Can you be elegant if you’re not elegant looking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And too much boob. Not elegant.

Keep blowing that dog whistle of yours. Elegant means white and rail thin, we got it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sadly you can be the most beautiful woman in the room but it will not matter unless you are THIN.

This just isn't true. And I say this as someone who recently went from a normal, not-overweight, tall size 8 to a skinny tall size 2. I'm able to pull off a more fashionable look and clothes generally look better on me now. But men appreciated my fuller body before the weight loss, I think, and I don't look any more elegant. In some cases I look less elegant- what's more feminine and evocative than a curvy figure in a black dress?

Christina Hendricks, Scarlett Johansson- these women define modern feminine elegance, and they are definitely not thin.

men couldn’t care less about ‘elegant’. they want sexy, pretty, cute, fun - none of which has much to do with elegance and is often kind of opposed to it.

if elegant doesn’t play to your natural strengths then be what you are meant to be and dress accordingly. I sometimes wish I was more ‘elegant’ but I am
Short and way too animated for that. and that’s ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can tell that, for some people, "elegance" is really just another code word.

Yep!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sadly you can be the most beautiful woman in the room but it will not matter unless you are THIN.

This just isn't true. And I say this as someone who recently went from a normal, not-overweight, tall size 8 to a skinny tall size 2. I'm able to pull off a more fashionable look and clothes generally look better on me now. But men appreciated my fuller body before the weight loss, I think, and I don't look any more elegant. In some cases I look less elegant- what's more feminine and evocative than a curvy figure in a black dress?

Christina Hendricks, Scarlett Johansson- these women define modern feminine elegance, and they are definitely not thin.

men couldn’t care less about ‘elegant’. they want sexy, pretty, cute, fun - none of which has much to do with elegance and is often kind of opposed to it.

if elegant doesn’t play to your natural strengths then be what you are meant to be and dress accordingly. I sometimes wish I was more ‘elegant’ but I am
Short and way too animated for that. and that’s ok.

Why are you bringing the male gaze and male attention into this? Who cares? I don't dress for men. I dress to please myself and to make the impression on the world that I want to make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sadly you can be the most beautiful woman in the room but it will not matter unless you are THIN.

This just isn't true. And I say this as someone who recently went from a normal, not-overweight, tall size 8 to a skinny tall size 2. I'm able to pull off a more fashionable look and clothes generally look better on me now. But men appreciated my fuller body before the weight loss, I think, and I don't look any more elegant. In some cases I look less elegant- what's more feminine and evocative than a curvy figure in a black dress?

Christina Hendricks, Scarlett Johansson- these women define modern feminine elegance, and they are definitely not thin.

men couldn’t care less about ‘elegant’. they want sexy, pretty, cute, fun - none of which has much to do with elegance and is often kind of opposed to it.

if elegant doesn’t play to your natural strengths then be what you are meant to be and dress accordingly. I sometimes wish I was more ‘elegant’ but I am
Short and way too animated for that. and that’s ok.

Why are you bringing the male gaze and male attention into this? Who cares? I don't dress for men. I dress to please myself and to make the impression on the world that I want to make.

but many women do dress for men or have men as one of their primary considerations. also, PP brought lack of men interest as some kind of evidence that thinness is related to elegance (it is to some extent, but also taller women tend to be more elegant at the same BMI). finally, if you only dress for yourself why do you care about being elegant? the notion of elegance is based on social judgment.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, but in that first pic of dolled up Lena Dunham, she was at her thinnest and it is very obviously photoshopped to make her look taller and even thinner than she was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can tell that, for some people, "elegance" is really just another code word.

Yep!

I’m guessing I’m one of the pp that you might be referencing because of my comment on Oprah. But I wasn’t focusing on traditionally Caucasian skinny white chick looks. I think Lupita Nyong’o is naturally elegant and one of the most beautiful actresses I can name.

I guess it boils down to how you carry yourself - shoulders back, chin up. Being a healthy shape for you. Well fit clothing leaning towards conservative (meaning you don’t need to show off your assets to grab attention), regardless of style. An easiness and natural beauty without excessive makeup to get you there. And confidence.

I guess understated and natural beauty with a focus on presentation is always elegant to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can tell that, for some people, "elegance" is really just another code word.

Yep!

I’m guessing I’m one of the pp that you might be referencing because of my comment on Oprah. But I wasn’t focusing on traditionally Caucasian skinny white chick looks. I think Lupita Nyong’o is naturally elegant and one of the most beautiful actresses I can name.

I guess it boils down to how you carry yourself - shoulders back, chin up. Being a healthy shape for you. Well fit clothing leaning towards conservative (meaning you don’t need to show off your assets to grab attention), regardless of style. An easiness and natural beauty without excessive makeup to get you there. And confidence.

I guess understated and natural beauty with a focus on presentation is always elegant to me.

Let me just guess: despite carrying herself with confidence--shoulders back, chin up--being in healthy shape and well-fit clothing leaning toward conservative (for evening wear), natural beauty without excessive confidence, that you wouldn't consider this woman to be elegant:



Gee, I wonder why.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Still not elegant enough for you Nancy?

[Anonymous]

I'd never really thought about it before, but it's true I associate elegance with a combination of slenderness, poise, and polish. Gemma Chan and Ruth Negga are two examples that come to mind now. I'm having trouble thinking of any white women I think of as elegant. I would describe Martha Stewart and Ina Garten, examples cited above, as polished rather than elegant per se. Not always stick-thin though-- Diahann Carroll is extremely elegant.

In general though, I guess I've been socialized to think of elegance tied to a certain body type. Maybe because it's easier for skinny women to wear almost any cut of clothing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd never really thought about it before, but it's true I associate elegance with a combination of slenderness, poise, and polish. Gemma Chan and Ruth Negga are two examples that come to mind now. I'm having trouble thinking of any white women I think of as elegant. I would describe Martha Stewart and Ina Garten, examples cited above, as polished rather than elegant per se. Not always stick-thin though-- Diahann Carroll is extremely elegant.

In general though, I guess I've been socialized to think of elegance tied to a certain body type. Maybe because it's easier for skinny women to wear almost any cut of clothing?

It’s because majority of women in United States are afraid to experience with style. I always feel like American women come to the store and ask to give something nobody notice them in.

[Anonymous]

NP- Because someone doesn't consider Oprah or Serena Williams "elegant" doesn't make them racist. Stop it. Oprah looks like a disaster often and Serena Williams has a masculine physique and poor clothing taste- and that dress doesn't fit her well ether. Wearing a ball gown doesn't make you elegant, and neither does skin color. There are elegant women of all colors and we all have different taste in what the criteria is- but no one here has said "white" is one of them. Please stop accusing total strangers that disagree with you about beauty and elegance that their opinion is racist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that Queen Latifah is almost always elegant and the Olsen twins are never.

Yep. Queen Latifah knows how to dress and carry herself. She’s almost always elegant.