Parents serving alcohol or allowing it in their homes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SES has a lot to do with it. OP if you’re a scholarship family I’d tell my kid to stay the hell away from any party where liquor was being served, even with adult supervision.

If something goes wrong, your family may not have the financial or social resources to make it “go away”.

Only scholarship kids must stay away?

As a scholarship kid, I 100% understand what PP is saying. Shit rolls downhill, and while not fair, the scholarship kids don't get the same 2nd shot, they have to avoid all slip ups

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the kiddos have good marks, are involved at school (clubs, sports, stu gov) & volunteer who gives a damn if parents let them booze? Rather have kids enjoy a few beers at my house than be God knows where with kids pushing drugs and random boys creeping on them.

Here's a third option: they can go to concerts, movies and other age appropriate entertainment and NOT drink. That is how my friends and I spent our free time as teenagers.

Yo, “concert at Juffy Lube” or MPP is code for “drinking all day and night.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another parent here - private school - and yes there is a large group of parents that almost encouraged drinking from the start of HS. The rationale was that the kids can UBER, and better drink at their house than in a field somewhere etc. Kids drink vodka drinks and beer. And yes, parents of this crowd def. think of their kids as the cool ones. Many of the parents are big time lawyers too. At graduation kids and parents all drink together at these parties - and even knowing all of this I was still shocked at the number of grad parties where the parents had kegs and didn't give a crap if other parents not in the crowd knew. Nobody ratted them out and some of the parties were huge. I don't mind my kids having drinks in moderation when they are in later HS, but no way would I supply to others to be cool.

Yep. 16yo DD was invited to a classmate's house and then they UBERed to the house of a very famous DC type where kids were drinking. DC stayed a bit but doesn't drink and felt uncomfortable when kids started pairing up so she UBERed home. The kids there have parents most people have heard of, and the parents seem to be fine with their HS kids getting drunk every weekend, as long as they do it in their houses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God help any parent who serves my child. I will end them.

Bet your kid will never tell you.

My parents had the same attitude as the first PP and I never drank. I was too afraid of the consequences. The attitude that “they’ll do it anyway and lie about it” may be true for a very small portion of kids, but there are plenty of good kids who follow the rules of their parents. Stop using “they’ll just do it and lie about it” as an excuse to be a lazy, shitty parent.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God help any parent who serves my child. I will end them.

Bet your kid will never tell you.

My kids won't need to tell me. DH is in cybersecurity, if you were sitting in an airport right now or anywhere connected to wifi, he could pull up your phone, get through all of your security settings and see exactly what you were doing on your phone, look through all your pictures, see your texts, know everything about your life as it relates to your phone.

I can assure you, unless my teen uses a landline to communicate about these things or writes notes, we're gonna know, who, what, where, when and it will all be documented.

My daddy did that. Not cybersecurity, but is very handy with all things radio and bugged our home phone. Ask him now how his relationship is with me now and how much he wishes he would have never done that. Ask him how a man in his fifties cried like a baby (tears and all) and begged his adult daughter to forgive him. He’ll pay for that bug for the rest of his life. Don’t do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another parent here - private school - and yes there is a large group of parents that almost encouraged drinking from the start of HS. The rationale was that the kids can UBER, and better drink at their house than in a field somewhere etc. Kids drink vodka drinks and beer. And yes, parents of this crowd def. think of their kids as the cool ones. Many of the parents are big time lawyers too. At graduation kids and parents all drink together at these parties - and even knowing all of this I was still shocked at the number of grad parties where the parents had kegs and didn't give a crap if other parents not in the crowd knew. Nobody ratted them out and some of the parties were huge. I don't mind my kids having drinks in moderation when they are in later HS, but no way would I supply to others to be cool.

Yep. 16yo DD was invited to a classmate's house and then they UBERed to the house of a very famous DC type where kids were drinking. DC stayed a bit but doesn't drink and felt uncomfortable when kids started pairing up so she UBERed home. The kids there have parents most people have heard of, and the parents seem to be fine with their HS kids getting drunk every weekend, as long as they do it in their houses.

Let me guess, a cable TV showman or a Catholic scotus?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another parent here - private school - and yes there is a large group of parents that almost encouraged drinking from the start of HS. The rationale was that the kids can UBER, and better drink at their house than in a field somewhere etc. Kids drink vodka drinks and beer. And yes, parents of this crowd def. think of their kids as the cool ones. Many of the parents are big time lawyers too. At graduation kids and parents all drink together at these parties - and even knowing all of this I was still shocked at the number of grad parties where the parents had kegs and didn't give a crap if other parents not in the crowd knew. Nobody ratted them out and some of the parties were huge. I don't mind my kids having drinks in moderation when they are in later HS, but no way would I supply to others to be cool.

Yep. 16yo DD was invited to a classmate's house and then they UBERed to the house of a very famous DC type where kids were drinking. DC stayed a bit but doesn't drink and felt uncomfortable when kids started pairing up so she UBERed home. The kids there have parents most people have heard of, and the parents seem to be fine with their HS kids getting drunk every weekend, as long as they do it in their houses.

Let me guess, a cable TV showman or a Catholic scotus?

Nope, Democrats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aren't there huge fines for parents who allow this? If a kid leaves a house/party and has an accident on the way home, the party parents will be in trouble.

Yes. It's called the Social Host Law. Adult may be fined for underage access and/or charged if injury or death occurs as a result of underage drinking when the adult serves alcohol or knowingly provides access to alcohol.

