Your biggest confrontation with a relative or IL?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH comes from a huge family where everyone lives near each other. They never really left their home state. I was offered a promotion at my job which would take us cross country. We were only married for a year, no kids. We announced we were moving to another state and ILs unleashed full anger, accusations, lots of f bombs instead of congratulating us. Accused me of splitting up their family. Fast forward 12 years. We still in that other state. DH has not spoken to his parents ever since. Our 2 kids never met them. His siblings reached out but DH was so hurt, he calls them maybe 2-3 times a year.

While I don't agree with them for not letting you go live your life it did actually happen. So, I would own the fact that you "split up the family" Why didn't you encourage your dh to keep in touch with siblings when they tried to reach out? Does he expect family to be perfect and never make mistakes? I feel sorry for your kids not knowing their dad's family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH comes from a huge family where everyone lives near each other. They never really left their home state. I was offered a promotion at my job which would take us cross country. We were only married for a year, no kids. We announced we were moving to another state and ILs unleashed full anger, accusations, lots of f bombs instead of congratulating us. Accused me of splitting up their family. Fast forward 12 years. We still in that other state. DH has not spoken to his parents ever since. Our 2 kids never met them. His siblings reached out but DH was so hurt, he calls them maybe 2-3 times a year.

While I don't agree with them for not letting you go live your life it did actually happen. So, I would own the fact that you "split up the family" Why didn't you encourage your dh to keep in touch with siblings when they tried to reach out? Does he expect family to be perfect and never make mistakes? I feel sorry for your kids not knowing their dad's family.

This post is just so much tripe. PP needs to own the fact that she "split up the family"? Dramatic much? You sound manipulative pp. Don't try to make that poster responsible for her husband reaching out to his crazy family. Her husband is an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH comes from a huge family where everyone lives near each other. They never really left their home state. I was offered a promotion at my job which would take us cross country. We were only married for a year, no kids. We announced we were moving to another state and ILs unleashed full anger, accusations, lots of f bombs instead of congratulating us. Accused me of splitting up their family. Fast forward 12 years. We still in that other state. DH has not spoken to his parents ever since. Our 2 kids never met them. His siblings reached out but DH was so hurt, he calls them maybe 2-3 times a year.

While I don't agree with them for not letting you go live your life it did actually happen. So, I would own the fact that you "split up the family" Why didn't you encourage your dh to keep in touch with siblings when they tried to reach out? Does he expect family to be perfect and never make mistakes? I feel sorry for your kids not knowing their dad's family.

This post is just so much tripe. PP needs to own the fact that she "split up the family"? Dramatic much? You sound manipulative pp. Don't try to make that poster responsible for her husband reaching out to his crazy family. Her husband is an adult.

PP you make a good point. I wasn't saying or should have been more clear that her husband is responsible for keeping in touch with his family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What was your biggest confrontation with a relative or an in-law?

Did you recover? How well did you recover? What worked or didn't work about the fallout/healing process?

Honestly, I don't bother confronting crazy people.

+1.
My MIL is certifiable (and maybe, even officially certified, I don't know) so I just keep my distance. We had a couple of episodes earlier in my marriage to DH when I just couldn't believe what I heard coming out of her mouth but I kept mine shut. Luckily, we live 4 hours apart and only see them on Thanksgiving; they talk to DCs on the phone once a month or so, other than that - no contact on my part. DH still calls them on his own time, but, far as I concerned, I only have to see the crazy once a year and this is how I like it!