So where are you looking for a governess for the fall?
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Anonymous
Please! People. Teachers and moms are BOTH bearing the brunt of this insane abdication of civic responsibility and leadership. I empathize with both and we all should. We aren’t the problem. Mothers are being shamed and asked to bear responsibility for society’s problems under incredibly stressful situations. It’s not our fault and we can do only so much without any support. Similarly, teachers are being asked to bear the brunt of society‘a ills, and schools, as usual. This also isn’t fair. It’s not us who should be demonized here! It’s super unfair and the worst thing we can do is fight each other instead of push actual government and...you know, men....to bear their share of this. Solutions to major social problems aren’t solved on an individual level. |
Anonymous
I have no sympathy for the teachers who are mocking this thread on Twitter and coming on here to say that parents have no business hiring help. Look, I'm not going to hire help because I don't see how it's going to help my situation. But ranting about parents looking to hire a tutor/sitter/nanny/governess just so we can all get through the day? That's not a good look, teachers. Instead of making parents look like the bad guy for trying to make the best of a bad situaiton, focus on demanding help from the government. We should have better testing, contact tracing and outdoor solutions for classes -- and we don't. That's not the parents' fault. |
Anonymous
Exactly and it’s not the teachers fault either. |
Anonymous
Why are you assuming it’s teachers making the mocking comments?? |
Anonymous
You critical folks clearly haven't hosted au pairs. If you get a particularly good one (which only happens around one-third of the time), they're a bargain. It's not up to DCUM posters to decide what the experience of supervising DL would be worth to a 20-something who's OK with working PT in return for room and board in a hip DC neighborhood. It's up to the young people themselves. I bet posters will find capable live-in DL supervisors without breaking the bank. At that point, the joke will be on those of you who trashed the concept, with your kids screaming in the background... |
Anonymous
I haven’t hosted au pairs, true. But as an older SAHM, I’ve spent a fair amount of time hanging out with au pairs at the playground or during music lessons. The au pairs with whom I’ve conversed were all awesome...plucky, energetic, and optimistic. If I may, these au pair gigs seemed to be working on both sides. But these aren’t usual times. First, as I outlined above, the gig is more challenging because of need to manage distance learning; I did it for one child last spring; as adults, DH and I found that challenging. In addition, children will be home all day (studies, meals, dishes to wash, inventing creative pursuits, straightening up after toys/games). And the chief benefit for the au pair, the chance to explore a new city, could be constrained bc of corona. And if the young person were to come down with corona on my watch... I should clarify that I make this point not as an advocate for au pairs generally; they are immensely capable of thinking and acting for themselves, and many young Canadians have already responded to the ad placed by the PP. I say this as the parent of a teen under quarantine, yearning to breathe free. 🌝 I’m not entirely sure introducing a teen or young adult into a household under quarantine for little/no pay is the best idea. But I am probably WRONG (as my teen is wont to highlight these days.) |
Anonymous
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I don't really care if parents hire help. I am a teacher with a 9 month, 3, and 5 year old.
My husband is pushing me to just quit and even though he makes enough, I don't envision being a SAHM or homeschooling alone. So I hired someone in graduate school who will be living with us for at least a year starting in September. I love my children to death but I can't be solely responsible, I know eventually I will feel resentful I had to give up MY dream job just because I don't make 7 figures and that I'd feel like I bear the weight of raising AND teaching my kiddos. I think IF teachers are making fun, it definitely has to do with the delivery and attitude of some parents not what they're doing. |
Anonymous
You're right, it's not up to us, it's up to the young people considering these jobs. But let's be realistic--and honest--about what kind of experience Americans are offering au pairs during this grossly mishandled pandemic. Why should a young Canadian wanting an experience abroad go to DC instead of one of the world-class cities where infection rates are *not* currently skyrocketing? (DC is doing better than many but we're losing ground fast since entering Phase 2.) What's the draw of being in a "hip DC neighborhood" during a pandemic that has shut down so many businesses and community activities, especially if the host family asks the au pair to practice strict social distancing? I think PP's breakdown of the au pair's likely routine was pretty realistic. Parents should be aware that they're advertising a demanding position that's likely to feel lonely and isolating, not a cushy part-time gig with tons of fun out on the town after hours. |
Anonymous
Good for you, PP. Strange and difficult times all around. Better to make the best of the situation than sit around cursing the darkness. |
Anonymous
All depends on the situation. We're hiring a college kid whose campus won't be opening in Sept. to help with DL. She's from the West Coast but her brother, whom she's close to, lives in a studio apartment around the corner from us. We don't mind if she hangs out with him. No, the gig with us won't be cushy, but she says it's better than staying with her mom, where she has to sleep on a fold-out couch in the living room. Her references checked out and we're willing to give her a shot. |
Anonymous
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Plenty of hard-working, bright, social young people aren't going to be in great situations this fall around the world. They could do worse than to become your governess for a semester in DC.
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Anonymous
That sounds great for everyone! And you guys sound clear-headed and realistic--you get that you're not offering her a cushy semester abroad, even if it is an upgrade from her mom's sofa. But the people expecting 20-something Canadians to lie about being on a tourist visa to become their illegal au pair during a pandemic sound kind of delusional about the amazing "cultural experience" they're offering. |
Anonymous
When the State Department sponsored au pair program was operational, this was perfectly legal FOR PEOPLE WHO WENT INTO THE PROGRAM THROUGH THE SANCTIONED ROUTE. You can argue for or against the idea that the companies who vetted families and au pairs did a good job. However, they were there to protect the au pairs and families. Au pairs couldn't be asked to work more than 45 hours a week, they had to have health insurance, there had to be an educational component, they had to be paid a certain stipend,etc. The host families had to live in certain designated areas of the US where the supervising companies had employees who could check out both au pairs and families. A special visa was required to do this. That program has now been suspended. The required visa is no longer being issued. So, no it is NOT up to young Canadians whether or not to take such a position. To take such a position, they have to have a WORK VISA. If they don't, they are committing immigration fraud. So is the employer who will instruct them to LIE at the point of entry. Because if they explain to the immigration official what they are going to do, they will not be admitted. If the "tourist" staying in your home quits, you have no recourse. If the "tourist" staying in your home is injured, (s)he can sue because (s)he isn't covered by workman's comp. If the person is careful and records all hours work, (s)he can sue you and recover minimum wage. The employer will not only have to pay the money, (s)he is looking at criminal charges. Look, there are always people who employee illegal aliens off the books, but they are breaking both immigration and minimum wage laws. I guess it is up to young people if they want to do this, but making a false statement to immigration officials is a felony--and they need to understand this. |
Anonymous
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I'm not the PP you're responding to but, good grief, you sound like an angry State Dept. employee who's fed up w/Trump.
Actually, Americans are entitled to host visa-less Canadians on tourist visas as friends/guests in private homes. If the Canadians choose to help entertain their hosts' kids in the process, so be it, as long as they aren't being paid any sort of salary. The college-age daughter of an old friend, who's Canadian, stayed with us on this basis for several months last year and there was no fraud or problem with immigration. |
Anonymous
Plus One. |