Here we go...ILs and Family: Fourth '19 Edition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless your small children are infants they do not need to be fed around the clock, every few hours. Of course the kitchen is closed! Your mom will be treating you all to a fabulous bbq dinner soon. Why you would need to fill up on gross gas station food is beyond me.

Young kids can’t go from 7 am until 4 pm! Do you have little kids? I’m not for the snacking all the time but this is crazy.

This is why there is a serious obesity epidemic. Young children do not need to eat greasy convenience food. If they are hungry between meals they should get an apple out of the fruit bowl, sit on the front doorstep and have a nice, healthy, nutritious snack. They do not need a bacon, nacho cheese, funion burger.

Do you seriously think small children should go from 7AM to 4PM with only an apple in between? Do you not feed your children lunch?

If I am serving a late lunch/early dinner bbq at 4pm, I would not expect to have a pre-lunch/dinner meal especially if I had just eaten a big bowl of cereal that morning. If you really must eat, a delicious piece of fruit should be enough to sustain them until the bbq starts. I always keep a well stocked fruit bowl on the breakfast bar - you don't need to enter the kitchen - just grab an apple, banana, orange or pear, go sit outside in the fresh air and enjoy!

The 4th of July bbq spread is a much heavier meal than one would usually eat. I can't imagine eating a big, salty, heavily processed turkey sandwich from Panera only to turn right around and eat bbq just a few hours later.

you are insane

[Anonymous]

BKL please tell us a little about yourself. Pleeeeeease. And I've got to understand why the fruit must be eaten outside. Are you obsessive about cleanliness? Why would crumbs in your kitchen be more important than loving the people who visit? Do you think you make it uncomfortable for them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless your small children are infants they do not need to be fed around the clock, every few hours. Of course the kitchen is closed! Your mom will be treating you all to a fabulous bbq dinner soon. Why you would need to fill up on gross gas station food is beyond me.

Young kids can’t go from 7 am until 4 pm! Do you have little kids? I’m not for the snacking all the time but this is crazy.

This is why there is a serious obesity epidemic. Young children do not need to eat greasy convenience food. If they are hungry between meals they should get an apple out of the fruit bowl, sit on the front doorstep and have a nice, healthy, nutritious snack. They do not need a bacon, nacho cheese, funion burger.

Do you seriously think small children should go from 7AM to 4PM with only an apple in between? Do you not feed your children lunch?

If I am serving a late lunch/early dinner bbq at 4pm, I would not expect to have a pre-lunch/dinner meal especially if I had just eaten a big bowl of cereal that morning. If you really must eat, a delicious piece of fruit should be enough to sustain them until the bbq starts. I always keep a well stocked fruit bowl on the breakfast bar - you don't need to enter the kitchen - just grab an apple, banana, orange or pear, go sit outside in the fresh air and enjoy!

The 4th of July bbq spread is a much heavier meal than one would usually eat. I can't imagine eating a big, salty, heavily processed turkey sandwich from Panera only to turn right around and eat bbq just a few hours later.

So if your guests take a piece of fruit from your well-stocked fruit bowl, but it happens to be raining, are they still required to eat it outside? Do your neighbors ever wonder why there's a sad guy standing on your front lawn eating a pear in the rain?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless your small children are infants they do not need to be fed around the clock, every few hours. Of course the kitchen is closed! Your mom will be treating you all to a fabulous bbq dinner soon. Why you would need to fill up on gross gas station food is beyond me.

Young kids can’t go from 7 am until 4 pm! Do you have little kids? I’m not for the snacking all the time but this is crazy.

This is why there is a serious obesity epidemic. Young children do not need to eat greasy convenience food. If they are hungry between meals they should get an apple out of the fruit bowl, sit on the front doorstep and have a nice, healthy, nutritious snack. They do not need a bacon, nacho cheese, funion burger.

Do you seriously think small children should go from 7AM to 4PM with only an apple in between? Do you not feed your children lunch?

If I am serving a late lunch/early dinner bbq at 4pm, I would not expect to have a pre-lunch/dinner meal especially if I had just eaten a big bowl of cereal that morning. If you really must eat, a delicious piece of fruit should be enough to sustain them until the bbq starts. I always keep a well stocked fruit bowl on the breakfast bar - you don't need to enter the kitchen - just grab an apple, banana, orange or pear, go sit outside in the fresh air and enjoy!

The 4th of July bbq spread is a much heavier meal than one would usually eat. I can't imagine eating a big, salty, heavily processed turkey sandwich from Panera only to turn right around and eat bbq just a few hours later.

I imagine that you can’t imagine a lot of normal things.

[Anonymous]

Wait... where is the garbage can for the Apple core and banana peel? Also at the breakfast bar?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rules are you have to say one positive thing for every negative vent about IL/family visits and hosting for Independence Day Weekend 2019!

Negative: IL kitchen habits back at it again! Just went to the kitchen for a glass of water, only to see the huge platter of semi-frozen hamburger patties that is apparently going to be left out overnight.

