Tell Me About Being an Only Child

[Anonymous]

I'm an introvert who happens to be an only child that got used to being alone. I think that those two things combined made for a lonely childhood. I grew up with cousins coming to visit and staying with us for a few weeks at a time on occasion, but they were always much older or much younger than me. My mom didn't really do anything to help me feel less lonely. I grew up in a household where children were meant to be seen and not heard. She only really paid attention to me if I got in trouble. It was only at the request of my grandmother that my mom put me in pre-k, or else I would have stayed home until I started K. I loved school and having lots to do with other kids. Now, as an adult, I feel the stress of being an only child rearing its ugly head again, as my mom gets older.

[Anonymous]

Im a 34 year old only child (raised by a single mother) who has three young kids. My mom did the best she could but I don't think its good to be an only child if it can be helped. I had trouble having roommates throughout my early to mid twenties. I still have trouble sharing and get overwhelmed when there is too much noise and no quiet (often!).

Good things that were done by my mom was moving us to a neighborhood with a lot of children so I had a lot of neighbors to play with easily, and to raise me in a strong faith tradition (Catholic) with private Catholic school. That was like an extended family for me and I still have very fond memories of my childhood because of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make sure you build really strong connections with extended family. Only child will need that rooting and support in adulthood, if the natural order of life prevails and your only child has to take care of you and handle all of your affairs in illness and death. Having been through the death of a parent, I can't imagine what it would have been like without my siblings.

Your last point is an excellent one. Parents of only children have an obligation to make and keep their affairs and directives in order, legal, filed and up to date. Your only will bear the burden of your deaths alone.

People should do this no matter what. Also, my mom and MIL both had to deal with their parents’ death alone because their siblings are useless. Don’t act like this is an only child thing.

Some people with siblings end up bearing the brunt of their parents' illnesses, long term care, and deaths. Other people with siblings are able to "share the load". I've seen both situations in my own extended family.
Only children are guaranteed to bear the burden alone, provided they still maintain a relationship with their parents.

I end up doing everything for my MIL and honestly its not fair. She has two sons. I don't mind doing my husband's share as he works and I don't and I do care for her BUT, the expectation it falls on a spouse is not reasonable.

A good, committed spouse can assist tremendously. My dad has done 100x more to help my mom take care of her aging mother than my deadbeat uncle has. Yes, it's not the same as having a sibling who can share the emotional burden, but don't act as though only children are destined to deal with these issues 100% on their own. They don't live on an island.