I don't understand parents who are flashy with their wealth but send their kids to public school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Similar question for the group: Why do all of the parents who pay over half a million on their kids private education send their kids to state schools? I'm amazed that so many privately schooled kids go to UVA, VT and UMD. (not that those aren't good schools, but it's kind of weird that some families paid a ton of money and others nothing more than their taxes and the end result is the same.... Same applies to private universities- the end result is the same but some families paid a ton to get there.

My kids attend public school, but I understand that many parents who send their kids to private school do so because they want a particular educational experience for their kids.

In other words, it's not about grooming them for the Ivy League; it's about giving them a specific K-12 educational experience.

[Anonymous]

"but they are obviously not that wealthy since their kids go public."


That is the flaw in your reasoning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in N. Arlington and frankly there are a lot of moms of a certain type: they all have YSL logo handbags, huge diamond rings and other expensive jewelry, often blonde hair, expensive clothing, etc. And they all send their kids to public school.

The thing that I find weird is not just that they spend a lot of money on things other than tuition (private school is crazy expensive, and I understand the choice to go public) but that they seem to spend money on things that make them LOOK wealthy but they are obviously not that wealthy since their kids go public. I see a lot of expensive handbags at my kids' private school, but they are almost always Celine or Tod's or Ferragamo or other less flashy brands than a YSL logo, and plenty of the richest families drive a minivan (so practical, no matter how lame) whereas these public school moms in N. Arlington are so often in flashier luxury cars.

I'm trying hard not be judgmental, but I just don't understand the culture of being really flashy with money (I mean, I don't like YSL handbags for that reason to begin with) and I especially don't understand it among people who send their kids to public school.

I'm sure I hit a lot of buttons with this post, I'm just wondering if anyone else has observed what I have.

How do you even notice these things?

[Anonymous]

What the hell does this have to do with Schools and Education?
Shouldn't this be in Beauty and Fashion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Count me as another one who believes your premise is flawed and your biases are showing. We live in North Arlington. We could afford to send our kids to private without batting an eye, but we don't because we are big believers in public education (plus the public schools are excellent). Whatever else you may feel is flashy about me has nothing to do with our decision to attend public rather than private.

Another like you in Potomac.

[Anonymous]

We have wealth and we send our kids to public schools. Mostly because there are certain programs in public schools that only take the brightest kids. We are not White or Christians so the lure to go to private school is not there. We will go to any school/program that has the brightest students and we have stuck with public schools. Diversity does not upset us as long as our student's academic experience in the classroom is wonderful.

Private schools are good for other nice to have that many White Christians value. We value only the best academic rigor and high performing peer group that we have found in public school special programs.

[Anonymous]

I don’t even notice other people’s bags. You are very low class OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this whole line of thinking is pointless because everyone should do what feels right for their family. But I will bite anyhow.

Yes, there are status conscious families in N Arl who have all the bells and whistles, the tasteful modern home (that isn't too large), the vacations, jewelry, clothes and whatever they want. I think they choose public because they want to seem "normal" and want their kids to grow up that way. You can buy a couple luxury handbags, take a European ski vacation and have a high car payment for far less than it costs to send 2 kids to private school, so I'm not sure all of them could afford it in a heartbeat. For those who can afford it, perhaps they're saving up for college, do not feel their child would enjoy/thrive in private or many other reasons.

I just think they prefer to spend more money on themselves and spend more time socializing with the other yuppie locals rather than spending it on the best education for their children. It's not what you know but who you know. Don't overthink it.

And again: the unshakable assumption that the schools you prefer for your kids are the best and the schools they prefer for their kids are inferior. This is your read on the situation, but it is not universal, nor is it fact. Once you understand that different people have different kids with different needs, different priorities, and different opinions than your own, you'll be able to get through the day without being traumatized by the sight of a blonde public school mom with a YSL handbag.

+1 My DH went to private schools and was adamant that ours go to public schools. Educationally, the privates he attended were fine but he hated not feeling a part of his neighborhood. We could stretch to afford private school but would only do it if public didn't work for our kids (e.g. some kind of special needs or a bullying situation the public school wasn't handling well). But our schools in Arlington have been great so far.

[Anonymous]

I went to private and send my kids to public. Our public schools are excellent. FYI privates, at least back in my day, were a way to get into UVA with way lower qualifications than it takes for public school. You really had to be top notch from public.

[Anonymous]

I just don’t understand why you care. You do you.

[Anonymous]

I found there were many children with behavioral issues in private schools. Yes, their parents can afford to send them to private schools so that they have a nicer environment because they are unable to cope in public school perhaps, but I felt that the presence of such children in normal classrooms was utterly disruptive for my own child's learning environment. We pulled our child out and put them in public school and could not have been happier.

[Anonymous]

Plenty of people who can afford private school send their kids to public school because they prefer public school.

[Anonymous]

Some of the schools in N. Arlington might as well be private schools.

[Anonymous]

It's new money so they prefer flashiness over substance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's new money so they prefer flashiness over substance.

Funny, snobby but funny

I think spending money on expensive handbags is one of the stupidest things people do

I'll learn to recognize the YSL bags