Positive: For once, we didn't have to ask for them to silence their four loud cuckoo clocks so the kids could sleep. They did that on their own steam, and also turned the air conditioning on for the night!

It's been a nice visit overall so far. Hope everyone has a great time, and come scream into the pillow that is this thread when you need to. Looking forward to reading all the hastily typed missives from the bathroom!

Turned on ac just for the night? What? Please tell me you're in Alaska, Canada or upstate NY.

No, no...rural New Jersey. It has been a pleasant but HOT visit.

Yesterday, my husband and 3yo took a nap in the back bedroom before the BBQ started. The house was "opened to air" during the day "because people would be coming in and out of the house." And seemingly that meant they'd be unable to close a door, apparently. Anyway, the nappers woke up drenched in sweat and had to change clothes. Then my MIL was upset that the 3yo's hair was sweat-drenched and her braided pigtails were "ruined." Whatever.

But yes, other than the heat/lack of AC, it's been OK.

[Anonymous]

"A breakfast bar with no breakfast...how dreadful."

-Dwight from 'Real Housewives of Atlanta' voice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait... where is the garbage can for the Apple core and banana peel? Also at the breakfast bar?

Roughage. To clear out the Burger King/gas station food. Duh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait... where is the garbage can for the Apple core and banana peel? Also at the breakfast bar?

Roughage. To clear out the Burger King/gas station food. Duh.

I'm picturing a compost bin in the garage where hungry "guests" can be found at 2 a.m., desperately scrounging for scraps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait... where is the garbage can for the Apple core and banana peel? Also at the breakfast bar?

Roughage. To clear out the Burger King/gas station food. Duh.

Delicious, lovely roughage. Only the best.

I would bet good money that within the year, BKL has a policy of "closing the bathroom," if she doesn't already. C'mon, she just polished the toilet and she doesn't want your nasty sprinkle on it. There's a lovely bench you can sit on in the hall and think about what you almost did. You pooped three days ago, you disgusting thing. Why would you need to go again? You might get your oily fingerprints on the perfect handle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless your small children are infants they do not need to be fed around the clock, every few hours. Of course the kitchen is closed! Your mom will be treating you all to a fabulous bbq dinner soon. Why you would need to fill up on gross gas station food is beyond me.

Young kids can’t go from 7 am until 4 pm! Do you have little kids? I’m not for the snacking all the time but this is crazy.

This is why there is a serious obesity epidemic. Young children do not need to eat greasy convenience food. If they are hungry between meals they should get an apple out of the fruit bowl, sit on the front doorstep and have a nice, healthy, nutritious snack. They do not need a bacon, nacho cheese, funion burger.

OMG shut it! Poster said she went to Panera. Know what my kids eat at Panera? Black bean soup and an apple. Or turkey sandwich on wheat - with an apple.

But no, better keep my preschooler starving for 9 hours so we have room for Mimi’s mayo drenched potato salad and a Pinterest inspired red white and blue dessert!!! What are you serving at your BBQ? Grilled tofu and veggies?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait... where is the garbage can for the Apple core and banana peel? Also at the breakfast bar?

Roughage. To clear out the Burger King/gas station food. Duh.

Delicious, lovely roughage. Only the best.

I would bet good money that within the year, BKL has a policy of "closing the bathroom," if she doesn't already. C'mon, she just polished the toilet and she doesn't want your nasty sprinkle on it. There's a lovely bench you can sit on in the hall and think about what you almost did. You pooped three days ago, you disgusting thing. Why would you need to go again? You might get your oily fingerprints on the perfect handle.

Let me remind you there’s a perfectly good gas station bathroom next to the Burger King - if you must relieve yourself with such absurd regularity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless your small children are infants they do not need to be fed around the clock, every few hours. Of course the kitchen is closed! Your mom will be treating you all to a fabulous bbq dinner soon. Why you would need to fill up on gross gas station food is beyond me.

Young kids can’t go from 7 am until 4 pm! Do you have little kids? I’m not for the snacking all the time but this is crazy.

I’m well past 4 and dayuuummm I need to eat between 7 and 4.
First of damn all, I’m not up at 7 on my day off, so there is that. If I cook or eat, I can clean up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been a loyal fan of DCUM for more years than I care to say. And I love a good crazy story about IL visits. But I’ve never heard of nor do I see the need for a
July 4th ILs rant.

Give it a rest. Fetch isn’t going to happen.

It’s a multi-page thread, so...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:BKL please tell us a little about yourself. Pleeeeeease. And I've got to understand why the fruit must be eaten outside. Are you obsessive about cleanliness? Why would crumbs in your kitchen be more important than loving the people who visit? Do you think you make it uncomfortable for them?

My guess is she's closed it because she's in there getting her vodka on. "hide it in the pantry with your cupcakes" , but in her case it's hidden with her bowl of delicious fruit that is not for guests because there's a dickens village on the not breakfast bar.