Wife Just Physically Assaulted Me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's the thing. DCUM treats these situations like a zero sum game. Obviously infidelity is wrong. Responding by going on strike for soccer practice and cooking the children's dinner is also wrong.

I hear your sincerity but so much is wrong with this. It's not his responsibility to run carpool or cook all meals. It's their responsibility. It is absolutely her responsibility to keep other men's d*cks from finding their way into any of her orifices.

Trying to apportion fault between the two as equal is just a bad look. The exwife is 100% at fault for everything.

NP. Dear Lord, you need healing. She’s not your wife anymore, and you aren’t her husband. So where either of you are having sex is relevant to the parenting points. The fact that you keep dragging this end lets me know that you’re bitter and angry. If you really loved your younger hotter wife, you would not be ranting and calling your ex a slut. Get over your anger. Men and women that speak horribly about the other parent after relationships end are horrible.

My ex cheated on me - gave NO assistance for a year and I got 100% full custody, even though I offered 50/50. The only person I ever vent to I. Frustration is my best friend and mom - and even then I don’t refer to him with such detagatory terms. You can’t walk around life with a big hole in your heart blaming everyone else for being imperfect, and not risk becoming a jaded bitter person.

Merry Christmas

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So OP never came back to say if she is a woman? I strongly suspect she is in a lesbian relationship. We had many posts from a woman in a lesbian marriage here, and each post was showing some escalation of issues. OP was constantly unhappy, her spouse was ignoring her, and that OP always came out as extremely needy, and picking on every single thing. Still does not make OP not a victim. If this is that same OP, here is my advice for you. Your marriage is not working, you hate her parents, you hate the lack of intimacy and you need to get out of this relationship. If you are not her, same advice goes.

Physical abuse is rampant and under reported in the lesbian community. It's an odd factoid I learned during a recent work training session. Like, significantly less than in any other relationship configuration.

I think it is underreported for the same reason that it is underreported in the AA and undocumented Latinx communities. People feel already judged and under scrutiny. They do not want to further invite discrimination or unrelated police actions.

NP, + 1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So OP never came back to say if she is a woman? I strongly suspect she is in a lesbian relationship. We had many posts from a woman in a lesbian marriage here, and each post was showing some escalation of issues. OP was constantly unhappy, her spouse was ignoring her, and that OP always came out as extremely needy, and picking on every single thing. Still does not make OP not a victim. If this is that same OP, here is my advice for you. Your marriage is not working, you hate her parents, you hate the lack of intimacy and you need to get out of this relationship. If you are not her, same advice goes.

OP here. I’m a man. It’s obvious from my post. I wrote upthread that I’m going to speak to a lawyer. I’m not calling the police THIS TIME. But if she goes off the rails again, I get a PO to get her out of my house and have grounds to divorce her for cruelty.

[Anonymous]

P.S. but I wonder why my sex or gender should even matter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's the thing. DCUM treats these situations like a zero sum game. Obviously infidelity is wrong. Responding by going on strike for soccer practice and cooking the children's dinner is also wrong.

I hear your sincerity but so much is wrong with this. It's not his responsibility to run carpool or cook all meals. It's their responsibility. It is absolutely her responsibility to keep other men's d*cks from finding their way into any of her orifices.

Trying to apportion fault between the two as equal is just a bad look. The exwife is 100% at fault for everything.

I am sincere about this. My Dad had an affair with his editor and left my mom when I was 12. I spent a few years watching my mom lay on the couch and pop Xanax while my dad honeymooned in Europe with this lady. Did I mention I was the editor's babysitter so her toddler became my stepbrother. It was a mess. I was so angry with my Dad that I was a holy terror for years. I also knew how sad and angry my mom was, but she never let us in on any of that. Kept her head high, took care of us, dutifully put us on the plane to see my dad when it was his time to have us (because he also moved to be with this lady. Yes, it was a mess).

We're 25 years out from it all now. My mom is happily remarried. My dad is no longer with the editor. My relationship with my Dad has been repaired over the years and I'm grateful he's in my life. I give my mom huge credit for making that happen.

So I speak from the kid's perspective. When a spouse does the cowardly thing and has an affair, it's awful. I have enormous empathy for the wounded spouse. But as a now healthy adult I'm the product of being kept out of the middle. Believe me, I know who f*cked up in my parent's situation. But it was never my battle to fight, and I'm happy I never had to. I wanted both of my parents and thankfully I got to keep them both. It's a gift I hope all kids are given.

As a final note I'll say that very rarely is it anyone's 100% fault. My dad dealt his marriage to my mom the death blow but she contributed her fair share. As far as whose responsibility the kids are, it's a responsibility, period. It's not owned or shared. It just is. Sometimes one person is the adult and picks it up; rarely do they regret it, and I promise you the kids appreciate it.

