Euthanize or attempt to re-home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are in the same situation with an elderly dog that has no bladder control, and after years of waiting for ee to pass, I am done too.

I have found I get the same answers as this thread. Apparently there’s no limit to the lengths we are expected to go in caring for elderly, incontinent pets.

I give you permission to put your cat down. And I am so very sorry for the position you are in. It is truly an awful place to be.

Loss of bladder control is a legitimate reason to put down a dog, and any longtime dog owner and vet will agree. The dog feels the loss of dignity and you can see it in their eyes. These are hard and heart-wrenching decisions; I’ve been there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, posted a number of months ago. Based on that advice, we moved a litter box into our bathroom, tried various litters, lots of Feliway. So we are several months in on this arrangement and it's just not working. Husband is still extremely unhappy and at this point I can't take it anymore either.

We had a contractor look at our home today and had to walk past the master bedroom, and I realized I had to open all the windows to vent out the cat waste stink before I could let him come through. It's just gross.

As a bonus the cat howls half the night. And randomly during the daytime. Maybe she's trying to tell me something and I'm just not getting it.

I thought so. OP, go back and read your original post and the pages upon pages of advice and input you received. Then reread this newer post you put up and the pages and pages of advice you have received. There are no differences, right? You need to make a decision and follow through rather than keep posting the same thing here because you will only continue to receive the same advice.

Between the two threads you’ve mentioned a few things about your pet that will lead the majority of people on this board to press you to keep your cat: the cat is generally happy and sweet; you’ve owned the cat for 16 years and she was your family before you had a husband or kids; she is in great health and not in pain; your husband is resentful about the cat and unhelpful with the situation; you introduced a rambunctious dog to your family when your ‘only child’ cat was already a senior animal who had never been around a dog and the dog terrorizes the cat so much she is afraid to leave your room. With this back story you will have a hard time getting a lot of support in favor of euthanizing. In general, with a pet that is elderly, sweet and loving, and physically fit and not in pain, the vast majority of pet owners would also choose not to kill. It’s not an easy situation (I understand how frustrating and difficult it is to live in your situation), but I also believe this situation was created by you (eg, the dog, unsupportive family). It is within your control to help your cat; it’s behavioral for you both. If you’ve had enough then you know what your choice will be (and it is very clear from your posts that you favor putting her down). Just do it. But please never ever get another pet.

OP please read the above. And then read it a second time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, posted a number of months ago. Based on that advice, we moved a litter box into our bathroom, tried various litters, lots of Feliway. So we are several months in on this arrangement and it's just not working. Husband is still extremely unhappy and at this point I can't take it anymore either.

We had a contractor look at our home today and had to walk past the master bedroom, and I realized I had to open all the windows to vent out the cat waste stink before I could let him come through. It's just gross.

As a bonus the cat howls half the night. And randomly during the daytime. Maybe she's trying to tell me something and I'm just not getting it.

I thought so. OP, go back and read your original post and the pages upon pages of advice and input you received. Then reread this newer post you put up and the pages and pages of advice you have received. There are no differences, right? You need to make a decision and follow through rather than keep posting the same thing here because you will only continue to receive the same advice.

Between the two threads you’ve mentioned a few things about your pet that will lead the majority of people on this board to press you to keep your cat: the cat is generally happy and sweet; you’ve owned the cat for 16 years and she was your family before you had a husband or kids; she is in great health and not in pain; your husband is resentful about the cat and unhelpful with the situation; you introduced a rambunctious dog to your family when your ‘only child’ cat was already a senior animal who had never been around a dog and the dog terrorizes the cat so much she is afraid to leave your room. With this back story you will have a hard time getting a lot of support in favor of euthanizing. In general, with a pet that is elderly, sweet and loving, and physically fit and not in pain, the vast majority of pet owners would also choose not to kill. It’s not an easy situation (I understand how frustrating and difficult it is to live in your situation), but I also believe this situation was created by you (eg, the dog, unsupportive family). It is within your control to help your cat; it’s behavioral for you both. If you’ve had enough then you know what your choice will be (and it is very clear from your posts that you favor putting her down). Just do it. But please never ever get another pet.

OP please read the above. And then read it a second time.

Ah read it a third time OP, then disregard it. Seriously, these cat lovers are insane. Cat pee destroying your house and your ability to sleep is reason enough to put the cat down.

You need NO ONE'S PERMISSION!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, posted a number of months ago. Based on that advice, we moved a litter box into our bathroom, tried various litters, lots of Feliway. So we are several months in on this arrangement and it's just not working. Husband is still extremely unhappy and at this point I can't take it anymore either.

We had a contractor look at our home today and had to walk past the master bedroom, and I realized I had to open all the windows to vent out the cat waste stink before I could let him come through. It's just gross.

