DS’s friend’s dad only wants to hang out with DH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually don’t mind the guy. We get along.

I have a problem with how much my husband works. That is a different topic though.

I’m very social. I go out way more than DH does. Majority of my friends and I get kids together most of the time and of course enjoy moms only nights as well.

Jeez, OP, pick a lane. You're upset about a thousand different things. Perhaps you need more hobbies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually don’t mind the guy. We get along.

I have a problem with how much my husband works. That is a different topic though.

I’m very social. I go out way more than DH does. Majority of my friends and I get kids together most of the time and of course enjoy moms only nights as well.

Then why can't your Dh have a "dads only night out?"

You guys are missing the point - her DH doesn’t WANT to spend his rare free time with this guy. It sounds like he’d be okay with it if it was a family event like a BBQ. OP is annoyed that she has to listen to her DH be annoyed at the solo invites AND her son beg to see his friend. The only one blocking the obvious solution to both issues is the friends dad who refuses family events.

This sounds like a really irritating dynamic!

[Anonymous]

NP. The thing that would be off putting to me is this guy’s sole focus on hanging out with just DH. If the families got together at other times and he was hoping for a giy’s Night out here and there, that would be different. But it seems like his interest in being friends with OP’s DH is only within the context of the two of them hanging out, which seems strange.

I get wanting adult time, but it seems weird to go out of you way to never hang out doing family stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. The thing that would be off putting to me is this guy’s sole focus on hanging out with just DH. If the families got together at other times and he was hoping for a giy’s Night out here and there, that would be different. But it seems like his interest in being friends with OP’s DH is only within the context of the two of them hanging out, which seems strange.

I get wanting adult time, but it seems weird to go out of you way to never hang out doing family stuff.

Op here. Yes, this is exactly it. If there was a mix of play dates and dad outings, no big deal and totally normal and understandable. Our timing is off so we can’t get our kids together. I should have mentioned that we moved so our kids no longer go to the same school after being in the same class for a few years. The mom and I used to hang out a lot when she didn’t work. This was before the dads even met. She went back to work and then we moved.

I used to have 2 kids when she had 3. Now we both have 3 kids. When mom stayed home, she would often take my oldest for play dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually don’t mind the guy. We get along.

I have a problem with how much my husband works. That is a different topic though.

I’m very social. I go out way more than DH does. Majority of my friends and I get kids together most of the time and of course enjoy moms only nights as well.

Jeez, OP, pick a lane. You're upset about a thousand different things. Perhaps you need more hobbies.

Hobbies that don't revolve around preschoolers, even.
So the guy doesn't want to spend what little free time he has hanging out with 6 kids and his friend's nagging, overbearing wife who thinks every waking minute must revolve around children. Shocking, I tell you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. The thing that would be off putting to me is this guy’s sole focus on hanging out with just DH. If the families got together at other times and he was hoping for a giy’s Night out here and there, that would be different. But it seems like his interest in being friends with OP’s DH is only within the context of the two of them hanging out, which seems strange.

I get wanting adult time, but it seems weird to go out of you way to never hang out doing family stuff.

Op here. Yes, this is exactly it. If there was a mix of play dates and dad outings, no big deal and totally normal and understandable. Our timing is off so we can’t get our kids together. I should have mentioned that we moved so our kids no longer go to the same school after being in the same class for a few years. The mom and I used to hang out a lot when she didn’t work. This was before the dads even met. She went back to work and then we moved.

I used to have 2 kids when she had 3. Now we both have 3 kids. When mom stayed home, she would often take my oldest for play dates.

Again, OP, I’m going to ask what the real issue is. That you miss your friend and are jealous the other husband wants to be friends with your DH outside of play dates?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he’s secretly gay and wants your husband?

I have actually thought this for a second but don’t think this is it. DH is great and very likeable. That’s why I married him.

I know they went through a rough patch and were even separated for a while. They are in counseling now.

We are all early 40s. I know so many couples getting divorced.

I wouldn’t want to hang out with a man who ‘doesn’t like his own wife and kids’.
What a strange man. He sounds immature and hateful. That’s probably what rubs you the wrong way - and why would you want your DH to hang out with that guy? I would just stop inviting that man over to my house or out anywhere. He has no values.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Anyone who suggests getting together after dinner is a no-go and would be laughed out of our lives. Drinks at 11pm??? He's a loser trying to relive his "glory" days.

Not really. I rarely drink and so meet up with moms from my neighborhood at 9 or 10pm once a month at a bar we can all walk to an dwe have a drink after our kids are in bed while our husband a stay home with the sleeping kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually don’t mind the guy. We get along.

I have a problem with how much my husband works. That is a different topic though.

I’m very social. I go out way more than DH does. Majority of my friends and I get kids together most of the time and of course enjoy moms only nights as well.

Jeez, OP, pick a lane. You're upset about a thousand different things. Perhaps you need more hobbies.

Hobbies that don't revolve around preschoolers, even.
So the guy doesn't want to spend what little free time he has hanging out with 6 kids and his friend's nagging, overbearing wife who thinks every waking minute must revolve around children. Shocking, I tell you.

