What did you weigh when you got married? What do you weigh now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one is shaming the people who have gained weight on here, why are the ones that have maintained their weight being shamed?

I wonder about that, too. I am glad my weight is only ~5 pounds higher than when I got married 21 years ago. I have three kids and have come close to throwing up my hands and saying f it all and just giving up, but I want to be around to see my kids grow up so I do what I need to do to stay healthy. Those choices: exercising daily, eating healthfully 90% of the time, indulging every once in a while and going to bed early result in maintaining my weight without suffering or feeling deprived.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is shaming the people who have gained weight on here, why are the ones that have maintained their weight being shamed?

I didn't realize they were.

It's the people who are like "I was 5'8 and 115 now I'm 120 OMG I NEED TO LOSE FIVE POUNDS!"

And I am not a "Fat Positive!" person either. I can't stand how our society has appeared to have given up on the obesity problem and in some aspects is glorifying it. But there is also no need to require your BMI to stay under 20. To be 5'8 and under 120 lbs is what supermodels require and is genetically impossible for most people. There are a whole range of body weights per height that can be healthy, and a muscular athlete, a person with wide hips and a wide frame, and a small boned Asian woman will all have different ideal weights within this range. But the women boasting their weights on this thread skew at the very low end of the healthy BMI range, if not clinically underweight.

I think you’ve seen a wide range of responses though- some women gained, some lost, some maintained. Yes, it can be head scratching to hear someone bemoan that the 5 or so pounds they gained in their childbearing years that took them from being clinically underweight to a healthy weight, but this thread goes to show you we are all having different experiences. I for one didn’t really diet or exercise before my wedding, just wasn’t something that mattered to me that much. I look at my wedding pics and I’m pretty, younger, but no where near as fit as I am now. It took health issues a few years into my marriage to make healthy and fitness a priority for me.

[Anonymous]

I was 5'1" 100-ish lbs. when I got married, 25 years ago. I'm about 130 lbs. now. Skinny as I was back then, I was not fit, and that didn't come until I was around 40, when I was working out, and eating right. I will be 50 next year, and as a gift to myself, I'm taking my health and fitness more seriously, and starting to eat right and exercise again. I looked good around 110, so that's the goal now, although I mostly want to be stronger, more fit than I am.

[Anonymous]

118 at age 25 when I married. The same 16 years and 3 kids later. Its pretty much genetic, I don't really have to work at my weight. I just have to work to make sure it's more tone/muscle than blah. I am much more fit and toned now in my 40s than I was in my 20s.

[Anonymous]

^ I'm 5'4.

[Anonymous]

Lost 20lbs since marriage, i'm 5'5 from 130 to 110. Got off birth control after I had our kids. Married 10 years.

[Anonymous]

5’5”. Married at 27, 148lbs. Divorced at 42, 150 lbs. remarried at 45, 137 lbs and current weight. Spent most of first marriage years 165-175 when not pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Married at 27, 23 years ago. I’m 5’5” and would have weighed about 120 pounds on my wedding day. 3DC and menopause and I’m still at 120.

I’m more fit now; I run 5ks, yoga, weightlifting, hike and swim. Non drinker.

Definitely a genetic component because my mom at 82 has been within the same 5 pounds for her adult life.

[Anonymous]

Married at 31, 5'6" 132 lbs - Ive struggled with my weight all my adult life and I'd exercised and starved my way down to this weight, my "comfortable" weight was probably around 145.

1 DC and 7 years later - I am 137. But that's after losing 15 lbs during this pandemic.

I gained a ton of weight during my pregnancy and was able to get it off but still struggled. I decide to start IF during the shutdown and upped my work outs and have gotten some great results. Hopefully I can keep it off this time.

[Anonymous]

I was 5'8" 138. I was too skinny.

I am 50 and 170 (gained 10 during COVID) now and would like to be 160 but I looked best at 155,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is fascinating.

Im assuming the majority of responses are from white women. Weight is a defining standard of beauty the way complexion? Hair texture? Is for people of color.

I know where our issues stem from. Where does your weight obsession originate?

I have been married 20 years and have no idea how much I weighed on my wedding day. Maybe 140? I'm 170 now.

Maintaining a weight from your youth is an accomplishment, I think. At some point, most people give up on themselves and may be beaten down by life. It's easier to eat the chips and chug the wine than it is to exercise and go to bed early. My $0.02.

or you have little value if you gain weight and men will toss you aside or never look at you. if you had other value this would be less important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one is shaming the people who have gained weight on here, why are the ones that have maintained their weight being shamed?

But you do have to see a pattern of unhealthy body image issues with these post.

Somebody posts 5'7" 115 now 135, need to lose 20 lbs but 115 was a unhealthy BMI or really low on the scale and 135 is still low an only right below the middle, most healthy.

You don't see a pattern?

[Anonymous]

6’ tall

150 lbs 6 years ago
218 lbs now.

Gotta get in shape.

[Anonymous]

5'6" was 118 when I got married. Too skinny, I think. (bony, size 0)

now an 40, 2 kids later, am 125. I think I look pretty decent up to 130, as long as I have a slender tummy/torso area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is fascinating.

Im assuming the majority of responses are from white women. Weight is a defining standard of beauty the way complexion? Hair texture? Is for people of color.

I know where our issues stem from. Where does your weight obsession originate?

I have been married 20 years and have no idea how much I weighed on my wedding day. Maybe 140? I'm 170 now.

Maintaining a weight from your youth is an accomplishment, I think. At some point, most people give up on themselves and may be beaten down by life. It's easier to eat the chips and chug the wine than it is to exercise and go to bed early. My $0.02.

or you have little value if you gain weight and men will toss you aside or never look at you. if you had other value this would be less important.

It's not that deep, or should I say "shallow"? It's not about turning heads, it's about staying vital, fit and healthy. Looking great is a bonus.