As a bonus the cat howls half the night. And randomly during the daytime. Maybe she's trying to tell me something and I'm just not getting it.

I thought so. OP, go back and read your original post and the pages upon pages of advice and input you received. Then reread this newer post you put up and the pages and pages of advice you have received. There are no differences, right? You need to make a decision and follow through rather than keep posting the same thing here because you will only continue to receive the same advice.

Between the two threads you’ve mentioned a few things about your pet that will lead the majority of people on this board to press you to keep your cat: the cat is generally happy and sweet; you’ve owned the cat for 16 years and she was your family before you had a husband or kids; she is in great health and not in pain; your husband is resentful about the cat and unhelpful with the situation; you introduced a rambunctious dog to your family when your ‘only child’ cat was already a senior animal who had never been around a dog and the dog terrorizes the cat so much she is afraid to leave your room. With this back story you will have a hard time getting a lot of support in favor of euthanizing. In general, with a pet that is elderly, sweet and loving, and physically fit and not in pain, the vast majority of pet owners would also choose not to kill. It’s not an easy situation (I understand how frustrating and difficult it is to live in your situation), but I also believe this situation was created by you (eg, the dog, unsupportive family). It is within your control to help your cat; it’s behavioral for you both. If you’ve had enough then you know what your choice will be (and it is very clear from your posts that you favor putting her down). Just do it. But please never ever get another pet.

OP please read the above. And then read it a second time.

So the nutshell version of the posts above: if you get a pet, all future life decisions, family planning, and making best decisions possible for said family should be dictated by...what's best for the pet. Not what's best for the human (who could not have known the pet would never acclimate to new family members), not what's best for the family unit (peace, harmony, not pitched battles between spouses), or what's best for the children (dog decision was based on therapeutic/support need of child). All decisions must first and foremost be about the pet? I just can't subscribe to that. I guess I'm selfish and horrible but I do believe I have to put the humans first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, posted a number of months ago. Based on that advice, we moved a litter box into our bathroom, tried various litters, lots of Feliway. So we are several months in on this arrangement and it's just not working. Husband is still extremely unhappy and at this point I can't take it anymore either.

We had a contractor look at our home today and had to walk past the master bedroom, and I realized I had to open all the windows to vent out the cat waste stink before I could let him come through. It's just gross.

As a bonus the cat howls half the night. And randomly during the daytime. Maybe she's trying to tell me something and I'm just not getting it.

I thought so. OP, go back and read your original post and the pages upon pages of advice and input you received. Then reread this newer post you put up and the pages and pages of advice you have received. There are no differences, right? You need to make a decision and follow through rather than keep posting the same thing here because you will only continue to receive the same advice.

Between the two threads you’ve mentioned a few things about your pet that will lead the majority of people on this board to press you to keep your cat: the cat is generally happy and sweet; you’ve owned the cat for 16 years and she was your family before you had a husband or kids; she is in great health and not in pain; your husband is resentful about the cat and unhelpful with the situation; you introduced a rambunctious dog to your family when your ‘only child’ cat was already a senior animal who had never been around a dog and the dog terrorizes the cat so much she is afraid to leave your room. With this back story you will have a hard time getting a lot of support in favor of euthanizing. In general, with a pet that is elderly, sweet and loving, and physically fit and not in pain, the vast majority of pet owners would also choose not to kill. It’s not an easy situation (I understand how frustrating and difficult it is to live in your situation), but I also believe this situation was created by you (eg, the dog, unsupportive family). It is within your control to help your cat; it’s behavioral for you both. If you’ve had enough then you know what your choice will be (and it is very clear from your posts that you favor putting her down). Just do it. But please never ever get another pet.

OP please read the above. And then read it a second time.

DP. I read the previous thread and this one and still think this forum is absurd. Pet owners are called all sorts of bad names and advised never to get another pet -- because they choose to euthanize an elderly incontinent pet. None of that makes sense.

OP please ignore the above. Do what's best for the entire family, including the pets and humans. Give your pet love and say goodbye.

[Anonymous]

I've seen plenty of people on here telling the OP what a monster she is for even thinking of rehoming or euthanizing, but no one is offering to take the cat. Very telling. Why? Because no one on here wants their home smelling of cat p!ss and we all know a cat this old isn't going to get better no matter how many different litters or pills you shove at it.

[Anonymous]

+1 to the time to say goodbye. Quite frankly, I think euthanizing is the most humane option at this point. I am a long time pet owner and do not think you are evil. Quite frankly, I’m in the midst of conversations daily with my 94yo grandmother about her DNR. For those that want to make the leap to how would OP feel when she is elderly and out of commission...my grandmother is better off than most. She she is surrounded daily by family, has money to afford a decent senior life in an assisted community...but her body is breaking down way faster than her mind, and she is extremely depressed about the situation. She goes for simple testing these days, and wants everyone from the orderly on up to know if “something happens DNR!”...she recognizes she has lived a happy, full, long life and while we are not euthanizing grandma, she is impatiently waiting the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, posted a number of months ago. Based on that advice, we moved a litter box into our bathroom, tried various litters, lots of Feliway. So we are several months in on this arrangement and it's just not working. Husband is still extremely unhappy and at this point I can't take it anymore either.

