Do private schools require (or request) financial aid families with SAHM get a job? If yes, how?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're not a financial aid family but we're close with a family who is. I went to college with the mom, who constantly complains about private school's aid offer. She doesn't work and her husband isn't making big bucks. It was understandable when the youngest was a toddler, I guess, but youngest is now in 2nd grade, so there's no excuse that she can't work a part-time job. I wasn't sure how or if private schools nudge aid families that it's expected both work? Is it just written on forms or do they come out and tell you directly? Because clearly she hasn't gotten the hint.

For the record, her pre-Corona routine was spent posting all day on Facebook, Starbucks visits, walking neighborhood with another (far wealthier) SAHM, and aimlessly browsing Target, Whole Foods and Trader Joes until the kids needed to be picked up from school.

I just don't get how someone could be so clueless that the rest of her girlfriends are working all day (to pay for private), while she's idle, yet thinks her kids deserve a full boat of aid. It's bugs me so much. Is it entitlement or genuine cluelessness?

No one is getting “full boat” at dc area private day schools.

+1 I'm a single parent and don't make a lot at all. I still pay $15K

Saying you are a single parent doesn't mean much as you may get child support and if you can afford to pay $15K, you are still probably making over $100K which is more than many dual parent make.

I know 4 or 5 single parents who are high earners, like partners at law firms and doctors, with no other in the picture. They are not asking for aid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the people here who are super hostile about this subject, do you just think there should be no financial aid program at all?

Also, do you ever tell your school what you think of the FA children at your school? Do you ever reduce or eliminate donations because of your position on FA?

Following.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope FA families are taking note. No matter how good the rhetoric at your school, this is what people really think. Wow.

Has there been another thread about this? There must be, but I haven’t seen it. The OP sounds very petty and bitter. I’m not a SAHM, but my mother was and she worked so hard to take care of us and our home. I couldn’t put a dollar figure on what she did for all of us. If there was a Target back then, I’m sure she would have been there getting us what we needed (you said that was one of this woman’s common activities). I quit FB because I find it stressful, but when I did do it, it didn’t take any time to throw up a post.
OP, this SAHM might be an extreme case. I don’t know any who don’t clean, cook, run all errands, and a myriad of other things.

That would be the same stuff that working mothers do while also paying for a SAHMs tuition.

Well, bully for you. Give yourself a cookie! Being so “busy” doesn’t make you a better person than a SAHM. Some families value having a calm, relaxed home with a SAHM over a harried, frazzled, stressed-out household with two working parents. Let me say it again until it sinks in. You do you.

Sure, most people would love not be frazzled and stressed out. And many families choose to go public to make it more feasible for only one parent to work, or work full time. But it’s a bit rich for you to talk about how great it is be relaxed while all those frazzled families are paying for part of your tuition because you get to enjoy not being harried.

Seriously. Be a kept woman, knock yourself out. But don’t have single moms or dual income people subsidizing your laziness.
Get a job or go public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope FA families are taking note. No matter how good the rhetoric at your school, this is what people really think. Wow.

Has there been another thread about this? There must be, but I haven’t seen it. The OP sounds very petty and bitter. I’m not a SAHM, but my mother was and she worked so hard to take care of us and our home. I couldn’t put a dollar figure on what she did for all of us. If there was a Target back then, I’m sure she would have been there getting us what we needed (you said that was one of this woman’s common activities). I quit FB because I find it stressful, but when I did do it, it didn’t take any time to throw up a post.
OP, this SAHM might be an extreme case. I don’t know any who don’t clean, cook, run all errands, and a myriad of other things.

That would be the same stuff that working mothers do while also paying for a SAHMs tuition.

Well, bully for you. Give yourself a cookie! Being so “busy” doesn’t make you a better person than a SAHM. Some families value having a calm, relaxed home with a SAHM over a harried, frazzled, stressed-out household with two working parents. Let me say it again until it sinks in. You do you.

Sure, most people would love not be frazzled and stressed out. And many families choose to go public to make it more feasible for only one parent to work, or work full time. But it’s a bit rich for you to talk about how great it is be relaxed while all those frazzled families are paying for part of your tuition because you get to enjoy not being harried.

Seriously. Be a kept woman, knock yourself out. But don’t have single moms or dual income people subsidizing your laziness.
Get a job or go public.

Actually, if YOU don’t like how your private school is run, YOU should leave. It’s not your decision how financial aid is allocated.

Don’t like it? Leave.

I guarantee you will not be missed.

