Sibling won’t cough up money for estate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Not sure why so many of you can’t follow this basic problem. All us siblings got together and mutually agreed to donate $5,000. towards this work, including this one brother. Now all of a sudden this one brother refuses to donate or even reply back to emails. This only forces the other siblings to come up with more money. Nothing like losing your entire family for $5,000.

Why the heck did you distribute the other earnings before the estate was closed? Wouldn’t it have been much better to just pay for these fixes (which I find unnecessary, but your choice) from the estate first, get the sale done, and then do a clean distribution?

Anything agreed to 2 weeks ago isn’t relevant today, IMO. Or sucks but he is probably having money issues and needs that money and is ashamed of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just pay it yourself and have the estate pay you back. Why aren’t you just using estate funds to do the repairs?

My mother left each sibling $20,000 in cash plus the house to be sold. After giving each sibling their $20,000. it was understood that we’d each have to contribute $5,000. to fix the home prior to selling it. Somehow I’m guessing this sibling used up his $20,000. and doesn’t have any to give. The worse part for me is him refusing to even answer my calls or emails.

Now I can see why so many families fight and never speak to each other again. And you know what I did today? I spent it clearing out this home without help from this brother even though he fully knew we’d be working on the house.

So you guys ALL spent your $20k and no one has the extra lying around to cover?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just pay it yourself and have the estate pay you back. Why aren’t you just using estate funds to do the repairs?

My mother left each sibling $20,000 in cash plus the house to be sold. After giving each sibling their $20,000. it was understood that we’d each have to contribute $5,000. to fix the home prior to selling it. Somehow I’m guessing this sibling used up his $20,000. and doesn’t have any to give. The worse part for me is him refusing to even answer my calls or emails.

Now I can see why so many families fight and never speak to each other again. And you know what I did today? I spent it clearing out this home without help from this brother even though he fully knew we’d be working on the house.

Is this behavior normal for him or is it uncharacteristic? If it is normal, then I would just proceed with the repairs and your other siblings and you ante up his share (which you will get back upon sale of the house). Then, I would not make much of an effort to keep up with him in the future. If this is uncharacteristic, I would assume he is going through something and is reacting to his situation. I would proceed with the repairs and you and your other siblings ante up his part which you will get back when you sell the house. Then I would reach out to him six months. Some people have very weird reactions to grief and it takes time for things to sort out.

You can’t change your brother, you can’t control your brother. You can only change yourself and control your actions.

[Anonymous]

Just sell it as-is. Call 1-800-Got-Junk and a cleaning service. That’s what we will do when my 2nd parent dies.

[Anonymous]

Not sure why the hate for OP. This is “no good deed goes unpunished”.
She was probably named executor for a very good reason, ie being the responsible one. It’s a super annoying situation if they all agreed to the fixes. Unfortunately I don’t think you can force him to pony up. Would the realtor have any pull in calling him to explain the benefit?

[Anonymous]

Just tell the realtor the improvements are canceled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. The house is in terrible condition, we’re simply putting lip stick on a pig and every sibling understood this. I’ve already signed a real estate contract including the work to be completed, no going back and of course the other sibling don’t have extra money sitting around.

If this house sits for a year I’ll need thousands of dollars more for routine bills including property taxes. Once again, this sibling fully understood what he agreed on. Don’t turn my question into a typical DC Urban thread and blame me, I’ve literally done everything since the death and I’m only asking for honesty.

This happened to me in my dis functional family. Refused to pay ANY funeral costs and left mother in the morgue. Refused to allow her body to be removed. (Needed signatures) pled the expenses against the settlement probate & got check right away. They STILL complained “funeral” wasn’t what they expected. Strange times.
BTW here in DCUM land even CLEANING/ painting the house adds up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just sell it as-is. Call 1-800-Got-Junk and a cleaning service. That’s what we will do when my 2nd parent dies.

That service very expensive and the finest trucks you will ever see. Use a different service.

[Anonymous]

Op are you working with a lawyer? I was the executor of my dad's estate and we had to legally wait until everything was finalized before equally distributing the money. Money that was used to cover his cremation and other costs were reimbursed to the person who fronted the money when the estate was finalized. I was also payed a small executors fee which I felt covered the time I had to put in. How did you already distribute some of the money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. The house is in terrible condition, we’re simply putting lip stick on a pig and every sibling understood this. I’ve already signed a real estate contract including the work to be completed, no going back and of course the other sibling don’t have extra money sitting around.

If this house sits for a year I’ll need thousands of dollars more for routine bills including property taxes. Once again, this sibling fully understood what he agreed on. Don’t turn my question into a typical DC Urban thread and blame me, I’ve literally done everything since the death and I’m only asking for honesty.

This is exactly why money should not have been distributed from the estate yet. It's supposed to stay in the estate until everything is wrapped up to cover expenses. You prematurely distributed money and then are asking for "donations" back. Why? All of this should be done within the funds of the estate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Not sure why so many of you can’t follow this basic problem. All us siblings got together and mutually agreed to donate $5,000. towards this work, including this one brother. Now all of a sudden this one brother refuses to donate or even reply back to emails. This only forces the other siblings to come up with more money. Nothing like losing your entire family for $5,000.

Why the heck did you distribute the other earnings before the estate was closed? Wouldn’t it have been much better to just pay for these fixes (which I find unnecessary, but your choice) from the estate first, get the sale done, and then do a clean distribution?

Anything agreed to 2 weeks ago isn’t relevant today, IMO. Or sucks but he is probably having money issues and needs that money and is ashamed of it.

This. It's not that we don't understand the problem, it's that you're doing it incorrectly. Hire an attorney to guide you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The rest of the siblings should make up the 5k gap. The sibling that didn’t contribute should have 5k deducted from their share of the estate.

+1 - just document everything - get the rest of the siblings' agreement and send him a certified letter with the others cc:d via email.

[Anonymous]

Give everyone back their 5,000 and sell the house as-is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I was almost hoping for that. Because it’s in a very desirable area every agent in the area says it’ll sell easily with basic cosmetic work. This of course was just prior to the virus situation. Nearby homes sell in the 1.5 million range, we’ll be asking just over a million.

Are you OP? Your parents own a $1,000,000+ house outright but only $80k cash ($20k x 4 siblings) in their estate?

Am I missing something? Did you each get $250k in bluechip stocks, too?

Also question what exactly $20k gets you on a $1M home. If the contractor starts tearing up things, are they going to uncover rabbit holes of expensive problems?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just tell the realtor the improvements are canceled.

I guarantee the realtor/broker is getting a kick from the contractor. Hell, it's probably her husband or brother in law.