Set me straight family wedding stuff

[Anonymous]

Sounds like SIL is in her 20s and you're in your 30s or 40s? Pull rank. Tell the friend that you know it's hard to arrange a lot of the details from long distance, and that finances can be tight when you're just starting out.

Tell her you'd like to take the picky stuff off her plate by arranging the food. Ask the friend if there's a special dish or treat she/bride likes and include it. Solicit her opinion for the cake ("The bakery offers yellow cake with raspberry filling or chocolate with mousse filling. Which do you think would be better?"). Ditto for decor. ("I've ordered an arrangement of daisies from the florist. When you come, would you like to put up some streamers?")

If you send out invites, put her name on it as co-host or host. Ask her to make a toast to the couple at the event.

If it's your house, you absolutely have the right to control what's brought in, whether it's dictated by your storage or refrigeration or personal preference. A 24yo probably still thinks a keg is a party necessity. She needs to learn that you can still have plenty of beer without having to roll in a keg and find somewhere to set it up -- you will be modeling these things for her to use later on when she's older and wiser.

At the party itself, frequently introduce her around and give her the credit for hosting. Anyone who matters will know your role and her friends will be impressed at her level of taste.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let it go and offer advice. It is perfectly fine to reject something about the party you find objectionable.

You can throw her a shower on your terms at a later date.

For the zillionth time, RELATIVES DO NOT HOST SHOWERS.

Actually, OP, you come across as someone who will forever remind YOUR SO of all the things you have done for her. Do a good deed and forget about it. Good people do not keep a running tab of all their good deeds.

Isn't it an engagement party? Those are fine for family to host.