S/o why are families that live in apartments looked down on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Because unfortunately in some people's minds, the following is true:

Apartment (or renting or townhouse) = poor = parents who don't value education = people who make their kid's school worse

Sadly, too many people do make this ridiculous assumption. My son's friend told him he must be poor because our family lives in a townhouse. It's a $700k townhouse that we chose because it was less than 10 years old, has a 2-car garage, and backs to a park. The comment really bothered me, and I'm not proud but I did check property records and found that the friend's family paid the same as we did for their 1950s SFH with a bad kitchen and no garage.

PP here. They're just ignorant about it. Our TH cost $650K and we put an additional $100K into renovating it. It's 3,000 sq. ft. with 5 bedrooms, 4.5 bathrooms, a small backyard, detached garage, etc. It backs to a playground.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry if this is in the wrong place. It seems like in every thread in the MD Public School forum, when a school is mentioned people will tell them to avoid it because there’s kids that live in apartments that attend. Why is this an issue? I’m currently living in an apartment and this is disappointing to know that certain parents wouldn’t want their kid around mine just because of her address.

OP how old is your kid, do you think this is happening, and are you seeing an impact on your kid?

My child is 5. I do think it’s happening, especially when it comes to planning play dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Because unfortunately in some people's minds, the following is true:

Apartment (or renting or townhouse) = poor = parents who don't value education = people who make their kid's school worse

Sadly, too many people do make this ridiculous assumption. My son's friend told him he must be poor because our family lives in a townhouse. It's a $700k townhouse that we chose because it was less than 10 years old, has a 2-car garage, and backs to a park. The comment really bothered me, and I'm not proud but I did check property records and found that the friend's family paid the same as we did for their 1950s SFH with a bad kitchen and no garage.

PP here. They're just ignorant about it. Our TH cost $650K and we put an additional $100K into renovating it. It's 3,000 sq. ft. with 5 bedrooms, 4.5 bathrooms, a small backyard, detached garage, etc. It backs to a playground.

I don't think that "You shouldn't look down on us because our attached house cost a lot of money!" necessarily addresses the underlying issues.

[Anonymous]

It's sad and disgusting to me.

I live in Bethesda and sit on my kids' school PTA board. I've heard ignorant and discriminatory comments about families living in the downtown apartments, which is ironic given how some of them as so expensive!

And I used to live in a large European city. Everybody lives in apartments over there!

Sigh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It's sad and disgusting to me.

I live in Bethesda and sit on my kids' school PTA board. I've heard ignorant and discriminatory comments about families living in the downtown apartments, which is ironic given how some of them as so expensive!

And I used to live in a large European city. Everybody lives in apartments over there!

Sigh.

Haha. Yeah, that's what's funny. They don't realize how different things are in the rest of the world. In England for example, many middle class people (esp. in the 50s/60s) lived in what we would consider project housing (government-built and subsidized housing). There's much less shame there in living in those houses than there is about project housing here.

[Anonymous]

There's definitely some ignorance and condescension about these things especially in some corners of the county.

[Anonymous]

I used to live in Alexandria and I lived in a nice apartment community off Rt. 1. My DS went to preschool in the area and we invited a kid over for a playdate. The mom said "I had no idea these places along Rt. 1 were decent!" OMG. I guess she hadn't googled our address before she agreed to bring her son over. She asked about my DH and I told her I was a single mother. She never accepted another invitation to come over again and never invited my DS over to her place. I had more education than she did but apparently a single mother living in an apartment was a deal breaker for her.

[Anonymous]

Ah, but it's funny: I've seen the argument made many times here that if those of us in non-wealthy areas *truly* valued our children's education, we'd live in a tiny apartment in a W district, rather than a SFH in the DCC or wherever.

So, really, the only acceptable answer is to be rich enough to afford a SFH in a highly-ranked school district. Unsurprising.

[Anonymous]

What happened to just considering the kid's character and not what the parents do or own?!
Grown-ups are stupid. I grew up in lower class and several parents told their kids not to play with me from time to time. I still remember it. I don't know if the parents do remember saying it (their kids repeated it to me) but they treat me like gold when I visit their children now.
I won't bring it up because they clearly have changed (maybe faking it)and my friends and I have great memories from the time we were allowed to play together.
Our condo building is full of highly educated people with kids in local school. Some families own several apartments in the building.
Our kids are just as capable and smart as the ones in houses. They speak several languages and travel abroad a lot to see family.
Let the kids choose their friends and don't make stupid comments like my DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In NYC this is not an issue. Anyone with any sense knows that there’s a huge range of apartment types and quality. In any case, being poor is not a sin.

Exactly. I live in the suburbs and own my home. I have 5 year plans of relocating downtown to an apartment that costs more than my house.

In DC it's not really an issue either (or at least in downtown DC where we relocated from). All the kids live in apartments (except for a few who might be in rowhouses.)

[Anonymous]

I feel like this is an outdated belief around here, and the people who believe it tend to be older and from the exurbs (like Western Loudoun).

-Old Town resident

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ah, but it's funny: I've seen the argument made many times here that if those of us in non-wealthy areas *truly* valued our children's education, we'd live in a tiny apartment in a W district, rather than a SFH in the DCC or wherever.

So, really, the only acceptable answer is to be rich enough to afford a SFH in a highly-ranked school district. Unsurprising.

The thing is, there will always be people who look down on other's choices. There are people who think that if you *truly* valued your kid's education, you'd send them to private school. There are some who don't consider DC-area private schools worthy and think you should be sending your kid to exclusive NYC-area private schools or NE boarding schools.

At the end of the day, just do what works for your family and tell everyone else to piss off!

[Anonymous]

No, apartments mean lots of people in not a lot of space.

At least from my perspective. In my head, it just leads to over crowded. I don’t care if it’s rich over crowding or poor over crowding. Too many kids in a class, is too many kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ah, but it's funny: I've seen the argument made many times here that if those of us in non-wealthy areas *truly* valued our children's education, we'd live in a tiny apartment in a W district, rather than a SFH in the DCC or wherever.

So, really, the only acceptable answer is to be rich enough to afford a SFH in a highly-ranked school district. Unsurprising.

The thing is, there will always be people who look down on other's choices. There are people who think that if you *truly* valued your kid's education, you'd send them to private school. There are some who don't consider DC-area private schools worthy and think you should be sending your kid to exclusive NYC-area private schools or NE boarding schools.

At the end of the day, just do what works for your family and tell everyone else to piss off!

Ha! True. I'm thrilled to tell people to piss off around this issue, I was just thinking of a thread from yesterday literally telling people to find apartments if they couldn't afford a SFH... presumably so they can be looked down on? Fun times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What happened to just considering the kid's character and not what the parents do or own?!
Grown-ups are stupid. I grew up in lower class and several parents told their kids not to play with me from time to time. I still remember it. I don't know if the parents do remember saying it (their kids repeated it to me) but they treat me like gold when I visit their children now.
I won't bring it up because they clearly have changed (maybe faking it)and my friends and I have great memories from the time we were allowed to play together.
Our condo building is full of highly educated people with kids in local school. Some families own several apartments in the building.
Our kids are just as capable and smart as the ones in houses. They speak several languages and travel abroad a lot to see family.
Let the kids choose their friends and don't make stupid comments like my DH.

But what if your building wasn’t filled with highly educated people? Would that matter?