No one eats in this house

[Anonymous]

I’m Indian so it’s rare to have this problem as people keep feeding you or at least leave all kinds of food out so people can help themselves. Where I have run into this problem with Indian family is those who are ridiculously frugal. I’m sure they don’t want to host bc it costs money but it’s a culture where it’s hugely insulting to ask people to stay in a hotel esp when you have a mansion that could house guests for a weekend. Yet you can see their entire weekend is spent adding up - how much is this costing me. These are the types that have a closed kitchen so you can’t help yourself, they won’t offer breakfast until 11, for that breakfast they will offer you 1 piece of toast and give you the stink eye if you want a second slice, and then saw - wow breakfast was so late, no need for lunch. And they take offense at everything - if you bring home snacks for all to share or order up a few pizzas for everyone at 2 pm - you (and every relative of yours) are told - oh you don’t like me food, you don’t like how we’re hosting?! What gets me is that these are the types who are always worth several million dollars, requisite McMansion in Jersey, 2 Mercedes in the driveway and yet they can’t say - ok we have 5 visitors for 2 days, let’s add $500 to this week’s grocery/eating out budget.

[Anonymous]

My parents always leave the cooked turkey out on the counter with a towel over it the night after the holiday and then make it into soup. And, when I was pregnant my mom served me the same shrimp salad three days in a row, and it was left out for a few hours each day and then popped back in the fridge.

[Anonymous]

Lol OP. My inlaws are the same way. My MIL will give us 1/2 sandwich for lunch and dole out potato chips—-2-3 chips per plate. That’s it for 6 hours. The dinner will be one piece of pizza or even 1/2 (she’ll cut it into slivers). When we vacation with them at a beach house my husband and I sneak out and go to drive thrus. My husband grew up in the type of controlling environment—he was never allowed to go into the refrigerator without asking —never even as a teen. He had to ask his mom for every glass of milk all the way to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m Indian so it’s rare to have this problem as people keep feeding you or at least leave all kinds of food out so people can help themselves. Where I have run into this problem with Indian family is those who are ridiculously frugal. I’m sure they don’t want to host bc it costs money but it’s a culture where it’s hugely insulting to ask people to stay in a hotel esp when you have a mansion that could house guests for a weekend. Yet you can see their entire weekend is spent adding up - how much is this costing me. These are the types that have a closed kitchen so you can’t help yourself, they won’t offer breakfast until 11, for that breakfast they will offer you 1 piece of toast and give you the stink eye if you want a second slice, and then saw - wow breakfast was so late, no need for lunch. And they take offense at everything - if you bring home snacks for all to share or order up a few pizzas for everyone at 2 pm - you (and every relative of yours) are told - oh you don’t like me food, you don’t like how we’re hosting?! What gets me is that these are the types who are always worth several million dollars, requisite McMansion in Jersey, 2 Mercedes in the driveway and yet they can’t say - ok we have 5 visitors for 2 days, let’s add $500 to this week’s grocery/eating out budget.

This was interesting insight that made me consider a few things about where I'm visiting (we're not Indian). I had been thinking this was simply control/disordered eating, but now I'm thinking about it through a financial lens!

[Anonymous]

Previous poster again. There was one infamous summer when I helped myself to a second piece of lasagna (the first being a one inch square) and my FIL hissed at me that I had had enough. Good times.
(And no, they’re not poor—FIL is a law partner)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's the opposite at my IL's house. Holy shit, three GIANT meals a day. Eggs, bacon, biscuits, etc for breakfast, some unnecessary lunch mere hours later, then something heavy like cubed steak and mashed potatoes for dinner. I feel like all we do there is eat and then wash dishes and get ready to eat again.

This is my experience too. They are discussing what to have for lunch at breakfast

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Italian mother in me is horrified to hear that people are hungry.

Are all these people not feeding you nordic Europeans? Irish?

I can't imagine having guests in your house, and not offering them a staggering amount of food.

If you don't have a ton of leftovers after Christmas that means you didn't do it right.

Italians are the best hosts! Out of all the European cultures here in America Italians are the only ones who actually feed people and are hospitable to guests. It is definitely a quality that other white folks lack. There have been numerous threads on DCUM about white people in the northeast not feeding guests. Why do people invite people over their homes and refuse to feed them? In my culture its considered rude to not provide meals for house guests. It will hurt me to know that a person is starving at my house.

Have you ever been to the South? You're not going hungry at a Southern home.

