The boy in NJ who shot and killed mom, dad, sister and family friend was autistic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see a lot of post about Adams mother but little on Adams father. Why does it fall all on the mother he had this child also. I believe he did not live local. lots of fathers are running from there emotional obligation to raise these children leaving it to all fall on the mother.

Both parents were out of their league on this, but Nancy Lanza had primary custody. Peter Lanza tried to maintain contact and tried to get professional help, but Adam eventually cut him off from contact. He lived about an hour away from Newtown, so he wasn't that far. It appears that Peter was pushing for the new evaluation at Yale and wanted to follow their recommendations Meanwhile, Nancy actively enabled the boy's isolation and avoided getting proper treatment. The psychiatrist she used did not appear competent to treat this case, and in any event, they rejected his recommendation to medicate. The only thing I think the father could have done differently was sue for custody based on the failure to provide treatment, but even that might not have worked, since Adam seemed to want to stay with his mother, and she seemed adept at keeping the system from interfering in her plans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see a lot of post about Adams mother but little on Adams father. Why does it fall all on the mother he had this child also. I believe he did not live local. lots of fathers are running from there emotional obligation to raise these children leaving it to all fall on the mother.

Father tried to be in his life, but boy cut off from him.

Mother could have had more support if she put him in school. Child would have gotten services and she would have had a break. Sorry, perhaps she was steeped in depression, but I, a mother of a child with autism, think this mom made some big mistakes. She had the money to get herself therapy and hire an advocate to help her get a good program for her son. Also, she should have tried harder with meds and I am someone who believes in trying everything before going with meds. She was in denial about how far gone her son was and she threw around words like "abuse" which could have been thrown right back at her. Perhaps it's abusive to deny your child an education and access to meds that could help him be a functioning member of society. She pushed away supports, it wasn't that she had none.

The school apparently said that Adam would withdraw into some unreachable place inside of himself and they would literally have to send for his mother to draw him back out. It made me wonder if he was catatonic or had learned how to manipulate the adults at the school and his mother by closing down like that. He allowed his mother to help him because she appeased him. The pictures taken of him during his public school stint and that look on Adam's face are just chilling. He looks completely unreachable. Yet, if you google "Adam Lanza Travis the chimp radio interview" it is shocking how well Adam was able to articulate his ideas. His mother withdrew him from the HS and home schooled him with the support of the public school curriculum (but no home visits from the school) so that Adam could get a normal HS diploma. At some point, his parents consulted the Yale psychiatrists but Nancy refused their treatment advice. Adam took classes at the local college before graduating from HS at the age of 17. Once he graduated, the school was no longer involved in anything that Adam did. Adam took some classes at the community college before completely dropping out. He had ceased all communication with his father and became increasingly withdrawn, staying in his room and participating in online forums.

At the time of his death, he hadn't spoken to his dad for a couple of years and it may have been that long since he had seen a psychiatrist (not sure). He weighed a little over 110 pounds and had taped black trash bags over his bedroom windows. He communicated with his mother via email.

His mom in the meantime, had been taking short trips around the country with the intention of downsizing their home and finding a school that could help Adam. The thought of moving may have been what set Adam off. His mom was no longer appeasing him and that pissed him off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see a lot of post about Adams mother but little on Adams father. Why does it fall all on the mother he had this child also. I believe he did not live local. lots of fathers are running from there emotional obligation to raise these children leaving it to all fall on the mother.

Father tried to be in his life, but boy cut off from him.

Mother could have had more support if she put him in school. Child would have gotten services and she would have had a break. Sorry, perhaps she was steeped in depression, but I, a mother of a child with autism, think this mom made some big mistakes. She had the money to get herself therapy and hire an advocate to help her get a good program for her son. Also, she should have tried harder with meds and I am someone who believes in trying everything before going with meds. She was in denial about how far gone her son was and she threw around words like "abuse" which could have been thrown right back at her. Perhaps it's abusive to deny your child an education and access to meds that could help him be a functioning member of society. She pushed away supports, it wasn't that she had none.

