S/o why are families that live in apartments looked down on?

[Anonymous]

"Exactly! IMO, lots of people rent precisely *because* they value their kids' education, so they rent in order to be able to live in a better school district (however they define that) than the one they could afford to buy in."

+1 For example, many teachers in MCPS end up doing this.

[Anonymous]

I never even knew this was a thing.
My kids have friends across all socioeconomic backgrounds & have a few friends who's families are affiliated with NIH & are in this country exclusively for their work there. Sometimes we don't necessarily speak the same language, but we get by with the help from kids translating, lol. However, the common denominator I've noticed with all of them when I've been invited to their apartments, is that they always take such pride in their homes!

My kids have friends who's families live 5 people in a 2 bedroom apt, but their homes always feel so warm, personable & inviting, where as they have other friends who's parents own huge homes & they sometimes can feel cold, impersonal & like I've stumbled into a Crate & Barrel showroom or a museum.

I dont think anyone should generalize/criticize someone else's living situation based on what type of home they live in, as you have no idea what goes on behind closed doors.
If you're asking me if I'd rather live in a cramped 2BR apartment w/5 people & my family is happy, close & loving, or that I could live in a big home, but my family MAY not be as happy or content there for whatever unknown reason, I'm choosing the apt every day of the week.

A SFH doesn't emphatically mean that those who live there are happy, there's NO one size fits all living situation.

[Anonymous]

^^ Me again ^^

Now that I've read through these opinions & had time to let it saturate, I'd be curious to know your thoughts on our living situation....

Late last year we were casually looking at homes for sale & we found one that we absolutely loved in a great (comparable) neighborhood that's less than a mile away from our home.

We quickly placed our house on the market, as we were concerned that we'd get stuck paying two mortgages if ours didn't sell right away... well, it did. We also made an offer on the other home & after some additional bids from other buyers, the homeowners accepted our offer.

Our home also had a few offers and we accepted one we felt great about & went into contract.

To make a long story short... the sellers backed out of our deal at the 11th hour for financial reasons, however our home went into closing & sold a few days before that (we genuinely liked the family buying our home & we didn't want to screw them over the way we had just been, so we just moved).

Instead of panicking & trying to find something else to buy right away, we decided to rent a house in the same neighborhood we almost bought in (a great family neighborhood consisting of about 300 homes surrounding the local elementary school). We signed a lease for one year & have the option to extend if we'd like.
I just felt better giving ourselves the time to rationally find a home that we'll love, rather than grabbing something we're not entirely sure of out of fear that we'll have nowhere else to go.

We lived in our previous home for 10 years, so most people know that we owned it because we did extensive renovations when we first bought it. Nobody has asked us the dreaded "why" would we move less than a mile away & into a smaller rental (they may not know it's a rental though as it's still a SFH, but I guess if they were curious enough they could check Zillow & see). Although, my daughter used to ride the bus but now she's a walker, so plenty of friends/classmates/parents see us walking home & in the opposite direction from our previous home every day.

I'm friendly with everyone, but I work from home so I never have the time to stop & chit-chat at pick up with the other moms. That being said, I've never really been stopped & asked WHY we moved to a rental/ smaller home, etc.

Now reading about this ridiculous stigma some people attach to rentals, apartments & TH's, I'm honestly curious if there are assumptions being made as to why we moved out of a home that we've owned for 10 years & into a rental?

I don't care what they think either way - I'll still sleep sound tonight.
However, because this mindset is so far removed from my own, I'm just curious as to the thought process of those who do attach this stigma to apts/rentals?

[Anonymous]

PP how would they even know your current home is a rental? I'm confused.

This weekend I've been thinking about the possibility of a coop or condo after realizing I'm priced out of SFHs in the kinds of locations I like, and wonder how that compares to renting. Will I be disappointed if my first "house purchase" is the same size as my current apartment, with no extra bathroom or basement for kids to play in while adults chat? When we talk about renting vs owning how much of it is the finances and sense of permanence, and how much of it is just imagining family life as about some minimum amount of space, as most rentals are smaller than SFHs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP how would they even know your current home is a rental? I'm confused.

