Your biggest confrontation with a relative or IL?

[Anonymous]

I have never had a "confrontation," big or otherwise, with a relative or inlaw.

Maybe if you're asking this question you need to think about what is the problem with you that you think that having a "confrontation" is normal or typical. Because it isn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never had a "confrontation," big or otherwise, with a relative or inlaw.

Maybe if you're asking this question you need to think about what is the problem with you that you think that having a "confrontation" is normal or typical. Because it isn't.

Um, I don't have confrontations with my relatives or ILs. But this subject came up at a girls' dinner the other night, and I was curious to hear about DCUM experiences.

Sorry to disappoint!

-OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A huge fight over how he was attacking friends of mine on FB over his Trump BS. I stayed away from his page, and asked him politely - repeatedly - to keep his crap off mine. But he just couldn’t stop. Then I started getting private messages about how I “needed to listen to [my] elders” (I was 47) and comments like how people like him with guns “weren’t going to take crap anymore.” But he was almost a bigot, racist and misogynist. Trump just made him feel like he could be more open about it. So yeah, done and blocked. Haven’t spoken to him since. Fallout - some tense times with his kids, but mostly they were ok to me. Things with them are almost back to normal. I’ve never regretted cutting him out. There were plenty of reasons to before, so no regrets.

Was this an uncle or an in-law?

The proverbial “everyone’s got that one racist uncle.” He was technically an in-law, married to my aunt. But he was around well before I was born, so always just my uncle.

So your biggest confrontation revolves around blocking a trump supporter on facebook? mkay

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never had a "confrontation," big or otherwise, with a relative or inlaw.

Maybe if you're asking this question you need to think about what is the problem with you that you think that having a "confrontation" is normal or typical. Because it isn't.

What? How is it not normal or typical to confront someone you love about a difficult issue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never had a "confrontation," big or otherwise, with a relative or inlaw.

Maybe if you're asking this question you need to think about what is the problem with you that you think that having a "confrontation" is normal or typical. Because it isn't.

You're lucky you don't have crazy relatives, then.

[Anonymous]

My parents isolated me from both sides of my family growing up, now I’m an adult and we’re effectively estranged. There’s no shared history and it’s too hard to start a relationship now.

So, yeah, zero family means zero conflicts. Yay me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents isolated me from both sides of my family growing up, now I’m an adult and we’re effectively estranged. There’s no shared history and it’s too hard to start a relationship now.

So, yeah, zero family means zero conflicts. Yay me!

The family was probably toxic and that’s why they did so, hence the zero conflict. Go make your own family of friends/nuclear family bitter one.

[Anonymous]

This wasn't an all-out confrontation with shouting, etc., but I did tell my MIL and her boyfriend that he wasn't welcome at my house until he could stop saying racist and homophobic things. I am not white and neither are my children. He now comes to visit, but aside from laying on the couch and watching Fox News all day long, keeps his racist thoughts to himself.

[Anonymous]

Mine was also Trump and FB related - in the run up to the 2016 election I grew increasingly free with my opinions. It all culminated with me taking my daughter to the Women's March and changing my profile background to a picture of the infamous pink hats.

My MIL emailed me and asked me to basically block her on FB because she was offended and put a dig in about the only march she had ever attended was the March for Life.

I took a deep breath and some time and composed a response where I stood up for myself, no apologies, but with an understanding tone. I've known my in-laws for over 20 years now, generally like and get along with them and wasn't willing to blow up the relationship over the likes of Donald Trump. I did change the profile background pic and am much more vigilant as to who can see my posts on FB.

I now have an anonymous account on Twitter to vent my spleen.

[Anonymous]

My mom screamed at me and told me my immigrant boyfriend was going to kidnap our children and return to his home country and and I would never see them again. I asked her why she never warned me about all the white men who murder their wives and kids when I dated a white guy. BF’s now my husband...and we still don’t have kids. (So I guess technically my mom still has room to be right!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents isolated me from both sides of my family growing up, now I’m an adult and we’re effectively estranged. There’s no shared history and it’s too hard to start a relationship now.

So, yeah, zero family means zero conflicts. Yay me!

The family was probably toxic and that’s why they did so, hence the zero conflict. Go make your own family of friends/nuclear family bitter one.

Me too! Parents turned out to be toxic as well, so I have a lovely family that I've constructed for myself and it's pretty much drama-free.

[Anonymous]

This one is hard to talk about in real life.

My mom was a very dominating person. She was also very loving and selfless, but she steamrolled me most of my life. When she became terminally ill, I was the primary caregiver. It was an incredibly hard time; I had a toddler and an infant, worked full time, and my H had his own serious health issues. I was running haggard trying to meet everyone's needs. Her verbal abuse of me escalated during this period, and finally one day I snapped. I screamed like a wounded animal. She recognized the hurt in my voice and backed down. We got along better after that.

I regret many things when it comes to my mom, but I don't regret that incident. Somehow that was the only way to get through to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This wasn't an all-out confrontation with shouting, etc., but I did tell my MIL and her boyfriend that he wasn't welcome at my house until he could stop saying racist and homophobic things. I am not white and neither are my children. He now comes to visit, but aside from laying on the couch and watching Fox News all day long, keeps his racist thoughts to himself.

I never understood this. If you visited them, would he be OK with you watching MSNBC? I doubt it. So why let him get away with this at your place?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Told my MIL after she gave my tree-nut-allergic daughter granola without checking with DH and I that she needed to look at me and listen to me to have the serious conversation after the fact. She kept trying to brush it off and laugh it off and make light of it and move on, and I finally said, "I will never trust you around my children again if you don't look at me, take this seriously, and have this conversation with me."

She knew I meant it.

Wow! I can’t believe your DH didn’t talk to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents isolated me from both sides of my family growing up, now I’m an adult and we’re effectively estranged. There’s no shared history and it’s too hard to start a relationship now.

So, yeah, zero family means zero conflicts. Yay me!

The family was probably toxic and that’s why they did so, hence the zero conflict. Go make your own family of friends/nuclear family bitter one.

And maybe the parents were the toxic ones?

Anyways I have started my own family, but I do feel a pang of loneliness every time I see my DH with his extended family. That’s a connection I will never have no matter how wonderful my own children and in-laws are.