DS’s friend’s dad only wants to hang out with DH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has way better things to do than hang out with parents of our kids’ friends sans kids, let alone losing sleep to do it. Frankly, he sounds ridiculous.

DH already works a ton and has a lot of work related or alumni type events in the evenings he already often declines.

My peeve with this guy is that our kids are good friends. The mom actually always says my son is her son’s best friend.

Jesus, lady. What has happened is that the father of your kids best friend has taken a liking to your husband, and wants to do adult things like dinner or drinks with him. You yourself said your husband is likeable.

What about this situation peeves you, exactly? You think that because they met through your kid, all interactions need to include the kids?

You sound a little . . . off.

dp I don't think the op is off. If the guy would hang out with the families occasionally than it would be fine to also hang with dh. Nothing wrong with him wanting a bro but, not wanting to hang with the families is a bit off to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually don’t mind the guy. We get along.

I have a problem with how much my husband works. That is a different topic though.

I’m very social. I go out way more than DH does. Majority of my friends and I get kids together most of the time and of course enjoy moms only nights as well.

Jeez, OP, pick a lane. You're upset about a thousand different things. Perhaps you need more hobbies.

Hobbies that don't revolve around preschoolers, even.
So the guy doesn't want to spend what little free time he has hanging out with 6 kids and his friend's nagging, overbearing wife who thinks every waking minute must revolve around children. Shocking, I tell you.

Seriously? A grown man who tells an acquaintance that he dislikes his wife and kids? As others have said, a mix of family outings, double dates and dad meet ups is normal. Choosing to have 3 kids and never hanging out with them and their friends is weird. Like two dads can have a beer and chat by the grill while the kids run around the yard. What’s wrong with that? If I was OP I would cut them off. Is he going to turn your husband into a men’s rights activist or some other toxic bullshit. A guy who badmouths his wife like that is bad news. I would steer clear.

Am I the only one who thinks the guy said that so as not to offend OP and her husband? It's quite possible that he just doesn't like OP and her kids...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually don’t mind the guy. We get along.

I have a problem with how much my husband works. That is a different topic though.

I’m very social. I go out way more than DH does. Majority of my friends and I get kids together most of the time and of course enjoy moms only nights as well.

Jeez, OP, pick a lane. You're upset about a thousand different things. Perhaps you need more hobbies.

Hobbies that don't revolve around preschoolers, even.
So the guy doesn't want to spend what little free time he has hanging out with 6 kids and his friend's nagging, overbearing wife who thinks every waking minute must revolve around children. Shocking, I tell you.

Seriously? A grown man who tells an acquaintance that he dislikes his wife and kids? As others have said, a mix of family outings, double dates and dad meet ups is normal. Choosing to have 3 kids and never hanging out with them and their friends is weird. Like two dads can have a beer and chat by the grill while the kids run around the yard. What’s wrong with that? If I was OP I would cut them off. Is he going to turn your husband into a men’s rights activist or some other toxic bullshit. A guy who badmouths his wife like that is bad news. I would steer clear.

Am I the only one who thinks the guy said that so as not to offend OP and her husband? It's quite possible that he just doesn't like OP and her kids...

It’s possible he doesn’t like OP and her kids. But bad mouthing your spouse and kids as an alternative excuse is pretty low. Who talks so poorly about their family just so they can plan a bros night out?

And honestly, absent a pre-existing relationship, a friendship in which you really can’t stand the other person’s family (to the extent you routinely avoid them) is pretty doomed.

[Anonymous]

Going out at 11pm may be a bit late, but my husband regularly does Dad Happy Hours with the other dads from our kids’ preschool. They usually meet on a weekend night after the kids go to bed (or if earlier, we eat dinner together and then I put the kids to bed)
I’m all for it. Guys need “dad friends” in the same way women need “mom friends”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I could get past a lot of it a but drinks at 11 pm?! Run far and fast from
This one

Yeah, just a guess but it sounds like drinks are pretty important to this guy. Kids get in the way of that so maybe he likes his alcohol a bit too much. But that's only a guess.

[Anonymous]

These are invitations to DH to accept or decline as he sees fit. What does this have to do with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s pretty normal for a parent to want to socialize with other adults, without their kids in tow. I know I do, and I’m a mom.

Of course. I love hanging out with my girlfriends.

This is a friend from school though. Our mutual connection is our child.

^^This. It wouldn't be weird if both families had gotten together, and even the adults and then it developed into a separate friendship for the guys, but that's not what this is.

In fact, it's so odd, I'd go as far as to question whether this guy is hitting on your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure why everyone is concluding that this guy doesn't like spending time with his own family? Clearly it's that he doesn't like OP and her bratty kids. Also, it's normal to want adult time with your own friends. Not everyone likes to socialize in a group -- much less with a bunch of kids and spouses around.

NP. Do you people not read?

From the OP:

"I feel somewhat insulted but then DH told me it is because he doesn’t like HIS wife and kids, not because of me and our kids."

I am guessing that if the guy had told OP's husband, "I really can't stand your lunatic wife, or your kids, so let's just meet up for a late drink," it wouldn't have gone over so well. So, he made up another reason (albeit not a very flattering one).

Based solely on OP's postings here, this scenario is *entirely* plausible.