how to help mentally ill brother, his wife who is sick of it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:back again. i feel like every day there is a new gut punch in this situation. SIL has told my bro she is filing for divorce.

then today my brother learns she told a former coworker/friend of his that he has mental health issues, something he had definitely not shared with him. in my book, this has now gone well beyond decent behavior -- spreading personal health information to former coworkers could affect his ability to find work in the future, right? isn't this slander?

It's not nice to share information that your brother would prefer be kept private, but it's not slander. Also, it's the truth.

The best thing your brother could do is work hard to get well and ignore the rest of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:back again. i feel like every day there is a new gut punch in this situation. SIL has told my bro she is filing for divorce.

then today my brother learns she told a former coworker/friend of his that he has mental health issues, something he had definitely not shared with him. in my book, this has now gone well beyond decent behavior -- spreading personal health information to former coworkers could affect his ability to find work in the future, right? isn't this slander?

Unfortunate, but it happens.

As the sister of a seriously mental ill person, I know I have a "back of my mind" plan for what I'll do if my sister gets divorced and needs me to take care of her.
You may need to get a plan like that too.

Also, you need therapy. I've gotten it for a year to help me figure out how to set appropriate boundaries. It's not easy to do with a mentally ill sibling. But you've gotta start somewhere.

Wishing you peace, one sibling of a mentally ill person to another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:back again. i feel like every day there is a new gut punch in this situation. SIL has told my bro she is filing for divorce.

then today my brother learns she told a former coworker/friend of his that he has mental health issues, something he had definitely not shared with him. in my book, this has now gone well beyond decent behavior -- spreading personal health information to former coworkers could affect his ability to find work in the future, right? isn't this slander?

Your brother is seriously ill. You need to give up on the fantasy that this will be resolved without other people becoming aware of it. He does, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again _ to the person who asked about what I meant by money back from spouse. Both names on lease, his 5k/month disability payment goes to their joint account but she's cut off his access to it _ I just wonder how he's supposed to get food/find a place to live with zero access to any money, even his disability payments? My limited understanding of family law is she can do whatever she wants with the money but can't kick him out of place without abuse (She says there has been none). He doesn't want to force himself into home if she doesn't want him there but even so _ how is he supposed to live if she's cut off his access to accounts?

He can change the account that the money is deposited to, but...judges really dislike it when a parent is not contributing financially to the cost of caring for the child.