Agree with this! It’s unthinkable for a Southern host not to have plenty of good and drink out for guests IME. We always tell guests to help themselves and offer food and drinks regularly. We don’t each much ourselves - in case y’all think we’re huge - it’s just good manners to make sure people have what they need and don’t have to ask! I was raised that you have to be thinking about the comfort of your guests regularly. By the same token, making sure the parents to their liking, they’re warm or cool enough, have the linens, other things they need, etc. If I was at home didn’t extend me the same courtesy, I’d respect the houses rules of course, but you better believe I’d be out getting food if my family was hungry!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ILs too. They travel a lot and everything in the fridge is expired. Condiments from 2013. Six months old yogurt.

My parents are very guilty of holding on to expired food- I found stuff in their pantry that expired in 2005, 2007 etc....why???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Italian mother in me is horrified to hear that people are hungry.

Are all these people not feeding you nordic Europeans? Irish?

I can't imagine having guests in your house, and not offering them a staggering amount of food.

If you don't have a ton of leftovers after Christmas that means you didn't do it right.

Italians are the best hosts! Out of all the European cultures here in America Italians are the only ones who actually feed people and are hospitable to guests. It is definitely a quality that other white folks lack. There have been numerous threads on DCUM about white people in the northeast not feeding guests. Why do people invite people over their homes and refuse to feed them? In my culture its considered rude to not provide meals for house guests. It will hurt me to know that a person is starving at my house.

Have you ever been to the South? You're not going hungry at a Southern home.

Agree with this! It’s unthinkable for a Southern host not to have plenty of good and drink out for guests IME. We always tell guests to help themselves and offer food and drinks regularly. We don’t each much ourselves - in case y’all think we’re huge - it’s just good manners to make sure people have what they need and don’t have to ask! I was raised that you have to be thinking about the comfort of your guests regularly. By the same token, making sure the parents to their liking, they’re warm or cool enough, have the linens, other things they need, etc. If I was at home didn’t extend me the same courtesy, I’d respect the houses rules of course, but you better believe I’d be out getting food if my family was hungry!

Thanks for schooling us on Southern hospitality. Of course, this hospitality only was extended to white people, right? I'm so over the Southern hospitality schtick. Yes, you had plenty of cheese straws to pass around, but you also had some strange fruit hanging in your trees...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Italian mother in me is horrified to hear that people are hungry.

Are all these people not feeding you nordic Europeans? Irish?

I can't imagine having guests in your house, and not offering them a staggering amount of food.

If you don't have a ton of leftovers after Christmas that means you didn't do it right.

Italians are the best hosts! Out of all the European cultures here in America Italians are the only ones who actually feed people and are hospitable to guests. It is definitely a quality that other white folks lack. There have been numerous threads on DCUM about white people in the northeast not feeding guests. Why do people invite people over their homes and refuse to feed them? In my culture its considered rude to not provide meals for house guests. It will hurt me to know that a person is starving at my house.

Have you ever been to the South? You're not going hungry at a Southern home.

Agree with this! It’s unthinkable for a Southern host not to have plenty of good and drink out for guests IME. We always tell guests to help themselves and offer food and drinks regularly. We don’t each much ourselves - in case y’all think we’re huge - it’s just good manners to make sure people have what they need and don’t have to ask! I was raised that you have to be thinking about the comfort of your guests regularly. By the same token, making sure the parents to their liking, they’re warm or cool enough, have the linens, other things they need, etc. If I was at home didn’t extend me the same courtesy, I’d respect the houses rules of course, but you better believe I’d be out getting food if my family was hungry!

Thanks for schooling us on Southern hospitality. Of course, this hospitality only was extended to white people, right? I'm so over the Southern hospitality schtick. Yes, you had plenty of cheese straws to pass around, but you also had some strange fruit hanging in your trees...

Get bent, judgy. I have both black and white southern family members. It’s the same on both sides- food and hospitality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Italian mother in me is horrified to hear that people are hungry.

Are all these people not feeding you nordic Europeans? Irish?

I can't imagine having guests in your house, and not offering them a staggering amount of food.

If you don't have a ton of leftovers after Christmas that means you didn't do it right.

Italians are the best hosts! Out of all the European cultures here in America Italians are the only ones who actually feed people and are hospitable to guests. It is definitely a quality that other white folks lack. There have been numerous threads on DCUM about white people in the northeast not feeding guests. Why do people invite people over their homes and refuse to feed them? In my culture its considered rude to not provide meals for house guests. It will hurt me to know that a person is starving at my house.

Have you ever been to the South? You're not going hungry at a Southern home.

Agree with this! It’s unthinkable for a Southern host not to have plenty of good and drink out for guests IME. We always tell guests to help themselves and offer food and drinks regularly. We don’t each much ourselves - in case y’all think we’re huge - it’s just good manners to make sure people have what they need and don’t have to ask! I was raised that you have to be thinking about the comfort of your guests regularly. By the same token, making sure the parents to their liking, they’re warm or cool enough, have the linens, other things they need, etc. If I was at home didn’t extend me the same courtesy, I’d respect the houses rules of course, but you better believe I’d be out getting food if my family was hungry!

