is clear they have problems. Maybe get some therapy to work on your issues.

Or they are in a profession that uses this technical term to distinguish between the families we came from and the families we built. Stop jumping to conclusions.

[Anonymous]

Extremely depressed over career setbacks - places that closed/merged/lost revenue, etc. But considering that my sister died of complications from MS after struggling for many years, who am I to complain?

[Anonymous]

I wanted to be travel journalist something like a cross between Samantha Brown and Christiane Amapour with a slash of Nat GEO.

I'm not sad about how my life turned out, but I do wish I hadn't let other people talk me out of pursuing that dream.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, 51 single female, never married. I would have never guessed my life would turn out this way. I’m in such a bad place with it too. And finding that I’m envious of a lot of my friend’s lives and I’m angry and hateful.

I never achieved my goal of becoming a teacher. I did all the college and grad school, just too nervous because of my BP which causes extreme anxiety for me. I’m envious of some people too. I feel like a loser. I am working only pt. Im sorry you feel so bad. I hope you find peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What type of political videos?

Why dies it matter?

[Anonymous]

I’m very regretful I didn’t get divorced. Early on in my marriage my DH showed his true colors. He is an alcoholic who cheated on me, acted hysterical, threatened me, and made my life hell. Somehow we went to counseling and turned things mostly around. But we still don’t have similar sex drives and I don’t get along with his family.

Incredibly disappointed in myself for not thinking I deserve more than a DH who doesn’t enjoy sex with me and whose family dislikes me. Add on alcoholism and terrible social interactions that left me with few friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I never made it very far in my career and married someone who isn't very successful either. Then he become disabled (severely) We have enough to survive on but nothing like the comfortable life of so many here on DCUM. My family of origin is great though, and his siblings are great-- but everyone lives far away. His friends all abandoned him when he because disabled, and I'm no fun to be around so I don't do much with my friends. Life SUCKS for a severely disabled person. There's not much help available to be honest and what help you can get is very expensive and will wipe us out. We still have kids to put through college. I never ever thought my 50s would be spent this way.

What is the disability? I’m sorry fir your situation. If we were friends I would provide biweekly respite time for you.

Can’t talk, can barely walk, can barely use his fingers. Can still wipe his butt and spoon feed himself. Brain works fine. Pissed as hell at the world.

Can you get him on Medicaid and put him in a long term care facility. This would free you considerably.

What a ghoul you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear ya OP. Most days I’m ok, but I get in a funk every now and then (often hormone related.)

I’m divorced and watching my ex blissfully move on with the woman he cheated on me with. (They’re married and it’s been 4 years so it’s not a passing thing.) I feel stuck in my house and can’t afford the upgrades I want to do or to sell for something better. I’m not succeeding at work or with helping the kids with distance learning. I have lots of acquaintances, but no good local friends.

Usually it fades in a day or but I’ve spent the last two nights tossing and turning over it. The added exhaustion doesn’t help.

I'm in the beginning stages of this now. Everyone says "it never lasts," but I know many of these relationships do. I feel guilty that I want the father of my kids to get hit by a bus right now.

I hope you have a nice weekend and are kind to yourself.

New poster here, but it's not wrong if I hope your ex gets hit by a bus, right? Hugs to you and I hope you come out better on the other side of this.

Actually it is wrong. Hope for them both to be happy.