This weekend I've been thinking about the possibility of a coop or condo after realizing I'm priced out of SFHs in the kinds of locations I like, and wonder how that compares to renting. Will I be disappointed if my first "house purchase" is the same size as my current apartment, with no extra bathroom or basement for kids to play in while adults chat? When we talk about renting vs owning how much of it is the finances and sense of permanence, and how much of it is just imagining family life as about some minimum amount of space, as most rentals are smaller than SFHs?

DP. I don't get it either. All anybody knows is: you used to live over there, and now you live over here.

Other PP - There are single-family-detached and attached houses for rent, in addition to apartments for rent. There are also condos for buying - including condos that are larger than single-family-detached or attached houses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP how would they even know your current home is a rental? I'm confused.

This weekend I've been thinking about the possibility of a coop or condo after realizing I'm priced out of SFHs in the kinds of locations I like, and wonder how that compares to renting. Will I be disappointed if my first "house purchase" is the same size as my current apartment, with no extra bathroom or basement for kids to play in while adults chat? When we talk about renting vs owning how much of it is the finances and sense of permanence, and how much of it is just imagining family life as about some minimum amount of space, as most rentals are smaller than SFHs?

DP. I don't get it either. All anybody knows is: you used to live over there, and now you live over here.

Other PP - There are single-family-detached and attached houses for rent, in addition to apartments for rent. There are also condos for buying - including condos that are larger than single-family-detached or attached houses.

I have no doubt some of the more curious mothers wanted to know WHY we would move from a much larger house that we fully renovated to exactly the way we wanted it, to a house more than half the size smaller than our old one & its easy to find out it's a rental (I guess it's only natural to wonder something like that).

If they looked up my new address on Zillow (and I don't put it past them to check) towards the bottom of the page, they can see the pricing history. That will show them all of the dates/amounts this house was listed for prior to us renting it & it will also show the date/amount we paid when we started renting it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP how would they even know your current home is a rental? I'm confused.

This weekend I've been thinking about the possibility of a coop or condo after realizing I'm priced out of SFHs in the kinds of locations I like, and wonder how that compares to renting. Will I be disappointed if my first "house purchase" is the same size as my current apartment, with no extra bathroom or basement for kids to play in while adults chat? When we talk about renting vs owning how much of it is the finances and sense of permanence, and how much of it is just imagining family life as about some minimum amount of space, as most rentals are smaller than SFHs?

DP. I don't get it either. All anybody knows is: you used to live over there, and now you live over here.

Other PP - There are single-family-detached and attached houses for rent, in addition to apartments for rent. There are also condos for buying - including condos that are larger than single-family-detached or attached houses.

I have no doubt some of the more curious mothers wanted to know WHY we would move from a much larger house that we fully renovated to exactly the way we wanted it, to a house more than half the size smaller than our old one & its easy to find out it's a rental (I guess it's only natural to wonder something like that).

If they looked up my new address on Zillow (and I don't put it past them to check) towards the bottom of the page, they can see the pricing history. That will show them all of the dates/amounts this house was listed for prior to us renting it & it will also show the date/amount we paid when we started renting it.

There certainly are nosy people in the world, but in general, I think that other people are much less interested in your living conditions than you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's because apartments are where section 8 housing vouchers mostly go. While I don't always agree with apartment = poor, our local school's rating dropped when a new apartment complex opened. The apartments aren't even that cheap, but I think they're the cheapest thing that low income people can afford in this area and multiple families are living in each apartment.

The 2 bolded are why people do not want apartments in their school zone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, apartments mean lots of people in not a lot of space.

At least from my perspective. In my head, it just leads to over crowded. I don’t care if it’s rich over crowding or poor over crowding. Too many kids in a class, is too many kids.

Most of Europe is much denser, from a housing standpoint, and they have average primary school class sizes that are equivalent to what we have (mid-20s) or smaller (https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/183364/DFE-RR169.pdf). Secondary school class sizes are more like the low 20s.

But we aren’t in Europe

My point is that PP is wrong that lots of kids in apartments = overcrowding.

What an illogical argument.

