Parents serving alcohol or allowing it in their homes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From what I have seen (as an outsider and a mom of kids not in the crowd) its loosely about popularity and a certain culture they are grooming the kid for - like frats and sororities. These kids have the looks and skills to end up in top houses. ALL of these kids will rush.

That's what your "not popular kid wants you to think.

Some parents pay attention to their teens. These parents will notice alcohol on the breath - it doesn't matter if the kid sleeps over elsewhere, the smell is detectable for quite a while. I smell it on drunks like you in the office.

Keep fooling yourself it helps you be self righteous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another parent here - private school - and yes there is a large group of parents that almost encouraged drinking from the start of HS. The rationale was that the kids can UBER, and better drink at their house than in a field somewhere etc. Kids drink vodka drinks and beer. And yes, parents of this crowd def. think of their kids as the cool ones. Many of the parents are big time lawyers too. At graduation kids and parents all drink together at these parties - and even knowing all of this I was still shocked at the number of grad parties where the parents had kegs and didn't give a crap if other parents not in the crowd knew. Nobody ratted them out and some of the parties were huge. I don't mind my kids having drinks in moderation when they are in later HS, but no way would I supply to others to be cool.

Yep. 16yo DD was invited to a classmate's house and then they UBERed to the house of a very famous DC type where kids were drinking. DC stayed a bit but doesn't drink and felt uncomfortable when kids started pairing up so she UBERed home. The kids there have parents most people have heard of, and the parents seem to be fine with their HS kids getting drunk every weekend, as long as they do it in their houses.

Let me guess, a cable TV showman or a Catholic scotus?

Nope, Democrats.

Off topic, but only 37% of Catholics are Republican. Just saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God help any parent who serves my child. I will end them.

Bet your kid will never tell you.

My kids won't need to tell me. DH is in cybersecurity, if you were sitting in an airport right now or anywhere connected to wifi, he could pull up your phone, get through all of your security settings and see exactly what you were doing on your phone, look through all your pictures, see your texts, know everything about your life as it relates to your phone.

I can assure you, unless my teen uses a landline to communicate about these things or writes notes, we're gonna know, who, what, where, when and it will all be documented.

My daddy did that. Not cybersecurity, but is very handy with all things radio and bugged our home phone. Ask him now how his relationship is with me now and how much he wishes he would have never done that. Ask him how a man in his fifties cried like a baby (tears and all) and begged his adult daughter to forgive him. He’ll pay for that bug for the rest of his life. Don’t do it.

LOL, go take some more SSRIs. You were mental to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God help any parent who serves my child. I will end them.

Bet your kid will never tell you.

My kids won't need to tell me. DH is in cybersecurity, if you were sitting in an airport right now or anywhere connected to wifi, he could pull up your phone, get through all of your security settings and see exactly what you were doing on your phone, look through all your pictures, see your texts, know everything about your life as it relates to your phone.

I can assure you, unless my teen uses a landline to communicate about these things or writes notes, we're gonna know, who, what, where, when and it will all be documented.

A violation of privacy - but pretty cool in case of emergency.

My teens are well aware of what dad can look at when he chooses. Also from the day we allowed electronics that communicated with the outside world it was made abundantly clear that when it comes to the cell phones, iPads, computer and anything else we pay a service for or device we have purchased that there is absolutely no expectation of privacy. None. This is not a surprise and there is no privacy with devices we pay for for our minor children. My children are aware of this and unless they are using telegrams, they are pretty good kids as are their crowd of friends.

So, just to put you all on blast, kids talk, they talk alot, they can't help themselves, it is a compulsion. You can consider my kids jailbait. I wont warn you, I would send you a friendly reminder. If you or your children are engaging illegal activity that puts my kids or others in danger or on the wrong side of the law, and the little chatter boxes want to discuss that over their phones or tablets. I will go straight to the police. Period. The end.

