Another kid broke my son's jaw

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do nothing but go to your son. Find out exactly what he says happened, what he thinks is best, talk to the RA. What the other kid did was assault and battery.

So was touching the other kid's head.

And yes, if a guy won't stop touching you, a punch is the proper response.

Touching someone’s head is quite offensive if they are not in a personal relationship with them.

[Anonymous]

Does your son have ADHD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I agree you need to go to help your son.

How or whether you ultimately decide to move forward, 1) I'm surprised the school isn't already investigating or has a report on file. A kid was injured in the dorm seriously enough to be taken to the ER.

2) What's the other kid's reaction? Is he remorseful? It sounds like horseplay that got out of hand. A normal reaction would be regret and guilt that someone was seriously injured.

I’m sure his parents got a different story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wasn’t your son the instigator?

Suppose so. Seems like a broken jaw may be taking it a bit far. Anger management issues perhaps?

Anger - and indeed, a punch in the face - is justified if some guy won't stop touching you. No man will, or should, put up with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do nothing but go to your son. Find out exactly what he says happened, what he thinks is best, talk to the RA. What the other kid did was assault and battery.

So was touching the other kid's head.

And yes, if a guy won't stop touching you, a punch is the proper response.

That is just demented. Punch is almost never a proper response unless one feels truly threatened.
Punch is basically a last resort and usually something I would not expect from educated, civilized person.

Repeatedly touching me is not what I expect from an educated, civilized person, either.

You're a woman, right? You don't get how it works with guys. Every guy knows, with other guys, that if you cross a certain line, verbally or physically, the guy is going to punch you. If some guy repeatedly touched me, I am definitely going to punch him. And I have a PhD, so plenty educated and civilized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WAs the other kid horsing around too, or did he punch your son in anger?

How does your son want to handle it? Does he feel this kid is a threat to him? You need more info. But a lunch that isviokent enough to break a jaw is serious. I’d think the perpetrator is a loose cannon and would not want my kid anywhere near him. School authorities should probably be made aware, at the very least.

Yeah, where are the school administrators in all this?

I was an RA too. I can’t imagine the school administrators not being very involved in all of this. A broken jaw on school premises is a big deal. Presumably there was an ambulance involved and they had to have an adult administrator present while he was in the hospital.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wasn’t your son the instigator?

Suppose so. Seems like a broken jaw may be taking it a bit far. Anger management issues perhaps?

Maybe but what are you looking for?

Not sure, that's obviously why I posted here. I'm upset some kid broke my son's jaw as I'm sure any parent would be. There were 5 other kids there so I'm sure I will be getting all sides of the story. I'm not looking for retribution or revenge. But I do think the kid should be held responsible for inflicting a serious injury. Apparently most of you would just let it go and that's fine. I'm just not sure what to do.

Then your kid should be held responsible for instigating. I get that as a mom this is tough. But your son caused this. You need to let it go.

No, based on the version presented here, he most certainly did not cause it. A punch that caused this result is way out of proportion (again, from the version we have). A criminal complaint and lawyer for a civil suit should be explored. Damages could easily reach 500k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is in college; he is 18. He lives in a dorm and was screwing around with kids in his dorm; he touched another kid's head, then did it again and the other kid punched him in the face and broke his jaw. This was not a fight, just teens screwing around. There was no alcohol involved. I'm not sure how to handle this. My son goes to school OOS, I do not know this other kid. My son went to the ED, had a CAT scan and will be followed up by a specialist. This will likely be rather expensive. I don't know if we should have him call the police and file a report, or just try to contact the other kid's parents. I'm inclined to not just let this go. WWYD? Thanks.

So your kid TWICE laid your hands on another person, that person retaliated and you think they should pay for it all? Good luck lady

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wasn’t your son the instigator?

Suppose so. Seems like a broken jaw may be taking it a bit far. Anger management issues perhaps?

Maybe but what are you looking for?

Not sure, that's obviously why I posted here. I'm upset some kid broke my son's jaw as I'm sure any parent would be. There were 5 other kids there so I'm sure I will be getting all sides of the story. I'm not looking for retribution or revenge. But I do think the kid should be held responsible for inflicting a serious injury. Apparently most of you would just let it go and that's fine. I'm just not sure what to do.

