Is it rude to bring food if you are asked 'just to bring yourselves'?

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's rude. Sometimes the hostess wants to plan the menu. f it's her party, she's hosting, you shouldn't get in the way ... and binging something of yours to serve is getting in the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope those of you who routinely show up with extra food (and no, I'm not talking about hostess gifts--things that don't require immediate attention or usage at the party) will at least see that not everyone sees this as welcome, or generous. At least understand that different perspectives exist on this topic.

How about:

"Can we bring anything?"

"Just yourselves!"

"I've been craving Old Bay shrimp--would you mind if I brought a pound?"

THEN, we can all get on the same page, and the host can either say "sounds great" or "actually, I already will have a bunch of shrimp, so please don't bother."

This.

[Anonymous]

It's not rude, but it also does go directly against etiquette. Proper etiquette is to bring a small host/hostess gift that does not have to be served immediately and requires no immediate work on the part of the host.

If hosts want contributions to the party, they'll take you up on your kind offer to bring something. If they decline and you bring stuff anyway, you're no longer being kind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow you do not sound nice OP.

I agree. Stop hosting if this stresses you out so much. Otherwise smoke a joint and calm the f down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: It seems so...joyless..

haha this response is pure perfection

[Anonymous]

It’s not rude but I’m with you it’s annoying. I try to bring wine in this situation if I’m the first. If I’m the host I give myself a pass if we need to throw things out afterwards (which I hate doing!).