Thanks for schooling us on Southern hospitality. Of course, this hospitality only was extended to white people, right? I'm so over the Southern hospitality schtick. Yes, you had plenty of cheese straws to pass around, but you also had some strange fruit hanging in your trees...

Get bent, judgy. I have both black and white southern family members. It’s the same on both sides- food and hospitality.

... and the fact that you assumed I am white shoes just how little you know about the south.

[Anonymous]

OMG, that sounds so boring. (I'm being serious). I always bring my own snacks. Anything in your purse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Italian mother in me is horrified to hear that people are hungry.

Are all these people not feeding you nordic Europeans? Irish?

I can't imagine having guests in your house, and not offering them a staggering amount of food.

If you don't have a ton of leftovers after Christmas that means you didn't do it right.

Italians are the best hosts! Out of all the European cultures here in America Italians are the only ones who actually feed people and are hospitable to guests. It is definitely a quality that other white folks lack. There have been numerous threads on DCUM about white people in the northeast not feeding guests. Why do people invite people over their homes and refuse to feed them? In my culture its considered rude to not provide meals for house guests. It will hurt me to know that a person is starving at my house.

Have you ever been to the South? You're not going hungry at a Southern home.

Agree with this! It’s unthinkable for a Southern host not to have plenty of good and drink out for guests IME. We always tell guests to help themselves and offer food and drinks regularly. We don’t each much ourselves - in case y’all think we’re huge - it’s just good manners to make sure people have what they need and don’t have to ask! I was raised that you have to be thinking about the comfort of your guests regularly. By the same token, making sure the parents to their liking, they’re warm or cool enough, have the linens, other things they need, etc. If I was at home didn’t extend me the same courtesy, I’d respect the houses rules of course, but you better believe I’d be out getting food if my family was hungry!

Thanks for schooling us on Southern hospitality. Of course, this hospitality only was extended to white people, right? I'm so over the Southern hospitality schtick. Yes, you had plenty of cheese straws to pass around, but you also had some strange fruit hanging in your trees...

Get bent, judgy. I have both black and white southern family members. It’s the same on both sides- food and hospitality.

I'm so over the mythology of Southern hospitality. "Y'all" can think you are so superior all you want, but all the sweet tea in the world can't wash away the disgusting, atrocious things that still happen in your backyards on a daily basis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Italian mother in me is horrified to hear that people are hungry.

Are all these people not feeding you nordic Europeans? Irish?

I can't imagine having guests in your house, and not offering them a staggering amount of food.

If you don't have a ton of leftovers after Christmas that means you didn't do it right.

Italians are the best hosts! Out of all the European cultures here in America Italians are the only ones who actually feed people and are hospitable to guests. It is definitely a quality that other white folks lack. There have been numerous threads on DCUM about white people in the northeast not feeding guests. Why do people invite people over their homes and refuse to feed them? In my culture its considered rude to not provide meals for house guests. It will hurt me to know that a person is starving at my house.

Have you ever been to the South? You're not going hungry at a Southern home.

Agree with this! It’s unthinkable for a Southern host not to have plenty of good and drink out for guests IME. We always tell guests to help themselves and offer food and drinks regularly. We don’t each much ourselves - in case y’all think we’re huge - it’s just good manners to make sure people have what they need and don’t have to ask! I was raised that you have to be thinking about the comfort of your guests regularly. By the same token, making sure the parents to their liking, they’re warm or cool enough, have the linens, other things they need, etc. If I was at home didn’t extend me the same courtesy, I’d respect the houses rules of course, but you better believe I’d be out getting food if my family was hungry!

Thanks for schooling us on Southern hospitality. Of course, this hospitality only was extended to white people, right? I'm so over the Southern hospitality schtick. Yes, you had plenty of cheese straws to pass around, but you also had some strange fruit hanging in your trees...

Get bent, judgy. I have both black and white southern family members. It’s the same on both sides- food and hospitality.

I'm so over the mythology of Southern hospitality. "Y'all" can think you are so superior all you want, but all the sweet tea in the world can't wash away the disgusting, atrocious things that still happen in your backyards on a daily basis.

Who do you think you are? I can guarantee your history has its own acts of atrocity. Nothing is smugger and more laughable than a mean unfriendly person dissing the south as if it’s the only place where racism, sexism, and bigotry exist. Those of you among us without sin, let him cast the first stone. Merry Christmas!

[Anonymous]

Uh PP - you realize there are black families in the south right? They do the same things re food/southern hospitality. Soooo much food at every gathering. Have you never met a southern black grandma?