- One person's perspective

Neat story but you forgot to reconcile the parts about your mom spending years on the couch as a dope fiend with her portrayal of undaunted courage as she held her head high and stoically marched on. You needed a transition piece there.

I give it a C+

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So OP never came back to say if she is a woman? I strongly suspect she is in a lesbian relationship. We had many posts from a woman in a lesbian marriage here, and each post was showing some escalation of issues. OP was constantly unhappy, her spouse was ignoring her, and that OP always came out as extremely needy, and picking on every single thing. Still does not make OP not a victim. If this is that same OP, here is my advice for you. Your marriage is not working, you hate her parents, you hate the lack of intimacy and you need to get out of this relationship. If you are not her, same advice goes.

OP here. I’m a man. It’s obvious from my post. I wrote upthread that I’m going to speak to a lawyer. I’m not calling the police THIS TIME. But if she goes off the rails again, I get a PO to get her out of my house and have grounds to divorce her for cruelty.

Speak to your lawyer, but continuing to live together after the first attack hurts many women in court. The judge asked me why I stayed if I was so afraid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the guy whose wife called 911.

She didn't make partner. I got full custody and it took her two years to get unsupervised visits after that. Not surprisingly, she isn't in her kid's life. She's moved to Richmond and the kids and I are doing very well. Much better than before

I took her for palimony and I got the house and the condo we owned first.

To the poster that tried to malign time spent watching movies with their kids. Wow, just wow. You're especially gross.

And the cherry on top for all you sad women out there:

My new wife is 14 tears younger, way, way hotter and is actually a decent person. My kids like her more than they like their birth mother.

Merry Christmas!

Troll. It’s not called palimony if you were married. It’s alimony whether you are the DH or DW.

Yeah. It sure is a convenient outcome. But, whatever.

Right. Because everyone on DCUM has a JD in family law

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's the thing. DCUM treats these situations like a zero sum game. Obviously infidelity is wrong. Responding by going on strike for soccer practice and cooking the children's dinner is also wrong.

I hear your sincerity but so much is wrong with this. It's not his responsibility to run carpool or cook all meals. It's their responsibility. It is absolutely her responsibility to keep other men's d*cks from finding their way into any of her orifices.

Trying to apportion fault between the two as equal is just a bad look. The exwife is 100% at fault for everything.

I am sincere about this. My Dad had an affair with his editor and left my mom when I was 12. I spent a few years watching my mom lay on the couch and pop Xanax while my dad honeymooned in Europe with this lady. Did I mention I was the editor's babysitter so her toddler became my stepbrother. It was a mess. I was so angry with my Dad that I was a holy terror for years. I also knew how sad and angry my mom was, but she never let us in on any of that. Kept her head high, took care of us, dutifully put us on the plane to see my dad when it was his time to have us (because he also moved to be with this lady. Yes, it was a mess).

We're 25 years out from it all now. My mom is happily remarried. My dad is no longer with the editor. My relationship with my Dad has been repaired over the years and I'm grateful he's in my life. I give my mom huge credit for making that happen.

So I speak from the kid's perspective. When a spouse does the cowardly thing and has an affair, it's awful. I have enormous empathy for the wounded spouse. But as a now healthy adult I'm the product of being kept out of the middle. Believe me, I know who f*cked up in my parent's situation. But it was never my battle to fight, and I'm happy I never had to. I wanted both of my parents and thankfully I got to keep them both. It's a gift I hope all kids are given.

As a final note I'll say that very rarely is it anyone's 100% fault. My dad dealt his marriage to my mom the death blow but she contributed her fair share. As far as whose responsibility the kids are, it's a responsibility, period. It's not owned or shared. It just is. Sometimes one person is the adult and picks it up; rarely do they regret it, and I promise you the kids appreciate it.

- One person's perspective

Neat story but you forgot to reconcile the parts about your mom spending years on the couch as a dope fiend with her portrayal of undaunted courage as she held her head high and stoically marched on. You needed a transition piece there.

I give it a C+

My mom recovered slowly the way many people do from divorce. I'm proud of her and she's lovely; happily married for 17 years to my stepdad. What a small person you are to say the above. Congrats on bringing DCUM to a new low.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So OP never came back to say if she is a woman? I strongly suspect she is in a lesbian relationship. We had many posts from a woman in a lesbian marriage here, and each post was showing some escalation of issues. OP was constantly unhappy, her spouse was ignoring her, and that OP always came out as extremely needy, and picking on every single thing. Still does not make OP not a victim. If this is that same OP, here is my advice for you. Your marriage is not working, you hate her parents, you hate the lack of intimacy and you need to get out of this relationship. If you are not her, same advice goes.

OP here. I’m a man. It’s obvious from my post. I wrote upthread that I’m going to speak to a lawyer. I’m not calling the police THIS TIME. But if she goes off the rails again, I get a PO to get her out of my house and have grounds to divorce her for cruelty.