[Anonymous]

Or complain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope FA families are taking note. No matter how good the rhetoric at your school, this is what people really think. Wow.

Has there been another thread about this? There must be, but I haven’t seen it. The OP sounds very petty and bitter. I’m not a SAHM, but my mother was and she worked so hard to take care of us and our home. I couldn’t put a dollar figure on what she did for all of us. If there was a Target back then, I’m sure she would have been there getting us what we needed (you said that was one of this woman’s common activities). I quit FB because I find it stressful, but when I did do it, it didn’t take any time to throw up a post.
OP, this SAHM might be an extreme case. I don’t know any who don’t clean, cook, run all errands, and a myriad of other things.

That would be the same stuff that working mothers do while also paying for a SAHMs tuition.

Well, bully for you. Give yourself a cookie! Being so “busy” doesn’t make you a better person than a SAHM. Some families value having a calm, relaxed home with a SAHM over a harried, frazzled, stressed-out household with two working parents. Let me say it again until it sinks in. You do you.

Yes. You do you. But don’t expect me to pay for your private school. Make your choices. But don’t mooch off of me.

If the school decides to give my kid FA, it is none of your beeswax. I’m happy to mooch off you if the school allows it. Nothing you can do about it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope FA families are taking note. No matter how good the rhetoric at your school, this is what people really think. Wow.

Has there been another thread about this? There must be, but I haven’t seen it. The OP sounds very petty and bitter. I’m not a SAHM, but my mother was and she worked so hard to take care of us and our home. I couldn’t put a dollar figure on what she did for all of us. If there was a Target back then, I’m sure she would have been there getting us what we needed (you said that was one of this woman’s common activities). I quit FB because I find it stressful, but when I did do it, it didn’t take any time to throw up a post.
OP, this SAHM might be an extreme case. I don’t know any who don’t clean, cook, run all errands, and a myriad of other things.

That would be the same stuff that working mothers do while also paying for a SAHMs tuition.

Well, bully for you. Give yourself a cookie! Being so “busy” doesn’t make you a better person than a SAHM. Some families value having a calm, relaxed home with a SAHM over a harried, frazzled, stressed-out household with two working parents. Let me say it again until it sinks in. You do you.

Sure, most people would love not be frazzled and stressed out. And many families choose to go public to make it more feasible for only one parent to work, or work full time. But it’s a bit rich for you to talk about how great it is be relaxed while all those frazzled families are paying for part of your tuition because you get to enjoy not being harried.

Seriously. Be a kept woman, knock yourself out. But don’t have single moms or dual income people subsidizing your laziness.
Get a job or go public.

You are a really nasty person. Its perfectly fine for a parent to stay home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope FA families are taking note. No matter how good the rhetoric at your school, this is what people really think. Wow.

Has there been another thread about this? There must be, but I haven’t seen it. The OP sounds very petty and bitter. I’m not a SAHM, but my mother was and she worked so hard to take care of us and our home. I couldn’t put a dollar figure on what she did for all of us. If there was a Target back then, I’m sure she would have been there getting us what we needed (you said that was one of this woman’s common activities). I quit FB because I find it stressful, but when I did do it, it didn’t take any time to throw up a post.
OP, this SAHM might be an extreme case. I don’t know any who don’t clean, cook, run all errands, and a myriad of other things.

That would be the same stuff that working mothers do while also paying for a SAHMs tuition.

Well, bully for you. Give yourself a cookie! Being so “busy” doesn’t make you a better person than a SAHM. Some families value having a calm, relaxed home with a SAHM over a harried, frazzled, stressed-out household with two working parents. Let me say it again until it sinks in. You do you.

I don't even have a kid in private school. But the WOHM mom is of course better than a leach SAHM.

Yes, because its so much better to have your kids raised by nannies, baby sitters, relatives or just leave them to their own to figure out life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope FA families are taking note. No matter how good the rhetoric at your school, this is what people really think. Wow.

Well, there is one way to avoid this... don't be a freeloading layabout SAHM. Get a darn job. Any mother can go get a part-time job at childcare facility. Or Target's always hiring -- $15/hr x 20 hrs week is $15,000.

Then take out 35% for taxes, then medicaid, medicare, and all that and she's left with what, $8-9K. Then, take out before and after school care and she'll end up owing money.

[Anonymous]

Well OP are you working at your highest potential? Could you make more money doing something else or do you value your time differently than someone else does? Look at it this way. You are able to send your child to an expensive private school during a pandemic when people not too far from us are literally going hungry. Count your blessings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love this forum!