You cannot argue that because European apartments don't equal overcrowded schools that the same holds true in the US.

Europeans have smaller families.

People in the US in DC living in apartments often have multiple kids or multiple families in an apartment designed and zoned for a family of 2 or 3, resulting in severely overcrowded schools and the decline that goes with too much concentrated poverty.

Your " but, but IEurope is completely illogical and laughable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I seriously wish this country had never started this test score obsession, back with No Child Left Behind. It is morally appalling that people are making or losing money based on the test scores of the kids in the local school. “Have a good day today, honey, and try hard on that test because I stand to earn a 10% increase in my property values if you do.” Or, even more appallingly, “Oh no, some Hispanic neighbors moved in. Their kids won’t score high enough on the tests and I’m going to lose 10% of my property values. Time to move out.”

Dh and I kind of joke that the best thing we could do for property values would be to hold signs and pass out breakfast before exam day at our elementary school. We joke that the signs would say "You got this! My house value is counting on you!"

I don't think it's funny though. Imagine looking at a child who's struggling to learn to read or a child who is just learning English and saying to yourself, "you're taking money out of my pocket."

I think the grading should be changed. If you can't speak english, your scores shouldn't count! Maybe there should be Pre-K for ESOL kids to help catch them up.

You don't have kids in schools yet, do you?

There is extensive outreach and enrichment given to kids who don't speak English.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really was uncomfortable when my DD had a playdate in middle school and I found out that the single mom's boyfriend was at home during the playdate. I don't mind single moms. I do mind boyfriends.

And this is different than a day or stepdad how??? Does signing a piece of paper magically make someone less likely to sexually assault someone? Do you just not like unrelated men around your child? How about male teachers??

Yes.

Mom's boyfriend being around is the single biggest risk factor for child molestation and abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's because apartments are where section 8 housing vouchers mostly go. While I don't always agree with apartment = poor, our local school's rating dropped when a new apartment complex opened. The apartments aren't even that cheap, but I think they're the cheapest thing that low income people can afford in this area and multiple families are living in each apartment.

The 2 bolded are why people do not want apartments in their school zone.

Multiple families can, and do, also live in houses with yards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I seriously wish this country had never started this test score obsession, back with No Child Left Behind. It is morally appalling that people are making or losing money based on the test scores of the kids in the local school. “Have a good day today, honey, and try hard on that test because I stand to earn a 10% increase in my property values if you do.” Or, even more appallingly, “Oh no, some Hispanic neighbors moved in. Their kids won’t score high enough on the tests and I’m going to lose 10% of my property values. Time to move out.”

Dh and I kind of joke that the best thing we could do for property values would be to hold signs and pass out breakfast before exam day at our elementary school. We joke that the signs would say "You got this! My house value is counting on you!"

I don't think it's funny though. Imagine looking at a child who's struggling to learn to read or a child who is just learning English and saying to yourself, "you're taking money out of my pocket."

I think the grading should be changed. If you can't speak english, your scores shouldn't count! Maybe there should be Pre-K for ESOL kids to help catch them up.

You don't have kids in schools yet, do you?

There is extensive outreach and enrichment given to kids who don't speak English.

Our DCPS is great because of Esol kids. Nobody can beat them in math and they are in top 5 language arts by 3rd grade. They do deserve different grading from American born kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really was uncomfortable when my DD had a playdate in middle school and I found out that the single mom's boyfriend was at home during the playdate. I don't mind single moms. I do mind boyfriends.

And this is different than a day or stepdad how??? Does signing a piece of paper magically make someone less likely to sexually assault someone? Do you just not like unrelated men around your child? How about male teachers??

Yes.

Mom's boyfriend being around is the single biggest risk factor for child molestation and abuse.

Actual statistics from a reputable source, please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's because apartments are where section 8 housing vouchers mostly go. While I don't always agree with apartment = poor, our local school's rating dropped when a new apartment complex opened. The apartments aren't even that cheap, but I think they're the cheapest thing that low income people can afford in this area and multiple families are living in each apartment.

The 2 bolded are why people do not want apartments in their school zone.

Multiple families can, and do, also live in houses with yards.

But less likely to.