States with social host liability laws applicable only to minors:

Alabama
Arizona
Florida
Illinois
Kansas
Michigan
New Hampshire
Utah
Wyoming

States with social host liability laws applicable to guests of all ages:

Alaska
Arkansas
Connecticut
Hawaii
Maine
Maryland
Massachusetts
Missouri
New Jersey
Ohio
Oklahoma
Oregon
Pennsylvania
Rhode Island
South Carolina
Tennessee
Washington
Wisconsin

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aren't there huge fines for parents who allow this? If a kid leaves a house/party and has an accident on the way home, the party parents will be in trouble.

Yes. It's called the Social Host Law. Adult may be fined for underage access and/or charged if injury or death occurs as a result of underage drinking when the adult serves alcohol or knowingly provides access to alcohol.

States with social host liability laws applicable only to minors:

Alabama
Arizona
Florida
Illinois
Kansas
Michigan
New Hampshire
Utah
Wyoming

States with social host liability laws applicable to guests of all ages:

Alaska
Arkansas
Connecticut
Hawaii
Maine
Maryland
Massachusetts
Missouri
New Jersey
Ohio
Oklahoma
Oregon
Pennsylvania
Rhode Island
South Carolina
Tennessee
Washington
Wisconsin

What is the punishment usually?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aren't there huge fines for parents who allow this? If a kid leaves a house/party and has an accident on the way home, the party parents will be in trouble.

Yes. It's called the Social Host Law. Adult may be fined for underage access and/or charged if injury or death occurs as a result of underage drinking when the adult serves alcohol or knowingly provides access to alcohol.

States with social host liability laws applicable only to minors:

Alabama
Arizona
Florida
Illinois
Kansas
Michigan
New Hampshire
Utah
Wyoming

States with social host liability laws applicable to guests of all ages:

Alaska
Arkansas
Connecticut
Hawaii
Maine
Maryland
Massachusetts
Missouri
New Jersey
Ohio
Oklahoma
Oregon
Pennsylvania
Rhode Island
South Carolina
Tennessee
Washington
Wisconsin

What is the punishment usually?

I'm the PP that listed states above. List is incorrect (sorry). As of late 2018, 43 states now enact some form of Social Host Law. Statutes and punishment vary by state.

What Are the Penalties for Violating Social Host Laws?
Violations of social host laws can result in many legal penalties for the social host. A citation can result in fines, and/or jail time. Also, if underage drinking was involved, the host may be liable for serving alcohol to a minor, which is a misdemeanor crime.

In addition, social hosts may be held liable for injuries to a third party caused by drunken persons who are leaving the event. For example, if the social host served alcohol to one of their guests, and that guest then drove home intoxicated and injured someone in an accident, the social host may be liable for the injured party’s losses. This may even subject the social host to a civil claim in which they will have to pay for the third party’s injuries, and possibly for damage to their property.

The legal consequences for violating a social host law may vary according to state. However, liability is typically increased if the social host served alcohol to a guest who was already visibly intoxicated, and if the social host knew that the person would be driving.

https://www.legalmatch.com/law-library/article/social-host-liability-presence-ordinances.html?formVariant=3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God help any parent who serves my child. I will end them.

Bet your kid will never tell you.

My parents had the same attitude as the first PP and I never drank. I was too afraid of the consequences. The attitude that “they’ll do it anyway and lie about it” may be true for a very small portion of kids, but there are plenty of good kids who follow the rules of their parents. Stop using “they’ll just do it and lie about it” as an excuse to be a lazy, shitty parent.

Exactly.

+1 I didn't think my parents were bluffing and they were definitely not my friend or cool parents. I didn't do drugs either!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
When I invite parents and children over for dinner, and serve wine at that dinner, I ask the teens if they want to taste, with their parents' permission. We are French, and this how children start drinking responsibly in France. A sip, not more.

I can't imagine offering alcohol to minors without their parents' express permission, let along letting them drive themselves home afterward.

Yes, Europeans are much smarter about this. Though the UK seems a bit different culturally, ha ha!

There is absolutely no evidence supporting this belief. Rates of alcohol consumption and alcoholism are higher throughout Europe than they are in the US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God help any parent who serves my child. I will end them.

Bet your kid will never tell you.

My parents had the same attitude as the first PP and I never drank. I was too afraid of the consequences. The attitude that “they’ll do it anyway and lie about it” may be true for a very small portion of kids, but there are plenty of good kids who follow the rules of their parents. Stop using “they’ll just do it and lie about it” as an excuse to be a lazy, shitty parent.

Exactly.

+1 I didn't think my parents were bluffing and they were definitely not my friend or cool parents. I didn't do drugs either!

Same here. My parents were clear about their expectations that I would not engage in underage drinking, and I did not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dunno. I drank at my parent house with them at dinner parties. Wine mostly. If other kids were present I didn't get to drink. Unless they were there with their parents and those were my parents friends and of the same mind about wine at dinner.
They never offered just alchojol to a bunch of kids they didn't know. But then we are not from the US. I've never had a problem with alchohol and drank less in college than I did at home in hs since I didn't like cheap beer or the feeling of being drunk and it wasn't a forbidden fruit so not interesting to me.

I am from the US and this is what we've done with our kids too, once they are in high school. DH owns a few bars and we have a full bar at home. The kids have made milkshakes with booze after dinner a few times, and they pour into shotglasses to sip from. Once you've left for college, when you come home for breaks, you're given a wine glass at dinners.

We do not serve to kids unless their parents are there and they okay it.

This. We allow DS to drink wine at family dinners. But not if he has friends over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe how many parents are having teens over and providing or allowing them to drink. My daughter is a freshman and there have been several occasions where this has been the situation. Makes it hard to parent! And what are they thinking? This is private school kids FWIW, but I’m sure that part doesn’t matter.

Those parents are super dumb.