“Isn’t our school wonderful with giving sooo much FA!”
“We don’t even know who gets FA. It doesn’t matter since we are such a supportive community!”
“All the kids are treated the same regardless of FA.”

lol

You figure out who gets FA, you gossip about it and you treat FA families differently. Guaranteed your kids pick up on your attitude and take it to school with them.

FA families are different - they get the same product for less than what we pay for it. And a reminder, private school is a luxury good. There are FREE school available to everyone. If you can't afford private school, DON'T GO.

If you feel this strongly about it why do you pay tuition while someone else gets FA and pays less. Why would you have your child attend a school that gives FA to some?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope FA families are taking note. No matter how good the rhetoric at your school, this is what people really think. Wow.

Has there been another thread about this? There must be, but I haven’t seen it. The OP sounds very petty and bitter. I’m not a SAHM, but my mother was and she worked so hard to take care of us and our home. I couldn’t put a dollar figure on what she did for all of us. If there was a Target back then, I’m sure she would have been there getting us what we needed (you said that was one of this woman’s common activities). I quit FB because I find it stressful, but when I did do it, it didn’t take any time to throw up a post.
OP, this SAHM might be an extreme case. I don’t know any who don’t clean, cook, run all errands, and a myriad of other things.

That would be the same stuff that working mothers do while also paying for a SAHMs tuition.

Well, bully for you. Give yourself a cookie! Being so “busy” doesn’t make you a better person than a SAHM. Some families value having a calm, relaxed home with a SAHM over a harried, frazzled, stressed-out household with two working parents. Let me say it again until it sinks in. You do you.

Sure, most people would love not be frazzled and stressed out. And many families choose to go public to make it more feasible for only one parent to work, or work full time. But it’s a bit rich for you to talk about how great it is be relaxed while all those frazzled families are paying for part of your tuition because you get to enjoy not being harried.

You still have a lot of expenses in public if you have two parents working as you still need before/after school child care. Sometimes a cheaper private with care is the same price as a public with care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope FA families are taking note. No matter how good the rhetoric at your school, this is what people really think. Wow.

Has there been another thread about this? There must be, but I haven’t seen it. The OP sounds very petty and bitter. I’m not a SAHM, but my mother was and she worked so hard to take care of us and our home. I couldn’t put a dollar figure on what she did for all of us. If there was a Target back then, I’m sure she would have been there getting us what we needed (you said that was one of this woman’s common activities). I quit FB because I find it stressful, but when I did do it, it didn’t take any time to throw up a post.
OP, this SAHM might be an extreme case. I don’t know any who don’t clean, cook, run all errands, and a myriad of other things.

That would be the same stuff that working mothers do while also paying for a SAHMs tuition.

Well, bully for you. Give yourself a cookie! Being so “busy” doesn’t make you a better person than a SAHM. Some families value having a calm, relaxed home with a SAHM over a harried, frazzled, stressed-out household with two working parents. Let me say it again until it sinks in. You do you.

Sure, most people would love not be frazzled and stressed out. And many families choose to go public to make it more feasible for only one parent to work, or work full time. But it’s a bit rich for you to talk about how great it is be relaxed while all those frazzled families are paying for part of your tuition because you get to enjoy not being harried.

You still have a lot of expenses in public if you have two parents working as you still need before/after school child care. Sometimes a cheaper private with care is the same price as a public with care.

Do you mean a cheaper private with a SAHP can be the same as public with two working parents who need before and/or aftercare?

I’ll assume yes. First, nothing says you have to have both parents work when you go public. It would be easier to have only one parent work at public than even a cheaper private, so I’m not sure you are comparing the right things.

But even accepting your premise, I think your numbers will be off unless you have a very large family or an exceptionally cheap private.

An expensive before/after care is around $500. Many are cheaper and many families don’t need both before and after, even with two working families. If you need that for 10 months, that is $5,000 per kid. You aren’t going to equal the cost of most private schools without quite the brood.

For a large family attending the Parrish school, maybe your math works, and that would only be if you got a big discount for each extra kid’s tuition. Otherwise, more kids just means more tuitions to pay.

[Anonymous]

Financial aid makes people nasty.

We need federal subsidies for schools so that tuition can be reduced and everyone will stop comparing apples to oranges to bananas and be so bloody nasty to each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Financial aid makes people nasty.

We need federal subsidies for schools so that tuition can be reduced and everyone will stop comparing apples to oranges to bananas and be so bloody nasty to each other.

Or put that money towards public school so less people want private.