What would you say to an old AP/lover?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This is exactly what I would say.
@ time of our relationship/his affair I was single & he was married. I broke it off when I met DH. He tried to tell me that we should keep it going. That we would both have marriages & each other. I should have listened to him. Now I’m 8 years int a nice guy/boring marriage and wish I’d kept the AP around. We had great sex, great conversation, and a natural fondness for each other.

Would you be okay if your "nice guy" had an AP with whom he had great sex, conversations, and for whom he felt a natural fondness? I always want to know what the poster is feeling when he or she writes something like this post.

For this poster, please do not tell us that your DH cannot find someone who thinks he is great sex or is great conversation. There are many women out there who would love to have a nice guy as their DH and would not regret being with him at all.

Yes. I want my husband to be happy. What kind of person doesn’t want their spouse happy?
I find that many women are terrified of anything other than monogamy. My husband and I work well on many levels. The sex isn’t great and conversation has grown stale. I’d love for both of us to be fulfilled.

Yeah, because "nice guy/boring marriage" just screams "work well on many levels".

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10/07/2019 23:34

Subject: What would you say to an old AP/lover?

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Anonymous

I am thankful everyday that you pushed me to better myself. I wish you could have taken your own advice and loved yourself as much as you loved me. You deserve more than the hand you've been dealt. If you ever need someone to be in your corner, I'll be there.

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10/08/2019 11:30

Subject: Re:What would you say to an old AP/lover?

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Anonymous

I know you said that things between you and your husband were great now and that you sent it by mistake, but that drunken email telling me how much you still thought about the awesome sex we used to have says otherwise.

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10/09/2019 16:42

Subject: Re:What would you say to an old AP/lover?

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Anonymous

Yes. I want my husband to be happy. What kind of person doesn’t want their spouse happy?
I find that many women are terrified of anything other than monogamy. My husband and I work well on many levels. The sex isn’t great, and conversation has grown stale. I’d love for both of us to be fulfilled.

When you say "Yes, I want my husband to be happy" does that mean he has an AP as well?

My personal experience indicates that it is easier for a wife to find an AP than it is for a husband. However, it is easier for a divorced man to find a wife (or girlfriend, etc. for an exclusive relationship) than it is for a wife. When the wife is over 40 and (or) has kids, this becomes even truer.

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10/09/2019 19:53

Subject: What would you say to an old AP/lover?

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Anonymous

I’m sorry I was a coward. I’m sorry I hurt you so badly.

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10/09/2019 20:23

Subject: Re:What would you say to an old AP/lover?

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Anonymous

We would have been good together. I wanted to go with you.