Kid's friends want to be police officers -- how to handle

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're preschoolers. Of course they want to be police officers and firemen and nurses etc. The places where they see examples most often are cartoons and books where those characters are always positive. There are no bad cops in kids books. Mr. rogers called them "helpers". Teach your kid about the world and introduce reality and what's happening as it's age appropriate.

OP here. I'll respond to this post which was constructive, unlike many posts just calling me crazy.

I understand that kids might want to be police officers and it might be too much too use this to call into question what they are generally teaching their kids because of the things you mention. That makes sense.

But it still strikes me as tone deaf to submit those videos at this moment given what the country is going through. Sure, it isn't a statement that All Lives Matter or the kid wearing a MAGA hat in the video, but I never would have submitted that video right now. And if the video was done pre-nationwide protests, they had almost two weeks to submit something different.

Why submit/stick with something that could be interpreted as thumbing your nose at the current protests and be triggering to some people?

Other pre-K parent here. FWIW, I wouldn't try to edit my kid on this because my kid is where he is. It's my job to raise him to be anti-racist, but I don't do that by trying to stage-manage something like this in real time. As a parent, what would you say to a kid who said "I want to be a police officer"--"Pick something else; we can't say that right now"? It wouldn't serve the end you are aiming at to do this.

You also need to realize that kids have police in their families--people who they respect and like and want to please and emulate. Some of them may be the parents!

If the problems were easy to solve, they'd be solved already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, we had something similar happen at our pre-K graduation (live, via Zoom). The teachers had asked each child what s/he wanted to be and they reported the answers when each child was recognized.

Of 35 kids, probably 5-7 wanted to be police officers. All white, all boys.

We didn't discuss it in relationship to the graduation. We have talked to our son about what happened to George Floyd and we have been to protests of it together. He's seen police drive by our protests and honk in support. He's seen police drive by and scowl. He will get it all, eventually.

I would not engage or critique the pre-K kids' aspirations, with them or with their parents, as a path to helping your kid grapple with the issues posed by the racist overpolicing of our society. Adults with power are the people to address. Have your kid see you doing that.

I actually think this situation merits further investigation. What’s happening in the classroom such that so many kids are coming away wanting to be cops? Seems concerning to me.

What's happening is that THEY ARE FOUR YEARS OLD. I guess we better cancel all four-year olds until further notice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, we had something similar happen at our pre-K graduation (live, via Zoom). The teachers had asked each child what s/he wanted to be and they reported the answers when each child was recognized.

Of 35 kids, probably 5-7 wanted to be police officers. All white, all boys.

We didn't discuss it in relationship to the graduation. We have talked to our son about what happened to George Floyd and we have been to protests of it together. He's seen police drive by our protests and honk in support. He's seen police drive by and scowl. He will get it all, eventually.

I would not engage or critique the pre-K kids' aspirations, with them or with their parents, as a path to helping your kid grapple with the issues posed by the racist overpolicing of our society. Adults with power are the people to address. Have your kid see you doing that.

I actually think this situation merits further investigation. What’s happening in the classroom such that so many kids are coming away wanting to be cops? Seems concerning to me.

It was two classrooms, and I don't think there is anything so surprising about this. Kids have no power, and in pre-K they are constantly angling for how to get some. Whining, wheedling, negotiating...and dreaming about having a job where everyone has to listen to them and what they say goes.

The glorification of policing to young kids is real and it's pretty pervasive. Shows, toys, even clothing--it's surprising how hard it can be to avoid clothes and toys that are cop-themed. You might not notice unless you're trying to avoid these themes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, we had something similar happen at our pre-K graduation (live, via Zoom). The teachers had asked each child what s/he wanted to be and they reported the answers when each child was recognized.

Of 35 kids, probably 5-7 wanted to be police officers. All white, all boys.