The school apparently said that Adam would withdraw into some unreachable place inside of himself and they would literally have to send for his mother to draw him back out. It made me wonder if he was catatonic or had learned how to manipulate the adults at the school and his mother by closing down like that. He allowed his mother to help him because she appeased him. The pictures taken of him during his public school stint and that look on Adam's face are just chilling. He looks completely unreachable. Yet, if you google "Adam Lanza Travis the chimp radio interview" it is shocking how well Adam was able to articulate his ideas. His mother withdrew him from the HS and home schooled him with the support of the public school curriculum (but no home visits from the school) so that Adam could get a normal HS diploma. At some point, his parents consulted the Yale psychiatrists but Nancy refused their treatment advice. Adam took classes at the local college before graduating from HS at the age of 17. Once he graduated, the school was no longer involved in anything that Adam did. Adam took some classes at the community college before completely dropping out. He had ceased all communication with his father and became increasingly withdrawn, staying in his room and participating in online forums.

At the time of his death, he hadn't spoken to his dad for a couple of years and it may have been that long since he had seen a psychiatrist (not sure). He weighed a little over 110 pounds and had taped black trash bags over his bedroom windows. He communicated with his mother via email.

His mom in the meantime, had been taking short trips around the country with the intention of downsizing their home and finding a school that could help Adam. The thought of moving may have been what set Adam off. His mom was no longer appeasing him and that pissed him off.

Even at this late stage, it seems she still did not understand the situation. He needed a mental hospital at this point, not a cross country trip to a new school, three years after he finished high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see a lot of post about Adams mother but little on Adams father. Why does it fall all on the mother he had this child also. I believe he did not live local. lots of fathers are running from there emotional obligation to raise these children leaving it to all fall on the mother.

Father tried to be in his life, but boy cut off from him.

Mother could have had more support if she put him in school. Child would have gotten services and she would have had a break. Sorry, perhaps she was steeped in depression, but I, a mother of a child with autism, think this mom made some big mistakes. She had the money to get herself therapy and hire an advocate to help her get a good program for her son. Also, she should have tried harder with meds and I am someone who believes in trying everything before going with meds. She was in denial about how far gone her son was and she threw around words like "abuse" which could have been thrown right back at her. Perhaps it's abusive to deny your child an education and access to meds that could help him be a functioning member of society. She pushed away supports, it wasn't that she had none.

The school apparently said that Adam would withdraw into some unreachable place inside of himself and they would literally have to send for his mother to draw him back out. It made me wonder if he was catatonic or had learned how to manipulate the adults at the school and his mother by closing down like that. He allowed his mother to help him because she appeased him. The pictures taken of him during his public school stint and that look on Adam's face are just chilling. He looks completely unreachable. Yet, if you google "Adam Lanza Travis the chimp radio interview" it is shocking how well Adam was able to articulate his ideas. His mother withdrew him from the HS and home schooled him with the support of the public school curriculum (but no home visits from the school) so that Adam could get a normal HS diploma. At some point, his parents consulted the Yale psychiatrists but Nancy refused their treatment advice. Adam took classes at the local college before graduating from HS at the age of 17. Once he graduated, the school was no longer involved in anything that Adam did. Adam took some classes at the community college before completely dropping out. He had ceased all communication with his father and became increasingly withdrawn, staying in his room and participating in online forums.

At the time of his death, he hadn't spoken to his dad for a couple of years and it may have been that long since he had seen a psychiatrist (not sure). He weighed a little over 110 pounds and had taped black trash bags over his bedroom windows. He communicated with his mother via email.

His mom in the meantime, had been taking short trips around the country with the intention of downsizing their home and finding a school that could help Adam. The thought of moving may have been what set Adam off. His mom was no longer appeasing him and that pissed him off.

Even at this late stage, it seems she still did not understand the situation. He needed a mental hospital at this point, not a cross country trip to a new school, three years after he finished high school.

I wonder if support payments from the dad were coming to an end and she was suddenly desperate to figure out how she was going to manage Adam.