What are the classic components of an UMC or UC American childhood?

[Anonymous]

Hired help/convenience services so that parents have more time to spend with kids...house cleaners, yard workers, landscapers, grocery delivery every week, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up UMC, and for me and my friends it was:
- Expensive sports (think horseback riding)
- Private school (K-12), followed by mostly private college with some top state schools thrown in
- Vacation houses
- Travel, lots of it, including internationally (no weeks in the Outer Banks every summer)
- Sleepaway camps all over the country and world
- Lots of parties, like pretty fabulous birthday parties and sleepovers with really cool activities
- Tons of toys (we didn't have gadgets like Apple watched back then but I'd think something like that is probably in now)
- Great clothes (I'm a girl so maybe I cared about this more than boys would)
- Cars at 16

What’s wrong with the outer banks? You know how many rich people have 2nd or 3rd homes there?

Sorry, I didn't grow up on the east coast, so I was comparing my husband's family spending one week at the Outer Banks in a rented beach house to international travel. I didn't mean people who own beach houses - that was addressed above in the vacation houses. Clearly you can understand that the people who own houses at the Outer Banks that they go to with their family and people who rent them for one week every summer as their only vacation are not the same people? Didn't mean to insult you and your beach house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hired help/convenience services so that parents have more time to spend with kids...house cleaners, yard workers, landscapers, grocery delivery every week, etc.

Yes, this. Everyone I knew growing up had maids (ours came daily), gardeners, dry cleaning pick up and drop off, etc.

[Anonymous]

single family homes
lots of presents under the tree
family dinner every night at a consistent time
Pets that you keep their entire lives
In some cases, not having to move around alot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up UMC, and for me and my friends it was:
- Expensive sports (think horseback riding)
- Private school (K-12), followed by mostly private college with some top state schools thrown in
- Vacation houses
- Travel, lots of it, including internationally (no weeks in the Outer Banks every summer)
- Sleepaway camps all over the country and world
- Lots of parties, like pretty fabulous birthday parties and sleepovers with really cool activities
- Tons of toys (we didn't have gadgets like Apple watched back then but I'd think something like that is probably in now)
- Great clothes (I'm a girl so maybe I cared about this more than boys would)
- Cars at 16

What’s wrong with the outer banks? You know how many rich people have 2nd or 3rd homes there?

Sorry, I didn't grow up on the east coast, so I was comparing my husband's family spending one week at the Outer Banks in a rented beach house to international travel. I didn't mean people who own beach houses - that was addressed above in the vacation houses. Clearly you can understand that the people who own houses at the Outer Banks that they go to with their family and people who rent them for one week every summer as their only vacation are not the same people? Didn't mean to insult you and your beach house.

Doesn’t that logic hold for people who rent a house in Nantucket or Martha’s Vineyard as their only vacation or maybe one of two?

[Anonymous]

Difference between UMC and UC: UMC families can afford to pay for college as full-pay but cannot afford to support their kids indefinitely in life. UC can afford to support their kids long-term.

[Anonymous]

Most of this sounds lovely. I grew up LMC, earn a UMC starter salary combined with DH, but live like MC because of student loans and not having some of the things that come with UMC parents. But I am around a lot of UMC/UC people who seem very unhappy. Seriously, are they faking it and enjoying their lives but don't want to brag, am I in the wrong circles, or are these comforts, stability, and adventures irrelevant?

[Anonymous]

Do UMC people really travel as much as people in this thread think?

Internationally at every break?

The travel some people in here are describing would cost 50 grand for a typical family of 4-5.

For instance, someone said it’s typical in Arlington for families to take several ski trips out West, a trip to the Caribbean or Mexico for spring break, two weeks in Europe and two weeks at the beach in the summer. What would a travel schedule like that even cost? And who has that much time off?

[Anonymous]

I am decidedly middle class but do have several friends/acquaintances who are most definitely upper class. Like, there are major universities that have buildings with their last name on them. They use summer as a verb. Good people, but wealth that is unbelievable.

