Another kid broke my son's jaw

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is in college; he is 18. He lives in a dorm and was screwing around with kids in his dorm; he touched another kid's head, then did it again and the other kid punched him in the face and broke his jaw. This was not a fight, just teens screwing around. There was no alcohol involved. I'm not sure how to handle this. My son goes to school OOS, I do not know this other kid. My son went to the ED, had a CAT scan and will be followed up by a specialist. This will likely be rather expensive. I don't know if we should have him call the police and file a report, or just try to contact the other kid's parents. I'm inclined to not just let this go. WWYD? Thanks.

Nope it wasn’t “teen’s” fooling around - it was adults fooling around

And you are probably lucky no one called the cops or your DS and the other kid could have ended charged with something as adults

[Anonymous]

Op, your son should tell his advisor or the appropriate admin contact at school. I don’t mean in order to get the other guy in trouble but to start a paper trail and whatever is needed bc your son will likely be missing classes, may need extensions if he has any oral exams, etc. not sure when finals will be coming up but he may need extensions depending on the surgery he needs, etc. I wouldn’t push it trying to get the other person to pay or anything bc your son was admittedly the instigator.

[Anonymous]

Do nothing but go to your son. Find out exactly what he says happened, what he thinks is best, talk to the RA. What the other kid did was assault and battery. You don’t get to punch someone one when touched on the head. Period. I am not saying to press charges but perhaps this kid needs to be moved dorms (or your son) if their is hostility. If there is remorse then follow your son’s directions. I personally would not care so much about the financial aspect because we can afford to cover but I don’t know your situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do nothing but go to your son. Find out exactly what he says happened, what he thinks is best, talk to the RA. What the other kid did was assault and battery. You don’t get to punch someone one when touched on the head. Period. I am not saying to press charges but perhaps this kid needs to be moved dorms (or your son) if their is hostility. If there is remorse then follow your son’s directions. I personally would not care so much about the financial aspect because we can afford to cover but I don’t know your situation.

If you think OP's son only touched the kid's head, you obviously don't have 18 yr old boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is in college; he is 18. He lives in a dorm and was screwing around with kids in his dorm; he touched another kid's head, then did it again and the other kid punched him in the face and broke his jaw. This was not a fight, just teens screwing around. There was no alcohol involved. I'm not sure how to handle this. My son goes to school OOS, I do not know this other kid. My son went to the ED, had a CAT scan and will be followed up by a specialist. This will likely be rather expensive. I don't know if we should have him call the police and file a report, or just try to contact the other kid's parents. I'm inclined to not just let this go. WWYD? Thanks.

If it was not a fight, why would you consider a police report? If it was kids screwing around and no alcohol (you understand the skepticism here right?) you are presumably regarding the injury as essentially accidental.

Thinking back to college, I had a friend who developed thyroid cancer in our junior year, a guy I dated previously got drunk and fell off a balcony breaking HIS jaw, I broke a wrist horsing around with friends, somebody else I knew had an emergency appendectomy, another friend had a nasty case of mono and spent a month in bed, one guy (who always skipped breakfast) actually was diagnosed with scurvy. Nobody's parents flew out. Everyone had health insurance (the school required proof and if not you have to pay into their student health insurance policy).

Mono is nbd. Jaw surgery gone wrong is a real thing. I’m not overprotective but I wouldn’t want my kid undergoing surgery without another adult or preferably me there. Major issues can happen and no one should be left alone in the hospital. I’m the daughter of a doctor.

[Anonymous]

I think DH would have punched a guy in college who touched his head TWICE, knowing it was unwanted touching.

[Anonymous]

You don’t need to go out there, unless there’s more than a broken jaw involved. When I was 18 my dorm friend flipped me over his back as a joke. I’m a short girl; he’s a tall guy; we’d been drinking, just like I’m sure your son and his friends were. Ended up with a broken shoulder.

My folks never would’ve expected me to ask them to fly across the country or filed suit against my friend or done anything equally hysterical. I went to the hospital; I negotiated for assignment extensions on my own. It was a learning experience, as they say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is in college; he is 18. He lives in a dorm and was screwing around with kids in his dorm; he touched another kid's head, then did it again and the other kid punched him in the face and broke his jaw. This was not a fight, just teens screwing around. There was no alcohol involved. I'm not sure how to handle this. My son goes to school OOS, I do not know this other kid. My son went to the ED, had a CAT scan and will be followed up by a specialist. This will likely be rather expensive. I don't know if we should have him call the police and file a report, or just try to contact the other kid's parents. I'm inclined to not just let this go. WWYD? Thanks.

If it was not a fight, why would you consider a police report? If it was kids screwing around and no alcohol (you understand the skepticism here right?) you are presumably regarding the injury as essentially accidental.

Thinking back to college, I had a friend who developed thyroid cancer in our junior year, a guy I dated previously got drunk and fell off a balcony breaking HIS jaw, I broke a wrist horsing around with friends, somebody else I knew had an emergency appendectomy, another friend had a nasty case of mono and spent a month in bed, one guy (who always skipped breakfast) actually was diagnosed with scurvy. Nobody's parents flew out. Everyone had health insurance (the school required proof and if not you have to pay into their student health insurance policy).

I'd fly out just to make sure that the practitioners were adequate especially with something like a jaw - if it is not done well and properly there could be lifelong consequences. Also there is nothing wrong with going to help take care of someone when they are sick and injured if you can do it. My husband flew to be with his mother each time to be with her during her knee replacements and hip replacement. She could afford paid help but it was great comfort to have her son there.

[Anonymous]

You go there to talk to the medical professionals and see what continuing care is needed. That part is not helicoptering. You also talk to your son point blank about what you should do about this. I know with my kid once I start talking “real” (in this case be it contacting authorities, managing liability of medical claims, etc) I often get a MUCH different story! He will be far more likely to tell the whole truth knowing that the sh**’s about to hit the fan when you start using his side of the story to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do nothing but go to your son. Find out exactly what he says happened, what he thinks is best, talk to the RA. What the other kid did was assault and battery.

So was touching the other kid's head.

And yes, if a guy won't stop touching you, a punch is the proper response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP people are being mean as usual. You don’t really know what happened but you will find out when you get there. I feel for your son. I’m very sorry you are going through this.

+1

You might want to bring it up in university court. It sounds like the other kid used excessive force and needs counseling, at the very last, to control his temper. I would suggest suspension. No words or actions necessitate breaking someone's jaw. Have you talked to a lawyer in that geographical area yet? Might be worth getting a couple of legal opinions. You do not want that other kid thinking it is okay to break people's jaws - his parents failed him. If he thinks he can break people's jaws, what could possibly be next. He needs help. This isn't preschool, it's college - you don't go around beating people up.

I wouldn't involve those idiots. They do not have the OP's son's best interests in mind. They might well decide "both are to blame, both are expelled" or something equally asinine. At the very least I would expect them to suspend the OP's son for touching the other kid.

[Anonymous]

Ever heard of 'start sh*t, get hit'???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do nothing but go to your son. Find out exactly what he says happened, what he thinks is best, talk to the RA. What the other kid did was assault and battery.

So was touching the other kid's head.

And yes, if a guy won't stop touching you, a punch is the proper response.

That is just demented. Punch is almost never a proper response unless one feels truly threatened.
Punch is basically a last resort and usually something I would not expect from educated, civilized person.

[Anonymous]

https://people.howstuffworks.com/when-legal-punch-someone-face.htm

[Anonymous]

I’m sure the other guy didn’t mean to break the son’s jaw but he was just trying stop OP from assaulting him further because OP’s son wasn’t stopping after the first hit.