We had a contractor look at our home today and had to walk past the master bedroom, and I realized I had to open all the windows to vent out the cat waste stink before I could let him come through. It's just gross.

As a bonus the cat howls half the night. And randomly during the daytime. Maybe she's trying to tell me something and I'm just not getting it.

I thought so. OP, go back and read your original post and the pages upon pages of advice and input you received. Then reread this newer post you put up and the pages and pages of advice you have received. There are no differences, right? You need to make a decision and follow through rather than keep posting the same thing here because you will only continue to receive the same advice.

Between the two threads you’ve mentioned a few things about your pet that will lead the majority of people on this board to press you to keep your cat: the cat is generally happy and sweet; you’ve owned the cat for 16 years and she was your family before you had a husband or kids; she is in great health and not in pain; your husband is resentful about the cat and unhelpful with the situation; you introduced a rambunctious dog to your family when your ‘only child’ cat was already a senior animal who had never been around a dog and the dog terrorizes the cat so much she is afraid to leave your room. With this back story you will have a hard time getting a lot of support in favor of euthanizing. In general, with a pet that is elderly, sweet and loving, and physically fit and not in pain, the vast majority of pet owners would also choose not to kill. It’s not an easy situation (I understand how frustrating and difficult it is to live in your situation), but I also believe this situation was created by you (eg, the dog, unsupportive family). It is within your control to help your cat; it’s behavioral for you both. If you’ve had enough then you know what your choice will be (and it is very clear from your posts that you favor putting her down). Just do it. But please never ever get another pet.

OP please read the above. And then read it a second time.

So the nutshell version of the posts above: if you get a pet, all future life decisions, family planning, and making best decisions possible for said family should be dictated by...what's best for the pet. Not what's best for the human (who could not have known the pet would never acclimate to new family members), not what's best for the family unit (peace, harmony, not pitched battles between spouses), or what's best for the children (dog decision was based on therapeutic/support need of child). All decisions must first and foremost be about the pet? I just can't subscribe to that. I guess I'm selfish and horrible but I do believe I have to put the humans first.

Don't be an ass. Of course not. But, getting the dog was a stupid, stupid decision. In THAT decision, yes, the present animal has "dibs." Your husband is also being an ass but nothing you can do about that.

I think you should re-read the first PP about 5 times. It's 100% correct. THEN don't get a pet. You're not cut out for it. Plain and simple.

This isn't about "permission", though you opened the box and asked for it. So, you get the opinions you get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've seen plenty of people on here telling the OP what a monster she is for even thinking of rehoming or euthanizing, but no one is offering to take the cat. Very telling. Why? Because no one on here wants their home smelling of cat p!ss and we all know a cat this old isn't going to get better no matter how many different litters or pills you shove at it.

Nice assumption. Many of us, myself included, have pets already. I have 2 special needs dogs (who would have been long dumped by many of you b/c of the inconvenience they pose) and an elderly cat. So, yeah, I can't take another one. But you're also missing the point: OP created some of this issue. Now she's whining about it. It may be "just a cat" but it's a life and is dependent on her. She's been a loving companion. And this is how she's treated? Honestly, it's gross. But, whatever, give her a peaceful exit and I stand by the "you should not get another pet" comment. Absolutely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've seen plenty of people on here telling the OP what a monster she is for even thinking of rehoming or euthanizing, but no one is offering to take the cat. Very telling. Why? Because no one on here wants their home smelling of cat p!ss and we all know a cat this old isn't going to get better no matter how many different litters or pills you shove at it.

Nice assumption. Many of us, myself included, have pets already. I have 2 special needs dogs (who would have been long dumped by many of you b/c of the inconvenience they pose) and an elderly cat. So, yeah, I can't take another one. But you're also missing the point: OP created some of this issue. Now she's whining about it. It may be "just a cat" but it's a life and is dependent on her. She's been a loving companion. And this is how she's treated? Honestly, it's gross. But, whatever, give her a peaceful exit and I stand by the "you should not get another pet" comment. Absolutely.

OP, you absolutely shouldn't come to this board for advice. There are many other, better pet forums.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've seen plenty of people on here telling the OP what a monster she is for even thinking of rehoming or euthanizing, but no one is offering to take the cat. Very telling. Why? Because no one on here wants their home smelling of cat p!ss and we all know a cat this old isn't going to get better no matter how many different litters or pills you shove at it.

