culteral difference with wife??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. she doesn't want combined finances because she doesn't want to share her income.
2. I bought the house before we got married and I have a significant amount of equity in it. I don't see why I should "put her name on the house" if she isn't going to help pay the mortgage or repairs. If I die she will get the house but if she divorces me then I don't plan on giving her half of everything I put into the house prior to marriage. This is me talking bluntly I'm not this blunt about it otherwise. Its a premarital asset.

While I understand you feel that the house is yours. If you both are living in it you both should be contributing. It's a huge red flag for both of you. In a marriage it should not be my money and his money. She should not have her income in only her account either.

By the way you don't get to decide what she get's in the divorce unless there was a prenup. Judge decides. Given you have gone into the marriage with those thoughts, good luck.

She gets to save a ton of money by not paying rent. If I were her I wouldn't complain especially if she doesn't want to combine finances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problems started when you guys didn't contribute to the household jointly. I'm Asian-American (not Chinese though) and my DH and I share all bank accounts and everything comes out of those shared accounts. Did you guys not talk about this before you were married? How are expenses split?

She said that she didn't want a joint account after we got married.
I pay all the expenses. She says its the mans job to pay expenses.

I'm a woman and think this is total BS. I'd tell her you aren't prepared to make the sort of arrangements she wants, note that she has her entire salary to do with what she wants and see what happens. If she has issues with you having the house only in your name I would seek to make that more equitable, whether it's by adding her name to the title and she shares the mortgage, etc., buying a new place jointly (w/o selling yours if you can afford it), or helping her with a down payment on a place of her own (which would be extremely generous on your part). Any of those actions are a huge good faith effort on your part to diminish any perceived inequality on the issue of property ownership.

[Anonymous]

Both of you are with one foot out the door.