How do you handle DH being on a different page when it comes to parenting style

[Anonymous]

Remember when woman took charge of the home and children, and men were responsible for financial support?

Now, this does NOT mean they couldn't "help" out each other, but they knew who was "in charge" of what.

Both jobs are indeed different, but EQUAL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We discussed things before having kids so we would be on the same page.

Yup. Not on the first date, and not lengthy conversations, but I picked a spouse who was compatible to me in lots of ways, parenting included. In lots of ways we are ying/yang, but not for important parenting things.

Awesome! Great advice. Now, all OP has to do is build a time machine and go back in time to before she met her DH. Easy peasy.

[Anonymous]

Things tanked when "feminism" convinced women that men had it better. Now women have "men's work" in addition to their own work. Except now men demand equal say in child rearing, even when they have no clue.

Think about it, people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Are you kidding? Everything points to her neuroses.

? i see a mom who wants her kids to ride in carseats, a reasonable bed-time, limits on soda, and some other things. these are all in line with reasonable, common-sense parenting (how could anyone argue that insisting on kids riding in carseats is neurotic?). and she seems to have relented and compromised quite a bit on her wants. none of this indicates a neurotic, rule-obsessed person. sure, there are clearly some problems between her and DH when it comes to parenting, but it really surprises me that "neurotic" would jump to anyone's mind, based on the posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We discussed things before having kids so we would be on the same page.

Yup. Not on the first date, and not lengthy conversations, but I picked a spouse who was compatible to me in lots of ways, parenting included. In lots of ways we are ying/yang, but not for important parenting things.

This sounds so absurd to me. So let's say you find out that you're not on the same page with the guy you love when it comes to parenting. Are you really going to throw in the towel?

And of course, pre-kids partners have great ideas about how they're going to parent. I can't imagine any guy saying, 'well, i plan to be a dick and not do anything to help you, and also i don't think carseats are important.' of course not.

the idea that you could actually avoid parenting style inconsistencies by simply discussing these things before you decide to have kids is just ridiculous. and the implication that if you find yourself in a situation like the OP's, then it's your own fault for not vetting your SO before kids, is equally stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Are you kidding? Everything points to her neuroses.

? i see a mom who wants her kids to ride in carseats, a reasonable bed-time, limits on soda, and some other things. these are all in line with reasonable, common-sense parenting (how could anyone argue that insisting on kids riding in carseats is neurotic?). and she seems to have relented and compromised quite a bit on her wants. none of this indicates a neurotic, rule-obsessed person. sure, there are clearly some problems between her and DH when it comes to parenting, but it really surprises me that "neurotic" would jump to anyone's mind, based on the posts.

I’m wondering if it’s a power play by the DH. I’ll get my way no matter what. Just because I’m ignorant low life with no parenting skills they are still my kids and no one is going to tell me what to do ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can raise a healthy well adjusted kid who never drinks soda, eats chips, fried food, or juice boxes. When they get older they appreciate not being fat.

My kid is bigger. He eats healthy, no soda, no chips, rarely desert, no juice, etc and they are still big. Have sports 5 days a week too. Balance is good. Mine doesn't really ask for sweets so its a non-issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Are you kidding? Everything points to her neuroses.

? i see a mom who wants her kids to ride in carseats, a reasonable bed-time, limits on soda, and some other things. these are all in line with reasonable, common-sense parenting (how could anyone argue that insisting on kids riding in carseats is neurotic?). and she seems to have relented and compromised quite a bit on her wants. none of this indicates a neurotic, rule-obsessed person. sure, there are clearly some problems between her and DH when it comes to parenting, but it really surprises me that "neurotic" would jump to anyone's mind, based on the posts.

I’m wondering if it’s a power play by the DH. I’ll get my way no matter what. Just because I’m ignorant low life with no parenting skills they are still my kids and no one is going to tell me what to do ...

Is it this? I guess I just assumed that the OP isn’t home much and her DH is doing most meals and bedtime solo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Things tanked when "feminism" convinced women that men had it better. Now women have "men's work" in addition to their own work. Except now men demand equal say in child rearing, even when they have no clue.

Think about it, people.

All I'm thinking about it what it says about uou that feel the need to scare quote the word feminism.