Then your kid should be held responsible for instigating. I get that as a mom this is tough. But your son caused this. You need to let it go.

No, based on the version presented here, he most certainly did not cause it. A punch that caused this result is way out of proportion (again, from the version we have). A criminal complaint and lawyer for a civil suit should be explored. Damages could easily reach 500k.

Yes a very hard punch can break someone’s jaw but so can random punches that hit just right. For all we know this could have been a big guy that punched him. I’m a petite woman and I broke someone’s wrist by accident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WAs the other kid horsing around too, or did he punch your son in anger?

How does your son want to handle it? Does he feel this kid is a threat to him? You need more info. But a lunch that isviokent enough to break a jaw is serious. I’d think the perpetrator is a loose cannon and would not want my kid anywhere near him. School authorities should probably be made aware, at the very least.

Yeah, where are the school administrators in all this?

I was an RA too. I can’t imagine the school administrators not being very involved in all of this. A broken jaw on school premises is a big deal. Presumably there was an ambulance involved and they had to have an adult administrator present while he was in the hospital.

+1

Punch may seem justified in some people’s minds, but not according to any university I know. I predict that kid gets thrown out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wasn’t your son the instigator?

Suppose so. Seems like a broken jaw may be taking it a bit far. Anger management issues perhaps?

Maybe but what are you looking for?

Not sure, that's obviously why I posted here. I'm upset some kid broke my son's jaw as I'm sure any parent would be. There were 5 other kids there so I'm sure I will be getting all sides of the story. I'm not looking for retribution or revenge. But I do think the kid should be held responsible for inflicting a serious injury. Apparently most of you would just let it go and that's fine. I'm just not sure what to do.

Then your kid should be held responsible for instigating. I get that as a mom this is tough. But your son caused this. You need to let it go.

No, based on the version presented here, he most certainly did not cause it. A punch that caused this result is way out of proportion (again, from the version we have). A criminal complaint and lawyer for a civil suit should be explored. Damages could easily reach 500k.

+1
That is what I saw when I read this.

[Anonymous]

Both of these adult men will get thrown out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do nothing but go to your son. Find out exactly what he says happened, what he thinks is best, talk to the RA. What the other kid did was assault and battery. You don’t get to punch someone one when touched on the head. Period. I am not saying to press charges but perhaps this kid needs to be moved dorms (or your son) if their is hostility. If there is remorse then follow your son’s directions. I personally would not care so much about the financial aspect because we can afford to cover but I don’t know your situation.

If you think OP's son only touched the kid's head, you obviously don't have 18 yr old boys.

This. Or he was like flicking him on the head and the kid said knock it off and he did it again and the kid punched. There is a HUGE possiblity that this other kid feels terrible. Breaking a jaw is both incredibly difficult and incredibly easy, if you hit at the exact right angle it doesn't take much force at all. Hitting at other angles and most people can take a shot without much but soreness. Kid probably didn't know how "lucky" a shot he landed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both of these adult men will get thrown out.

Which is why OP ought to be cautious about involving the university authorities. It’s not their job to provide “justice”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do nothing but go to your son. Find out exactly what he says happened, what he thinks is best, talk to the RA. What the other kid did was assault and battery.

So was touching the other kid's head.

And yes, if a guy won't stop touching you, a punch is the proper response.

That is just demented. Punch is almost never a proper response unless one feels truly threatened.
Punch is basically a last resort and usually something I would not expect from educated, civilized person.

Repeatedly touching me is not what I expect from an educated, civilized person, either.

You're a woman, right? You don't get how it works with guys. Every guy knows, with other guys, that if you cross a certain line, verbally or physically, the guy is going to punch you. If some guy repeatedly touched me, I am definitely going to punch him. And I have a PhD, so plenty educated and civilized.

+1

I'm a woman with a PhD and if a guy touched me repeatedly against my wishes then you'd better believe I'd be hitting him pretty hard to get him away from me.

Not sure why it should be any different for guys. I teach both my boys and my girl that unwanted touching is not okay, and that they're entitled to use force to get someone away from them if necessary.

It's different if the other guy in question totally went to town on OP's kid and landed him in the ICU with several injuries, but I don't think you can complain about one punch that happened to be a lucky shot. OP just needs to teach her son that no means no.