We didn't discuss it in relationship to the graduation. We have talked to our son about what happened to George Floyd and we have been to protests of it together. He's seen police drive by our protests and honk in support. He's seen police drive by and scowl. He will get it all, eventually.

I would not engage or critique the pre-K kids' aspirations, with them or with their parents, as a path to helping your kid grapple with the issues posed by the racist overpolicing of our society. Adults with power are the people to address. Have your kid see you doing that.

I actually think this situation merits further investigation. What’s happening in the classroom such that so many kids are coming away wanting to be cops? Seems concerning to me.

It was two classrooms, and I don't think there is anything so surprising about this. Kids have no power, and in pre-K they are constantly angling for how to get some. Whining, wheedling, negotiating...and dreaming about having a job where everyone has to listen to them and what they say goes.

The glorification of policing to young kids is real and it's pretty pervasive. Shows, toys, even clothing--it's surprising how hard it can be to avoid clothes and toys that are cop-themed. You might not notice unless you're trying to avoid these themes.

That was my fear. I think it is worth talking to the teacher and asking the school to be more conscious of what police-themed media the kids are being exposed to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our preschool just sent around a year end video. Part of it was asking each kid what they wanted to be when they grew up. This was done at home, so the parents recorded the video. I'm not sure whether it was done pre George Floyd's death or not.

Two of the kids stated that they wanted to be police officers and talked about how they help/protect people. I'm not sure how to react.

First, should I say anything to my kid to offer a more balanced perspective, or should I just let it go? Should this change the degree to which I let me kid play with those kids, or should it change my interactions with the parents?

Especially if this was done post-Floyd murder (although let's not pretend the same thing has happened repeatedly in recent and less recent history), it seems at best tone deaf to submit those videos of the kids idolizing the police. It is very easy to redirect a five year old and I am sure the parents could have encouraged their kids to say something less controversial. I don't know whether this was intended as an overt political statement, but it is surprising they wouldn't realize how at least some people would view their kids' statements and I wonder more broadly what they are teaching their kids.

I work with police. By far, most are really caring people who are trying their best to help the community. It all depends on each individual department's culture. And funding. I'd put MCPD up against almost any police department in the nation in terms of cutting edge training and programs, for example.

[Anonymous]

Thread started by troll. Nonetheless, I wanted to be a puffin at that age, and wore a respective costume to Halloween party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our preschool just sent around a year end video. Part of it was asking each kid what they wanted to be when they grew up. This was done at home, so the parents recorded the video. I'm not sure whether it was done pre George Floyd's death or not.

Two of the kids stated that they wanted to be police officers and talked about how they help/protect people. I'm not sure how to react.

First, should I say anything to my kid to offer a more balanced perspective, or should I just let it go? Should this change the degree to which I let me kid play with those kids, or should it change my interactions with the parents?

Especially if this was done post-Floyd murder (although let's not pretend the same thing has happened repeatedly in recent and less recent history), it seems at best tone deaf to submit those videos of the kids idolizing the police. It is very easy to redirect a five year old and I am sure the parents could have encouraged their kids to say something less controversial. I don't know whether this was intended as an overt political statement, but it is surprising they wouldn't realize how at least some people would view their kids' statements and I wonder more broadly what they are teaching their kids.

I work with police. By far, most are really caring people who are trying their best to help the community. It all depends on each individual department's culture. And funding. I'd put MCPD up against almost any police department in the nation in terms of cutting edge training and programs, for example.

Sounds like you’re a prosecutor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You don’t want bad police officers out there, what you want is good cops who want to serve and protect the community and if those preschoolers want to be the good kind of cops when they grow up then more power to them.

I don't know if it is that simple. I agree we need some police officers, and that it is ok for preschoolers to say that they want to be police. But I don't think it is as straightforward as good vs. bad people. When you have a situation where a group of people is routinely viewed as other or less or dangerous, there is an incentive for even officers who are not inherently "bad" to dehumanize those people and act in violent and bad ways. I think we need more training, more accountability, and possibly rotations through more community-focused (vs. crime focused) assignments.

