Sibling won’t cough up money for estate
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Anonymous
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Long story short, last parent recently passed away and I’m the unlucky one who’s in charge of the family trust. We’re getting ready to sell the family home but because of its poor condition we all agreed in a family meeting to throw in $5,000. each towards doing cosmetic work on the house in order to sell it. As recently as 2 weeks ago this one sibling was still in agreement with this plan.
Now all of a sudden the work’s getting ready to begin and every sibling has given their $5,000. share except this one brother. I’ve repeatedly (nicely) asked him for his check by email but he refuses to even reply back. And no, there’s no financial issues due to the virus situation. How would you handle this? It would be one thing if he was honest enough to come out and tell me he no longer had the money but no, I can’t even get a response back. At this point it’s more the fact that he’s flaking out on the rest of us more than the money itself. I’m not even sure if I even have the legal right to force the issue. It’s also possible all of us siblings will have to come up with more money down the road if the house doesn’t sell within a few months. I’m already sick of this executor crap and the no thanks that comes with it. |
Anonymous
| The rest of the siblings should make up the 5k gap. The sibling that didn’t contribute should have 5k deducted from their share of the estate. |
Anonymous
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Have any of your other siblings tried reaching out to him? Sometimes there's pre-existing history of family drama or jealousy/resentment in the family dynamic between certain siblings stemming from childhood. Maybe have another sibling give it a go, as they may have more success? Otherwise, I would let them know that they'll receive their 1/5 share of whatever the appraisal of the house is, but if they don't contribute the funds, they won't receive anything that the house sells for that's above and beyond the appraisal/listing price. |
Anonymous
| You made a plan and demanded money. He did not agree. You sell the house as is and be done with it. You choose the upgrades so you pay. |
Anonymous
| I would run this by a lawyer. I would also consider selling house as is and move on. I agree that there may be a childhood resentment. Every. house does not have to look like something on HGTV to sell. Do you really want to deal with all those renovations now in these uncertain times? Call a realtor and be done with it. Best of Luck to you. Dealing with siblings after a parent’s death is extremely stressful. Hugs to you. |
Anonymous
This is what I would do- just discuss it with the others/get consensus, put it in writing and get the work done. |
Anonymous
This. Stop making every disagreement a thing. |
Anonymous
| Perhaps some estate lawyers will chime in here, but I would not put MY money into an estate house sale. You will pay an estate tax on the proceeds of the house. So basically, the $$ you put into the house will generate a higher value =higher estate tax. Is there any money in the estate? Do you sell off all belongings? |
Anonymous
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I'm sorry for your loss. Losing the last parent is an especially difficult time.
I would just do actual repair work that is needed for the house to pass an inspection. Nothing cosmetic other than a good cleaning. Adjust price accordingly. As you are learning, dealing with siblings after the death(s) of parents can be very hard, both emotionally and otherwise. I would assume that you will not get any money out of this sibling for the family home - not now nor in the future. As mentioned, keep records of your communication to the stingy sibling and adjust any proceeds accordingly. You should also get ready for changes in the relationships among you siblings. As you've already discovered, some may pull away from the family like this brother has. Maybe it's just a temporary grief stage but it might also be an indicator of things to come. He may pull away from the family entirely. So sorry you are dealing with this. Be sure to take care of your own grief and loss while trying to manage the estate. Been there, done that. I know it's hard. |
Anonymous
"...we all agreed [u]in a family meeting to throw in $5,000" |
Anonymous
| The estate tax doesn’t apply unless the estate is worth more than $10 million. |
Anonymous
Unless this is a huge estate, they will not pay estate taxes. |
Anonymous
But they are all putting their money at risk and he’s not. I personally would try to sell as is. |
Anonymous
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What do you expect the house to sell for?
I like the approach of deducting the $5k from his ultimate share and maybe some additional percentage of the added value of the house due to the money the rest of you put in. But make sure all the non-cheapo siblings agree with whatever approach you take. Alternatively you could just decide he’s being a jerky free-rider (or else genuinely changed his mind about the approach) and merely deduct the $5k from his share. |
Anonymous
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Does this sibling have a spouse? He agreed to kick in $5K at a family meeting, and still agreed as recently as two weeks' ago, but now is backing out.
It might be possible his spouse has said an absolute no-go to spending the money, and brother doesn't want to go back and tell the others. |