So what happened exactly? Unless I missed it somewhere, you’ve not said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So OP never came back to say if she is a woman? I strongly suspect she is in a lesbian relationship. We had many posts from a woman in a lesbian marriage here, and each post was showing some escalation of issues. OP was constantly unhappy, her spouse was ignoring her, and that OP always came out as extremely needy, and picking on every single thing. Still does not make OP not a victim. If this is that same OP, here is my advice for you. Your marriage is not working, you hate her parents, you hate the lack of intimacy and you need to get out of this relationship. If you are not her, same advice goes.

OP here. I’m a man. It’s obvious from my post. I wrote upthread that I’m going to speak to a lawyer. I’m not calling the police THIS TIME. But if she goes off the rails again, I get a PO to get her out of my house and have grounds to divorce her for cruelty.

So what happened exactly? Unless I missed it somewhere, you’ve not said.

OP hasn’t been back. Probably a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:P.S. but I wonder why my sex or gender should even matter?

Many females(most feminist) believe a woman can not be abusive to a man. So they will give different advise base on your gender- like call the police.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the guy whose wife called 911.

She didn't make partner. I got full custody and it took her two years to get unsupervised visits after that. Not surprisingly, she isn't in her kid's life. She's moved to Richmond and the kids and I are doing very well. Much better than before

I took her for palimony and I got the house and the condo we owned first.

To the poster that tried to malign time spent watching movies with their kids. Wow, just wow. You're especially gross.

And the cherry on top for all you sad women out there:

My new wife is 14 tears younger, way, way hotter and is actually a decent person. My kids like her more than they like their birth mother.

Merry Christmas!

Troll. It’s not called palimony if you were married. It’s alimony whether you are the DH or DW.

Yeah. It sure is a convenient outcome. But, whatever.

Right. Because everyone on DCUM has a JD in family law

No one needs a JD in family law to know that it’s not called palimony when you are divorced. All you need to do is go through the process of fighting for or against alimony to know what it is called. PP claims he “took her for palimony”. If he’d ever received even a single payment, he would know that it is called alimony because he fought like hell to get it. No one automatically gets spousal support these days. You go though legal hell to get it and you damn sure know what it is called.

Palimony is for couples never legally married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:P.S. but I wonder why my sex or gender should even matter?

Many females(most feminist) believe a woman can not be abusive to a man. So they will give different advise base on your gender- like call the police.

Most feminists don’t believe that. Most men afraid of feminists believe they do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the guy whose wife called 911.

She didn't make partner. I got full custody and it took her two years to get unsupervised visits after that. Not surprisingly, she isn't in her kid's life. She's moved to Richmond and the kids and I are doing very well. Much better than before

I took her for palimony and I got the house and the condo we owned first.

To the poster that tried to malign time spent watching movies with their kids. Wow, just wow. You're especially gross.

And the cherry on top for all you sad women out there:

My new wife is 14 tears younger, way, way hotter and is actually a decent person. My kids like her more than they like their birth mother.

Merry Christmas!

Troll. It’s not called palimony if you were married. It’s alimony whether you are the DH or DW.

Yeah. It sure is a convenient outcome. But, whatever.

Right. Because everyone on DCUM has a JD in family law

No one needs a JD in family law to know that it’s not called palimony when you are divorced. All you need to do is go through the process of fighting for or against alimony to know what it is called. PP claims he “took her for palimony”. If he’d ever received even a single payment, he would know that it is called alimony because he fought like hell to get it. No one automatically gets spousal support these days. You go though legal hell to get it and you damn sure know what it is called.

Palimony is for couples never legally married.

Aren't you supposed to be counting toothpicks or something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the guy whose wife called 911.

She didn't make partner. I got full custody and it took her two years to get unsupervised visits after that. Not surprisingly, she isn't in her kid's life. She's moved to Richmond and the kids and I are doing very well. Much better than before

I took her for palimony and I got the house and the condo we owned first.

To the poster that tried to malign time spent watching movies with their kids. Wow, just wow. You're especially gross.

And the cherry on top for all you sad women out there:

My new wife is 14 tears younger, way, way hotter and is actually a decent person. My kids like her more than they like their birth mother.

Merry Christmas!

Troll. It’s not called palimony if you were married. It’s alimony whether you are the DH or DW.

Yeah. It sure is a convenient outcome. But, whatever.

Right. Because everyone on DCUM has a JD in family law

No one needs a JD in family law to know that it’s not called palimony when you are divorced. All you need to do is go through the process of fighting for or against alimony to know what it is called. PP claims he “took her for palimony”. If he’d ever received even a single payment, he would know that it is called alimony because he fought like hell to get it. No one automatically gets spousal support these days. You go though legal hell to get it and you damn sure know what it is called.

Palimony is for couples never legally married.

Aren't you supposed to be counting toothpicks or something?

Is the trollspeak for don’t introduce facts into this thread?