[Anonymous]

I don't find that parents provide it, rather that kids sneak it in, and some parents turn a blind eye to it. I am also stunned by prevalent drinking culture here, where they have parties for parents and their friends and teens, where booze is not "offered" to the kids but it is so clearly there even if parents say don't drink. I had to kick out kids from Halloween party even though I said only drinks I provided can be drunk, soda and water, within an hour of lying to my face, they had snuck alcohol in( I don't have it in my house) and then lied to my face that hard lemonade is not alcohol!
The whole US teen drinking culture is messed up. You make a big deal of forbidding something, guess what they are going to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a lot of lawyers and MDs who do this. Their kids get all As and are leaders at the school. What exactly is the harm? The pearl clutching is comical.

Jealously from parents of loser kids. It’s why they are online looking for reassurance that all the bad parents are hosting parties, sorry that we want our kids to enjoy life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents who do this are just asking to get, at the very least, sued, at worst, thrown in prison. They can't control what happens after the kids leave. In my view, they are showing worse judgment than the teenagers.

Such a sad case, https://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/howard/bs-xpm-2010-12-22-bs-md-ho-stapf-drinking-trial-20101222-story,amp.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God help any parent who serves my child. I will end them.

Bet your kid will never tell you.

My kids won't need to tell me. DH is in cybersecurity, if you were sitting in an airport right now or anywhere connected to wifi, he could pull up your phone, get through all of your security settings and see exactly what you were doing on your phone, look through all your pictures, see your texts, know everything about your life as it relates to your phone.

I can assure you, unless my teen uses a landline to communicate about these things or writes notes, we're gonna know, who, what, where, when and it will all be documented.

A violation of privacy - but pretty cool in case of emergency.

Pretty cool? It's illegal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From what I have seen (as an outsider and a mom of kids not in the crowd) its loosely about popularity and a certain culture they are grooming the kid for - like frats and sororities. These kids have the looks and skills to end up in top houses. ALL of these kids will rush.

So this phony pearl clutching boils down to deep-seeded envy? Gen X’ers who were dorks in high school and college still have a chip on their shoulder around outgoing parents who didn’t invite them to parties?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents who do this are just asking to get, at the very least, sued, at worst, thrown in prison. They can't control what happens after the kids leave. In my view, they are showing worse judgment than the teenagers.

Such a sad case, https://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/howard/bs-xpm-2010-12-22-bs-md-ho-stapf-drinking-trial-20101222-story,amp.html

Far more kids die in car crashes than from boozing at a rich doctor or lobbyist’s house. Maybe you should never let your kid drive.

[Anonymous]

I am the house all of the kids hang out at. I do not keep any alcohol in my house because of this. I would never knowingly allow drinking at my house. I have never caught anyone drinking but my guess is they have snuck it in. I have worried about my liability. I would rather have my kid here but drinking is certainly not condoned at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God help any parent who serves my child. I will end them.

Bump

[Anonymous]

A lot of these responses are not surprising given the messed up relationship so many adults have with alcohol. It is glorified in our culture and marketed specifically to women and there is very little thoughtful drinking that goes on. I think moderate drinking is fine but when it becomes the norm then we are talking about addiction. It's a slippery slope and alcohol is very addictive. If you are giving teens alcohol, you are not setting them up well to learn how to have fun without it. Furthermore, you are getting them addicted early--even if there is not an immediate physical addiction there will be a psychological one. Finally, time they spend intoxicated is time they are not spending developing social skills and coping skills. They are simply masking difficult feelings by getting drunk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of these responses are not surprising given the messed up relationship so many adults have with alcohol. It is glorified in our culture and marketed specifically to women and there is very little thoughtful drinking that goes on. I think moderate drinking is fine but when it becomes the norm then we are talking about addiction. It's a slippery slope and alcohol is very addictive. If you are giving teens alcohol, you are not setting them up well to learn how to have fun without it. Furthermore, you are getting them addicted early--even if there is not an immediate physical addiction there will be a psychological one. Finally, time they spend intoxicated is time they are not spending developing social skills and coping skills. They are simply masking difficult feelings by getting drunk.

Thank you for your post.

"A party isn't a party without alcohol."

Parents BEWARE. Trust (if you want) but VERIFY.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe how many parents are having teens over and providing or allowing them to drink. My daughter is a freshman and there have been several occasions where this has been the situation. Makes it hard to parent! And what are they thinking? This is private school kids FWIW, but I’m sure that part doesn’t matter.

It is illegal. Report them.