Anyway, they all talk about how they or their spouse were working at the bottom rung of the family business at age 14-15 and how their kids will do the same. It’s not about money - they were all born with trust funds- but about learning a work ethic and an emotional investment in the family businesses. Even if they ultimately choose not to work or to do something else, they know and appreciate what they have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do UMC people really travel as much as people in this thread think?

Internationally at every break?

The travel some people in here are describing would cost 50 grand for a typical family of 4-5.

For instance, someone said it’s typical in Arlington for families to take several ski trips out West, a trip to the Caribbean or Mexico for spring break, two weeks in Europe and two weeks at the beach in the summer. What would a travel schedule like that even cost? And who has that much time off?

Doesn't seem unusual to me. I would say we are typical UMC. Live in Westchester County, which is an area of affluent suburbs outside of NYC. We go skiing in CO or Utah the week after Christmas every year, up to Vermont to ski over MLK weekend, up to Vermont again to ski for February break or someplace like Costa Rica or Belize, we like to do a Caribbean destination for Spring Break (because it's still usually cold in NY in April), a week in Europe or at a national park in the US in July, and two weeks at the beach in NJ at the end of August.

I'm a SAHM and my husband's job can easily be done remotely so he does some work while we're at the beach in August.

Sometimes in addition, we'll add a week in Cancun or Tulum over Thanksgiving because we love the weather there that time of year. It's perfection.

I'm not sure what all this costs but I wouldn't be surprised if it was 50k or more. We have 3 kids so we always have to get 2 adjoining hotel rooms or a 2 bedroom suite.

This is not an unusual amount of travel for the people in our community.

[Anonymous]

I agree with most of the elements of this thread.

But having grown up UMC, am I the only one inclined to pare down classes / activities for my kids? I spent a ton of time being shuttled around for activities I wasn't particularly interested in. Gymnastics, Ballet, piano camp, drama, soccer. And that was just elementary school.

i really enjoyed drama and gymnastics, but could have skipped the rest

The test prep was definitely worth the time and effort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with most of the elements of this thread.

But having grown up UMC, am I the only one inclined to pare down classes / activities for my kids? I spent a ton of time being shuttled around for activities I wasn't particularly interested in. Gymnastics, Ballet, piano camp, drama, soccer. And that was just elementary school.

i really enjoyed drama and gymnastics, but could have skipped the rest

The test prep was definitely worth the time and effort.

I guess we pared it down? Our 3 kids each do one sport and one instrument. But their sport requires 2-3x a week attendance so I don’t know how pared down it really is. Plus their weekly music lesson. We also required them to learn to swim when they were little for safety.

We also ski and spend most weekends doing that in the winter. But I consider that more of a family activity, though we do put the kids in ski school or private lessons on occasion.

[Anonymous]

Have a gorgeously landscaped yard with a lot of flowers and a staff that tends to it

absolutely need a dog, bonus points if dog has own instagram account or appears in xmas card photo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do UMC people really travel as much as people in this thread think?

Internationally at every break?

The travel some people in here are describing would cost 50 grand for a typical family of 4-5.

For instance, someone said it’s typical in Arlington for families to take several ski trips out West, a trip to the Caribbean or Mexico for spring break, two weeks in Europe and two weeks at the beach in the summer. What would a travel schedule like that even cost? And who has that much time off?

The whole family does not go on these trips together. The ones I know who are doing this have stay at home moms. Typically, the mom goes with the kids and the nanny (or a grandparent) and the dad joins for a few days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do UMC people really travel as much as people in this thread think?

Internationally at every break?

The travel some people in here are describing would cost 50 grand for a typical family of 4-5.

For instance, someone said it’s typical in Arlington for families to take several ski trips out West, a trip to the Caribbean or Mexico for spring break, two weeks in Europe and two weeks at the beach in the summer. What would a travel schedule like that even cost? And who has that much time off?

The whole family does not go on these trips together. The ones I know who are doing this have stay at home moms. Typically, the mom goes with the kids and the nanny (or a grandparent) and the dad joins for a few days.

I mean, that's not what the people in this thread are saying.