As a PP mentioned, many of us who are horrified by this already have pets. I've rescued (and still own) both a geriatric dog and a geriatric cat. My dog, who came to live with us at the ripe old age of ~10 was taken from an animal hoarder who could not afford to have all 33 of her dogs, particularly since they all had various illnesses due to neglect (heartworm, mange, malnutrition, mites, chronic ear infections, etc). So no, the answer is not for animal lovers to keep adopting pets that have become inconvenient to their owners. That's how animal hoarding begins.

I appreciate that OPs situation has put a lot of stress on her living situation and relationships, but the revelation about introducing a puppy into the home is tough to read. Either the cat was already a stress in your life - and therefore it was incredibly irresponsible to buy a puppy - or introduction of the puppy is stressing out the cat. Both scenarios strike me as irresponsible. It's probably easier to rehome a puppy, OP, but I don't see that being discussed as an option.

[Anonymous]

OP, you should euthanize the cat. You have given her a great long life, much longer than she would have had in a different home if she's had peeing issues for so long.

Ignore the haters. It's OK and you are not a bad person for euthanizing a cat who is destroying your house.

And there is no way you will find a no-kill shelter to take her. No-kill shelters simply do not take cats with behavioral issues like failure to use the litter box. They have too many cats to try to save to take ones with litterbox issues. How do I know? I've tried to find a home for our peeing cat and have failed miserably.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you should euthanize the cat. You have given her a great long life, much longer than she would have had in a different home if she's had peeing issues for so long.

Ignore the haters. It's OK and you are not a bad person for euthanizing a cat who is destroying your house.

And there is no way you will find a no-kill shelter to take her. No-kill shelters simply do not take cats with behavioral issues like failure to use the litter box. They have too many cats to try to save to take ones with litterbox issues. How do I know? I've tried to find a home for our peeing cat and have failed miserably.

Sorry to hear it PP. Wishing you good luck with your own cat challenges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've seen plenty of people on here telling the OP what a monster she is for even thinking of rehoming or euthanizing, but no one is offering to take the cat. Very telling. Why? Because no one on here wants their home smelling of cat p!ss and we all know a cat this old isn't going to get better no matter how many different litters or pills you shove at it.

Nice assumption. Many of us, myself included, have pets already. I have 2 special needs dogs (who would have been long dumped by many of you b/c of the inconvenience they pose) and an elderly cat. So, yeah, I can't take another one. But you're also missing the point: OP created some of this issue. Now she's whining about it. It may be "just a cat" but it's a life and is dependent on her. She's been a loving companion. And this is how she's treated? Honestly, it's gross. But, whatever, give her a peaceful exit and I stand by the "you should not get another pet" comment. Absolutely.

OP, you absolutely shouldn't come to this board for advice. There are many other, better pet forums.

Her main problem is that she keeps coming here to post about the same thing, doesn’t like the overwhelming volume nor content of responses she gets, and keeps thinking there will be a different answer if she reposts. OP, just make a decision and stick with it. This is your decision. Whatever you decide, you should be comfortable with making that decision. A bunch of strangers telling you one thing or another isn’t going to help you very much because you need to make this decision and live with whatever the decision is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've seen plenty of people on here telling the OP what a monster she is for even thinking of rehoming or euthanizing, but no one is offering to take the cat. Very telling. Why? Because no one on here wants their home smelling of cat p!ss and we all know a cat this old isn't going to get better no matter how many different litters or pills you shove at it.

Nice assumption. Many of us, myself included, have pets already. I have 2 special needs dogs (who would have been long dumped by many of you b/c of the inconvenience they pose) and an elderly cat. So, yeah, I can't take another one. But you're also missing the point: OP created some of this issue. Now she's whining about it. It may be "just a cat" but it's a life and is dependent on her. She's been a loving companion. And this is how she's treated? Honestly, it's gross. But, whatever, give her a peaceful exit and I stand by the "you should not get another pet" comment. Absolutely.

OP, you absolutely shouldn't come to this board for advice. There are many other, better pet forums.

Her main problem is that she keeps coming here to post about the same thing, doesn’t like the overwhelming volume nor content of responses she gets, and keeps thinking there will be a different answer if she reposts. OP, just make a decision and stick with it. This is your decision. Whatever you decide, you should be comfortable with making that decision. A bunch of strangers telling you one thing or another isn’t going to help you very much because you need to make this decision and live with whatever the decision is.

OP here. My primary challenge is that although I can logically decide that euthanizing the cat is the "right" choice for many reasons, it's pretty hard to bring myself to do it. But I won't start a new post about this cat again, as I don't see any circumstances changing. Thanks to PPs who understand I'm not the cold-hearted monster some seem to think I am. I cry every time I think about this.