Seriously? A grown man who tells an acquaintance that he dislikes his wife and kids? As others have said, a mix of family outings, double dates and dad meet ups is normal. Choosing to have 3 kids and never hanging out with them and their friends is weird. Like two dads can have a beer and chat by the grill while the kids run around the yard. What’s wrong with that? If I was OP I would cut them off. Is he going to turn your husband into a men’s rights activist or some other toxic bullshit. A guy who badmouths his wife like that is bad news. I would steer clear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually don’t mind the guy. We get along.

I have a problem with how much my husband works. That is a different topic though.

I’m very social. I go out way more than DH does. Majority of my friends and I get kids together most of the time and of course enjoy moms only nights as well.

Jeez, OP, pick a lane. You're upset about a thousand different things. Perhaps you need more hobbies.

Hobbies that don't revolve around preschoolers, even.
So the guy doesn't want to spend what little free time he has hanging out with 6 kids and his friend's nagging, overbearing wife who thinks every waking minute must revolve around children. Shocking, I tell you.

Seriously? A grown man who tells an acquaintance that he dislikes his wife and kids? As others have said, a mix of family outings, double dates and dad meet ups is normal. Choosing to have 3 kids and never hanging out with them and their friends is weird. Like two dads can have a beer and chat by the grill while the kids run around the yard. What’s wrong with that? If I was OP I would cut them off. Is he going to turn your husband into a men’s rights activist or some other toxic bullshit. A guy who badmouths his wife like that is bad news. I would steer clear.

Please go take your meds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually don’t mind the guy. We get along.

I have a problem with how much my husband works. That is a different topic though.

I’m very social. I go out way more than DH does. Majority of my friends and I get kids together most of the time and of course enjoy moms only nights as well.

Jeez, OP, pick a lane. You're upset about a thousand different things. Perhaps you need more hobbies.

Hobbies that don't revolve around preschoolers, even.
So the guy doesn't want to spend what little free time he has hanging out with 6 kids and his friend's nagging, overbearing wife who thinks every waking minute must revolve around children. Shocking, I tell you.

Seriously? A grown man who tells an acquaintance that he dislikes his wife and kids? As others have said, a mix of family outings, double dates and dad meet ups is normal. Choosing to have 3 kids and never hanging out with them and their friends is weird. Like two dads can have a beer and chat by the grill while the kids run around the yard. What’s wrong with that? If I was OP I would cut them off. Is he going to turn your husband into a men’s rights activist or some other toxic bullshit. A guy who badmouths his wife like that is bad news. I would steer clear.

The guy sounds sociopathic.

[Anonymous]

He's weird, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually don’t mind the guy. We get along.

I have a problem with how much my husband works. That is a different topic though.

I’m very social. I go out way more than DH does. Majority of my friends and I get kids together most of the time and of course enjoy moms only nights as well.

Jeez, OP, pick a lane. You're upset about a thousand different things. Perhaps you need more hobbies.

Hobbies that don't revolve around preschoolers, even.
So the guy doesn't want to spend what little free time he has hanging out with 6 kids and his friend's nagging, overbearing wife who thinks every waking minute must revolve around children. Shocking, I tell you.

Seriously? A grown man who tells an acquaintance that he dislikes his wife and kids? As others have said, a mix of family outings, double dates and dad meet ups is normal. Choosing to have 3 kids and never hanging out with them and their friends is weird. Like two dads can have a beer and chat by the grill while the kids run around the yard. What’s wrong with that? If I was OP I would cut them off. Is he going to turn your husband into a men’s rights activist or some other toxic bullshit. A guy who badmouths his wife like that is bad news. I would steer clear.

The guy sounds sociopathic.

I’m guessing he’s a lawyer, OP?
Sociopathic, getting off work at 11 pm, money for golf outings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Anyone who suggests getting together after dinner is a no-go and would be laughed out of our lives. Drinks at 11pm??? He's a loser trying to relive his "glory" days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually don’t mind the guy. We get along.

I have a problem with how much my husband works. That is a different topic though.

I’m very social. I go out way more than DH does. Majority of my friends and I get kids together most of the time and of course enjoy moms only nights as well.

Jeez, OP, pick a lane. You're upset about a thousand different things. Perhaps you need more hobbies.

Hobbies that don't revolve around preschoolers, even.
So the guy doesn't want to spend what little free time he has hanging out with 6 kids and his friend's nagging, overbearing wife who thinks every waking minute must revolve around children. Shocking, I tell you.

Seriously? A grown man who tells an acquaintance that he dislikes his wife and kids? As others have said, a mix of family outings, double dates and dad meet ups is normal. Choosing to have 3 kids and never hanging out with them and their friends is weird. Like two dads can have a beer and chat by the grill while the kids run around the yard. What’s wrong with that? If I was OP I would cut them off. Is he going to turn your husband into a men’s rights activist or some other toxic bullshit. A guy who badmouths his wife like that is bad news. I would steer clear.

The guy sounds sociopathic.

No he actually doesn’t. He sounds normal. Unlike you, OP. Please go take your meds.