These are preschoolers...

Sir, this is an Arby's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our preschool just sent around a year end video. Part of it was asking each kid what they wanted to be when they grew up. This was done at home, so the parents recorded the video. I'm not sure whether it was done pre George Floyd's death or not.

Two of the kids stated that they wanted to be police officers and talked about how they help/protect people. I'm not sure how to react.

First, should I say anything to my kid to offer a more balanced perspective, or should I just let it go? Should this change the degree to which I let me kid play with those kids, or should it change my interactions with the parents?

Especially if this was done post-Floyd murder (although let's not pretend the same thing has happened repeatedly in recent and less recent history), it seems at best tone deaf to submit those videos of the kids idolizing the police. It is very easy to redirect a five year old and I am sure the parents could have encouraged their kids to say something less controversial. I don't know whether this was intended as an overt political statement, but it is surprising they wouldn't realize how at least some people would view their kids' statements and I wonder more broadly what they are teaching their kids.

I work with police. By far, most are really caring people who are trying their best to help the community. It all depends on each individual department's culture. And funding. I'd put MCPD up against almost any police department in the nation in terms of cutting edge training and programs, for example.

Sounds like you’re a prosecutor.

lol, I'm not. I work on the mental health side of things.

Be a cop. Just be one like this district commander:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/public-safety/march-with-us-its-time-for-a-change-activist-planned-a-protest-with-the-police/2020/06/08/3f2a9ec2-a99f-11ea-9063-e69bd6520940_story.html

[Anonymous]

What do we think of black cops?

[Anonymous]

OP you are an insane person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do we think of black cops?

That we should hire more of them. And women. And people who speak Spanish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're preschoolers. Of course they want to be police officers and firemen and nurses etc. The places where they see examples most often are cartoons and books where those characters are always positive. There are no bad cops in kids books. Mr. rogers called them "helpers". Teach your kid about the world and introduce reality and what's happening as it's age appropriate.

OP here. I'll respond to this post which was constructive, unlike many posts just calling me crazy.

I understand that kids might want to be police officers and it might be too much too use this to call into question what they are generally teaching their kids because of the things you mention. That makes sense.

But it still strikes me as tone deaf to submit those videos at this moment given what the country is going through. Sure, it isn't a statement that All Lives Matter or the kid wearing a MAGA hat in the video, but I never would have submitted that video right now. And if the video was done pre-nationwide protests, they had almost two weeks to submit something different.

Why submit/stick with something that could be interpreted as thumbing your nose at the current protests and be triggering to some people?

Because these are children, not adults, and their parents are not confusing their childlike perspective of the police with the more nuanced perspectives that grown ups have. They are not using their kids as pawns to show how woke they are.

Also, as I reflect on my child's friends, I would welcome any of them to be police officers. They would be true "good guys". If they were old enough, they are the type of people who would be joining the protests right now.

I think OP, this concern is more about you and your concern how other perceive you. Try to separate your responsibilities as an adult from the responsibilities of your children.

But presumably the 5 year olds did not record the video and submit it to the school. That's action by the parents and the parents should be aware of the context.

Little kids can do all sorts of things, such as make comments that could be viewed as racists or ableist, not really understanding the nuance and context. A parent can't control what is said in the moment, but you'd like to think they wouldn't broadcast one their kid's unknowing foibles for the world to see.

So your position is that wanting to be a cop is racist?

Lovely.

That's really what you took from that post? No, it's that it is insensitive for the parents to have provided that video at this point in time.

The bolded says exactly that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My preschool kid wants to be a giraffe when she grows up. I am also very deeply concerned. How is someone with a long purple tongue ever going to gain admittance to an ivy?

It's a hook.

I literally laughed out loud at this. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do we think of black cops?

That we should hire more of them. And women. And people who speak Spanish.

But if all cops are bad....or is just only white cops that are bad?