Yes - during the academic year, life is very stressful. I may have sounded defensive, but the majority of posters here do not realize how much work research active faculty do - usually we work many more than 40 hours a week, in contact with students or colleagues or coauthors in the evenings, on weekends etc. Sometimes I am asked on a Friday night to write a report that can be circulated to the department by Monday morning. Similarly, if a student is in distress - it doesn't matter if it is 8pm at night. If I were to become deadwood (as in, no research), as some of my colleagues, then I would be able to fit all the work into a 40 hr week. The posters here who expect faculty to be in touch with prospective undergrad applicant - would they be willing to stop working on a deadline for their job, or ignore their current clients, or not put their kid to bed, for a possible client, who may or may not have the money to even purchase the company's product? |
| Maybe the people you describe as "dead wood" are working as many hours as you, but they reply to perspective students and give more attention to teaching. You are showing the bias that most research universities have: undervaluing teaching contributions and over-valuing research (which brings in grants). Just saying there is another way..and you should not be so quick to put down the other way. |
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That poster sounds like the type of "collaborator" or mentor who only helps out if he gets a paper (i.e. authorship) out of the deal. It is a very transactional approach to higher education. But again, there is a cut-throat side to academia which is rampant at Tier 1 universities.
Don't think most science superstars are not prima donnas. They are tolerated, quirks, egos and all, because they bring money and prestige to the institution. It is not the world I aspire to working in, but many have drank the kool aid and think anything less is beneath them. |
12:16 poster replying, OP: Ok I understand how you feel, and your last paragraph answers your question/concern. The perfect major fit school and the safety honors school are both close to home (good for you, mom). Do you think your DD also wants to be closer to home? She may not tell you this, but she could be hesitant about going too far. This pandemic is affecting HS junior/seniors in different ways. Your daughter is young, she could be internalizing her nervousness. I can say the same thing about my DS. Maybe he loves the school I mentioned above because it's close to home. The bonus is that it's really a hidden gem, but I was blinded by my "meh" arrogance. In all honesty, I secretly want him closer to home (northeast). Neither school have to come off her list. Apply to both schools. When the virus fog lifts, she can do an in person tour, she has plenty of time. Also, PLEASE register for the virtual tour again for both of these schools. Maybe the second time around, it will be much better. Again, plenty of time. Apply to both schools that are close to home. I bet this will be comforting for her. No end game yet! Ours kids are only juniors. |
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DD was very excited about a college in CT- it was great on paper, online, had an excellent program for what she wanted to study. We were both excited to see the campus and went to an open house weekend. I thought it was great but DD didn't like the feel of the school and the fact that the medical campus was a bus ride away from the main campus. She didn't even apply. She is very happy with her choice which was a school that she applied to but hadn't toured until the accepted students tour. There is a lot to be said for an on-site tour, it's unfortunate that a lot of kids aren't able to do this right now.
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I think it was very unrealistic to have such high hopes for an online tour and I'm not surprised that it unfortunately went south.
FWIW I think the demand for the meeting with the faculty member was extremely presumptuous, no matter how small the program. I'm surprised that the school even agreed to set it up. That just isn't the norm as far as our experiences have been and we have 4 kids either currently at or graduated from Top 10 schools. You may have answered this … how far away is the school? Can you just hop in the car and do a car tour and self-guided walking tour of the school? That's what we would do. It isn't the same as visiting the campus when it is filled with students but it certainly is better than doing an online thing. |
I had the same experience on my visit 15 years ago. I felt like I had walked into a North Face catalog and that I was back in middle school being ignored by the popular preppy people. |
+1 Nailed it. |
I was just wondering if I was the only one who thought so. I've known lots of academics who are lovely people, but there is definitely a large subset that are arrogant a**holes like pp. |
+1,000 on all of this. |
| Occidental was disappointing to us. The videos made it look urban and exciting but it turned out to be somewhat isolated and very quiet. Students seemed bright and serious but the vibe was not what we expected. We thought it would be Macalaster without the snow. It wasn't. However, many people on the tour loved it. |
Northwestern felt very space alien-y when we visited. |
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I hope the poster who complained that there were no refreshments or free parking never dares complaint about the cost of college.
All that swag doesn't materialize out of thin air. The parking office charges admissions at many schools for those spots. The dining hall charges for those refreshments. Some schools will spend their budget on that stuff and some won't. I think I'd rather they skip the bad coffee and put that money towards things the students need. |
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My kid took William and Mary off his list after the visit.
I was bummed. On paper it was perfect for him and it would have been a safety. |
| Did your son share why he took W&M off his list? |