Anyone else sad at how their life turned out?

[Anonymous]

Yes. I was supposed to be Kate Middleton. I am very upset things didn't work out in my favor.

[Anonymous]

The only thing I am sad about is that I thought my FOO would be closer but we have gotten more distant with age. There are so many problems and the whole family is just disjointed. It seems like such a waste.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's a FOO?

family of origin

Thanks!

This is a new one!

No, it’s not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I never made it very far in my career and married someone who isn't very successful either. Then he become disabled (severely) We have enough to survive on but nothing like the comfortable life of so many here on DCUM. My family of origin is great though, and his siblings are great-- but everyone lives far away. His friends all abandoned him when he because disabled, and I'm no fun to be around so I don't do much with my friends. Life SUCKS for a severely disabled person. There's not much help available to be honest and what help you can get is very expensive and will wipe us out. We still have kids to put through college. I never ever thought my 50s would be spent this way.

What is the disability? I’m sorry fir your situation. If we were friends I would provide biweekly respite time for you.

Can’t talk, can barely walk, can barely use his fingers. Can still wipe his butt and spoon feed himself. Brain works fine. Pissed as hell at the world.

[Anonymous]

I had a great life and was so happy 6 months ago. Loved my job, great family, enough money, etc. Then COVID hit and I lost my job and was barely functional for 3 months. I’m pulling myself out of it but still no job and I would not say I’m anywhere near happy. So even for those with a seemingly great life, things can change on a dime. I would give anything to have my stable, boring life from six months ago. People keep telling me “at least you aren’t dying of COVID”. I guess that’s true but when that’s the one thing you have going for you....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I never made it very far in my career and married someone who isn't very successful either. Then he become disabled (severely) We have enough to survive on but nothing like the comfortable life of so many here on DCUM. My family of origin is great though, and his siblings are great-- but everyone lives far away. His friends all abandoned him when he because disabled, and I'm no fun to be around so I don't do much with my friends. Life SUCKS for a severely disabled person. There's not much help available to be honest and what help you can get is very expensive and will wipe us out. We still have kids to put through college. I never ever thought my 50s would be spent this way.

Get respite care and try to find a group he can go to maybe through church or temple to make some friends. He is only in his 50s don't give up on him.

He needs to have some fun and get out if his friends dumped him and make new ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I never made it very far in my career and married someone who isn't very successful either. Then he become disabled (severely) We have enough to survive on but nothing like the comfortable life of so many here on DCUM. My family of origin is great though, and his siblings are great-- but everyone lives far away. His friends all abandoned him when he because disabled, and I'm no fun to be around so I don't do much with my friends. Life SUCKS for a severely disabled person. There's not much help available to be honest and what help you can get is very expensive and will wipe us out. We still have kids to put through college. I never ever thought my 50s would be spent this way.

Get respite care and try to find a group he can go to maybe through church or temple to make some friends. He is only in his 50s don't give up on him.

He needs to have some fun and get out if his friends dumped him and make new ones.

Yeah - he can't do any of that. He can barely speak, and can't really hold a conversation through texting... he can type maybe three words a minute. For a formerly gregarious and erudite man, trying to make new friends with one- and two- word phrases just doesn't do it for him. And there really aren't many "activities" he can do anymore. Just the activities of daily living (brushing his teeth, using the toilet) take up most of his time. It truly sucks.

[Anonymous]

I agree that you should focus on your blessings. Observe and remember the moments when you are truly happy.

For example, last night I was laying on my bed with my 3 children and my husband. All of us had our own books out to read to ourselves but we were all cuddled up together.

And I thought to myself, "I love this, this is happiness, this is a perfect moment."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's a FOO?

family of origin

When people refer to their “family of origin (FOO),” it is clear they have problems. Maybe get some therapy to work on your issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I never made it very far in my career and married someone who isn't very successful either. Then he become disabled (severely) We have enough to survive on but nothing like the comfortable life of so many here on DCUM. My family of origin is great though, and his siblings are great-- but everyone lives far away. His friends all abandoned him when he because disabled, and I'm no fun to be around so I don't do much with my friends. Life SUCKS for a severely disabled person. There's not much help available to be honest and what help you can get is very expensive and will wipe us out. We still have kids to put through college. I never ever thought my 50s would be spent this way.

What is the disability? I’m sorry fir your situation. If we were friends I would provide biweekly respite time for you.

Can’t talk, can barely walk, can barely use his fingers. Can still wipe his butt and spoon feed himself. Brain works fine. Pissed as hell at the world.

Can you get him on Medicaid and put him in a long term care facility. This would free you considerably.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I was supposed to be Kate Middleton. I am very upset things didn't work out in my favor.

Meghan Markle doesn’t like her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's a FOO?

A type of fighter.

I heart you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I never made it very far in my career and married someone who isn't very successful either. Then he become disabled (severely) We have enough to survive on but nothing like the comfortable life of so many here on DCUM. My family of origin is great though, and his siblings are great-- but everyone lives far away. His friends all abandoned him when he because disabled, and I'm no fun to be around so I don't do much with my friends. Life SUCKS for a severely disabled person. There's not much help available to be honest and what help you can get is very expensive and will wipe us out. We still have kids to put through college. I never ever thought my 50s would be spent this way.

What is the disability? I’m sorry fir your situation. If we were friends I would provide biweekly respite time for you.

Can’t talk, can barely walk, can barely use his fingers. Can still wipe his butt and spoon feed himself. Brain works fine. Pissed as hell at the world.

NP. I'm so sorry, OP, and I wish your family the best.

Is it possible for your kids to apply for college scholarships? A number of schools, especially the highly prestigious ones, have very generous financial aid.

Only if you feel comfortable sharing, how did he become disabled?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hm. I have a job I hate but a career that has been interesting. I had a cheating husband who couldn't make babies so I am divorced and childless. I have more money and time than some of my friends because no children, but I have no children and I would trade with them any day of the week. I am healthy. I'm alive. I try to look at the positives.

Have you considered adoption or being a single parent by choice, if these are options?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I never made it very far in my career and married someone who isn't very successful either. Then he become disabled (severely) We have enough to survive on but nothing like the comfortable life of so many here on DCUM. My family of origin is great though, and his siblings are great-- but everyone lives far away. His friends all abandoned him when he because disabled, and I'm no fun to be around so I don't do much with my friends. Life SUCKS for a severely disabled person. There's not much help available to be honest and what help you can get is very expensive and will wipe us out. We still have kids to put through college. I never ever thought my 50s would be spent this way.

What is the disability? I’m sorry fir your situation. If we were friends I would provide biweekly respite time for you.

Can’t talk, can barely walk, can barely use his fingers. Can still wipe his butt and spoon feed himself. Brain works fine. Pissed as hell at the world.

NP. I'm so sorry, OP, and I wish your family the best.

Is it possible for your kids to apply for college scholarships? A number of schools, especially the highly prestigious ones, have very generous financial aid.

Only if you feel comfortable sharing, how did he become disabled?

PP, not OP.