“You need to have another kid!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From this thread is clear to me that people are too sensitive and think they are too important than they really are. If I ask someone whether they are planning on another child (I have done it often), there is ZERO judgement on my part. Frankly I could not care less, but since I have three kids and I meet other moms at playgrounds, the conversation is free goes there. It’s just chit chat! Why would I ever judge a mom of 1,2,3...7 kids? It isn’t my business and I really don’t care. It’s the same as asking how old is your kid, or where does he/she go to school. It never bothered me when people asked me whether I was planning for another or when they would tell me: “wow 3!? You are so brave!” WHO CARES!

You missed the point. Some people cannot *plan** for another child. It’s not the same thing as asking about ages

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From this thread is clear to me that people are too sensitive and think they are too important than they really are. If I ask someone whether they are planning on another child (I have done it often), there is ZERO judgement on my part. Frankly I could not care less, but since I have three kids and I meet other moms at playgrounds, the conversation is free goes there. It’s just chit chat! Why would I ever judge a mom of 1,2,3...7 kids? It isn’t my business and I really don’t care. It’s the same as asking how old is your kid, or where does he/she go to school. It never bothered me when people asked me whether I was planning for another or when they would tell me: “wow 3!? You are so brave!” WHO CARES!

You missed the point. Some people cannot *plan** for another child. It’s not the same thing as asking about ages

If someone asks “are you planning on having another child?” just answer them. Either tell the truth or lie. Or deflect. “Oh, you never know....this one is such a handful...”

I have a 7 year gap between kids. This question never bothered me because I just answered honestly. “I think we would like another child”. Now I have two kids and when someone asks I answer again truthfully, “I would love another baby, but I’m not sure it’s in the cards for us. What about you?” (Pro tip: when someone asks you this they usually just want to talk about their own plans.)

If someone told me I should have another child I’d smile and say, “I think so too!” I’m not sure it will happen but I’m telling the truth.

[Anonymous]

I say "haha, I wish!" And that makes people uncomfortable so they stop prying.

[Anonymous]

I just respond, "Nope. Too poor and too old." That usually shuts them up.

[Anonymous]

I agree it is small talk. People used to tell me this knowing damn well my husband was deployed, and would continue to be deployed for another many months. It was always awkward trying to craft some reply.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree it is small talk. People used to tell me this knowing damn well my husband was deployed, and would continue to be deployed for another many months. It was always awkward trying to craft some reply.

Haha I got this too. I always said “I think I will be in quite some trouble if I get pregnant now!”

[Anonymous]

This is one of a million things said out of habit or to make conversation, but it is insensitive. As a minority, a female, as someone who lost a child, I have heard it all. And unless I’m truly in a state of emotional turmoil, none of it bothers me other than mild annoyance or embarrassment for the other person for being clueless. But most times it is said with good intentions, so I usually give them a pass, unless they keep repeating.

[Anonymous]

Ah DCUM where you cannot:

Knock on your neighbor's door without an appointment because they don't like it.
Ask about summer plans because some people can't afford a trip.
Ask if about their spouse because their spouse might be: awful, dead, dying, nonexistent, a different gender.
Ask about their unusual name because they are named after their late father and that makes them sad.
Tell someone you are sorry for their loss because you really aren't sorry and/or it brings it back for them.
Fail to tell someone you are sorry for their loss because how will they know you care.
Ask what they do because that isn't their value.
Ask where they live because you are trying to see how much money they make.
And so on
And so on
And so on.

Do not attempt to get to know anyone under any circumstances. This is the most amazing collection of neurotic, narcissistic, antisocial weirdos I have ever seen in my life. You all need to be heavily medicated and soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, do you complain about Parenthood? I only respond that way to my friend who complains her only child is a bear.

NP. This is so annoying. People are allowed to complain whether they have one child or seven. Those of you who play the "I have it harder" card because you have more kids are obnoxious.

+100. I hate this too. "I have TWO kids and its so much harder!" STFU

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ah DCUM where you cannot:

Knock on your neighbor's door without an appointment because they don't like it.
Ask about summer plans because some people can't afford a trip.
Ask if about their spouse because their spouse might be: awful, dead, dying, nonexistent, a different gender.
Ask about their unusual name because they are named after their late father and that makes them sad.
Tell someone you are sorry for their loss because you really aren't sorry and/or it brings it back for them.
Fail to tell someone you are sorry for their loss because how will they know you care.
Ask what they do because that isn't their value.
Ask where they live because you are trying to see how much money they make.
And so on
And so on
And so on.

Do not attempt to get to know anyone under any circumstances. This is the most amazing collection of neurotic, narcissistic, antisocial weirdos I have ever seen in my life. You all need to be heavily medicated and soon.

You just can’t muster up another’s perspective

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ah DCUM where you cannot:

Knock on your neighbor's door without an appointment because they don't like it.
Ask about summer plans because some people can't afford a trip.
Ask if about their spouse because their spouse might be: awful, dead, dying, nonexistent, a different gender.
Ask about their unusual name because they are named after their late father and that makes them sad.
Tell someone you are sorry for their loss because you really aren't sorry and/or it brings it back for them.
Fail to tell someone you are sorry for their loss because how will they know you care.
Ask what they do because that isn't their value.
Ask where they live because you are trying to see how much money they make.
And so on
And so on
And so on.

Do not attempt to get to know anyone under any circumstances. This is the most amazing collection of neurotic, narcissistic, antisocial weirdos I have ever seen in my life. You all need to be heavily medicated and soon.

You just can’t muster up another’s perspective

Et tu.